


Things About Izaya

by ScarletCake



Series: Adoration [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alcohol, Birthday Fluff, Bite Kink, Biting, Blood, Body Worship, Broken Bones, Bruises, Cherry Blossoms, Comfort, Cuddling, Dance classes, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Flavored Lube, Flirting, Fluff, Genderfluid Izaya, Gifts, Halloween Costumes, Ice Cream, Innuendo, Kissing, Kittens, Lingerie, M/M, Mentioned Face-Sitting, Mild Sexual Content, Namirona in the background, Nightmares, Non-Linear Narrative, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Shotgunning, Sleeping Together, Sleepy Kisses, Snow and Coffee, Snowball Fight, Snuggling, Strength Kink, Teasing, Thunderstorms, Time Skips, Yukatas and Festivals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 21:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 51
Words: 68,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6168025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletCake/pseuds/ScarletCake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shizuo observes the things he loves about Izaya.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Obsessed

Shizuo loves Izaya’s hair.   


It was something he’d noticed almost immediately when they’d met in Raijin. The entire time he was chasing him that first day all he could see was his obnoxious smirk and his hair flying around freely. It had only driven him further into rage because how could someone so terrible be so gorgeous.

Izaya used to absently twist it around his fingers while he did class work and Shizuo had found himself longing to touch it as well. At first, it had been a very minor feeling and he’d brushed it off, but as time went on that longing grew. He got jealous of Kadota every time he patted Izaya’s head.

Now, as he lies in their bed with Izaya asleep and curled up in his arms, he can run his fingers through it as much as he pleases.

Izaya has teased him about this before.

_ Shizu-chan is obsessed with my hair. _

He isn’t going to argue against something so obvious. Izaya likes to be pampered and paid attention to and Shizuo is more than happy to do both of those at the same time.

Izaya shifts and sighs, a faint smile on his lips as Shizuo’s fingers brush the hair out of his eyes for the thousandth time.

Izaya doesn’t move much in his sleep, just sort of lies as close to Shizuo as he can get and stays there. He’s much clingier in the winter when the air holds the chill of outside, but even during the warmer months he often wakes to find Izaya nuzzled up against him. Shizuo is always happy when he wakes up before Izaya does. The informant doesn’t sleep enough in his opinion anyway, but it has gotten better since he started living with him.

Shizuo likes how relaxed Izaya looks when he’s like this, with his hair fanned out and his lips parted slightly. Something in him also sees how fragile Izaya is in this state and the desire to protect is overwhelming despite the fact that this is their bedroom and Izaya is in no danger with Shizuo right here. It’s irrational, but with how dangerous everything is in their daily lives Shizuo feels that his caution is warranted.

Izaya shifts again and burrows his head into Shizuo’s chest, distracting him from his unpleasant thoughts. He twirls his fingers around the hair along Izaya’s neck gently, smirking when he hears Izaya hum in appreciation.

The knowledge that Izaya is powerful in his own right and capable of standing against him is a comfort. He’s safe, Shizuo reminds himself.   



	2. Fixated

Shizuo brought up the topic of dancing one evening to Izaya while they were watching tv.

“Would you have any interest in doing that with me?” he asked when a couple finished up their tango performance. Really, Shizuo hadn’t been all that interested in the show until he’d thought about how Izaya would look moving against him like that. Izaya had immediately informed him that he would only dance with him if they took proper form classes for it. 

In his excitement about the class, he had accidentally brought it up to Tom and Varona. Varona’s eyes had lit up and she’d excused herself so she could make a phone call. Shizuo knew her well enough to see that that energy was directed entirely at getting Namie to take dancing lessons with her. He had sighed and sent a quick text to Izaya to warn him.

And that brought them to where they are now.

Shizuo and Izaya are standing on the complete opposite side of the room from where Namie and Varona reside. Namie had glared at Izaya when she’d walked through the door and dragged her girlfriend as far away as she could get.

“Just ignore her,” Izaya rolls his eyes, “this is meant to be fun for the two of us.”

Shizuo smiles, he isn’t concerned with what Namie is doing. Izaya looks amazing and has every bit of his attention. He’s wearing leggings that hug his ass and Shizuo’s hands keep twitching because he can’t actually touch him the way he wants to until they start dancing. Izaya smirks at him when he sees him staring. 

“Goddamn tease.” Shizuo grumbles. 

After the instructor comes in and says her greetings they move immediately into stretches and warm-ups. Some of these require Shizuo to help Izaya and vice versa. Each time that Izaya’s hands are in his he can’t help but marvel at how soft they are, getting distracted enough not to realize that the instructor has moved on to the next position until Izaya’s voice catches his attention. 

It gets worse when they start on the actual dance steps. 

This dance requires one of Izaya’s hands to be in his for almost every step and though Shizuo and Izaya are graceful and know each other, part of Shizuo’s focus is on Izaya’s hands. Izaya notices that he isn’t giving his full attention to their performance. “Shizu-chan? Why do you keep staring at my hands?” 

“Because they’re fuckin distracting. How do you get them that soft?” 

Izaya twirls around and his back is against Shizuo’s chest for the next few steps of the dance but Shizuo can clearly see the blush along his cheekbones. “You’re so embarrassing.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks later and they are the most impressive pair of dance partners and Namie is regularly glaring daggers at them. Even Shizuo finds this amusing. 
> 
> In all seriousness though, I had this idea and I just had to write it down because I love them dancing together. I might bring this back later. Who knows :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a lovely day!


	3. Absorbed

It was during their time attending Raijin that Shinra made the most attempts to make them spend time together. He’d lure Kadota in with the promise of something and then just annoy or guilt Shizuo into agreeing. Izaya was always up for it because it was a chance to tease Shizuo to the point of violence. 

Shinra had claimed that it would be fun, Shizuo had only said yes because sweets were involved. 

Nothing about this is fun. 

Izaya is sitting on a bench next to Shinra and Kadota, Shizuo opted to stand because he didn’t want to risk Izaya trying to steal his ice cream, and all Shizuo can do is stare at Izaya’s knees. 

Shizuo has seen Izaya on a regular basis in and out of school. It isn’t that he doesn’t know Izaya is gorgeous; he tries his best to ignore that or gets violent and tries to punch the arrogant smirk off his face to make him look less pretty. But, Shizuo has never seen Izaya in shorts before.

His right knee is scraped from a fall he had two days earlier. Shizuo had thrown a sign at him that caught in his uniform jacket enough to pull him off balance and send him tumbling down. Shizuo had been too surprised to want to take advantage of the opportunity to get his hands on the other boy. But now that the anger isn’t on the surface, Shizuo feels almost bad about the mark that he caused. 

Izaya’s knees are just as beautiful as the rest of him and Shizuo can’t stop looking at them. He’s really glad that the other three are so absorbed in their conversation because he knows that Izaya will tease him for this. He risks a glance up at Izaya’s face and he wishes that he hadn’t. 

“Is Shizu-chan admiring the mark he left on me?”

Shizuo grits his teeth, “Shut up, flea. It’s your fault for pissing me off.” 

He laughs. It’s bright and amused and Shizuo hates it so much because it affects him in ways he wishes it wouldn’t. Izaya stands up, leaving his half empty ice cream cup next to Shinra, and prances forward until there is barely any room to breathe around his intoxicating scent. “Does Shizu-chan want to touch it?” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

Izaya hums and skips backwards a step, “My knee.” 

Luckily for Shizuo, and Izaya because Shizuo is seriously considering punching him, Kadota speaks up, “It’s pretty hot out here. Maybe we should find a place we can sit that has air conditioning?” 

Arguably, Shizuo could have excused himself and gone home by now. But that feels like Izaya somehow wins something because he keeps smirking back at him and Shizuo has no idea why. And he keeps catching himself staring at the backs of Izaya’s knees, at the flex of the tendons there and he really does wonder what it would feel like to have his hands wrapped around them. 

Realizing where his mind is leading him, his cheeks heat up and he flicks his gaze sideways toward the shops they are walking passed. Those are much safer to look at. 

He doesn’t notice when Shinra calls to him the first time and he only pays attention the second time because the other boy is suddenly stopping and Shizuo has to stop to avoid knocking him over. “What do you want Shinra?” 

“We were talking about going in here. Do you mind?” Where Izaya’s voice is grating because Shizuo likes it too much, Shinra’s voice is just annoying and shrill from excessive enthusiasm.

“Why are you askin me? This was your idea.” 

“Ah, you weren’t paying any attention were you, Shizu-chan?” Izaya sighs, a hand on his hip and one of his knees bent distractingly, “Shinra means him and Dotachin are going in.” 

Shizuo hates it when Shinra does this. He intentionally ditches them and it always leads to trouble that he doesn’t want any part of. This time is no different. He watches Shinra and Kadota disappear into the store before turning to look at Izaya in annoyance. 

Izaya leans against the wall and starts whining. “Shizu-chan is so terrible~ He marred my perfect skin.” Shizuo doesn’t really pay much attention to his complaints. He agrees that Izaya’s skin is attractive though as he glances down yet again to catch sight of the knee that is bent from the angle Izaya has his leg at on the wall. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Izaya pouts, his eyes vivid crimson when Shizuo meets them with his own, “What are you staring at?” 

Shizuo can feel his cheeks heating up again and that is not an easy thing to hide, especially with how close they’re standing, so of course Izaya catches it. “Ah! I knew you were looking at the mark you left. Shizu-chan is such a pervert.” 

Izaya giggles like a madman the whole time Shizuo chases him, occasionally throwing more taunts over his shoulder and pushing Shizuo further into embarrassed rage. Between Izaya’s knees and his taunts, however, Shizuo doesn’t know which is more embarrassing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel kinda bad for Shizuo, honestly. The poor boy is so gay for Izaya he just doesn’t know what to do with himself. 
> 
> I hope you like the chapter!!


	4. Infatuated

Shizuo has never noticed how often he touches Izaya’s hips. He’s drawn to Izaya like a moth to a flame and his hands almost always land on them. 

It’s something that has been going on for years, but he hasn’t paid attention to where exactly his hands are. Shizuo is content as long as some part of them is touching.

Izaya likes to tease him about how physical he is, but he hasn’t complained seriously about it. 

In fact, Izaya is almost as bad as he is. He regularly sits in Shizuo’s lap if he feels like he isn’t getting enough attention. 

He reminds Shizuo of a cat. 

Today is only different because he notices the way Izaya feels in his hands. The sharp lines of bone are hot to the touch and he can feel Izaya’s pulse racing under his fingertips.

They are in an alleyway because Izaya couldn’t wait until they got back to the apartment to rile him up. Not that he minds all that much, the shadows hide them from prying eyes. It’s the informant that doesn’t like physical contact in public. He’d learned that very early in their relationship. 

Sometimes Shizuo feels like Izaya is a drug that he can’t get enough of. One touch is never enough for him, one kiss is never satisfying. Even having him pressed hard up against him like this doesn’t feel close enough. 

Izaya is breathing in small pants against his lips and Shizuo can tell that he is holding Izaya’s hips with too much force to not leave bruises, but he can’t stop himself. 

Izaya’s fingers tug on his hair and pull him closer and Shizuo forces himself to let go with one of his hands so he can wrap his arm around the other’s waist. 

He has no idea how long they’ve been here. It feels like it’s been hours, but also only moments. He has no concept of time when he has Izaya in his arms. Especially when he’s desperate and melting into his touch like he is right now. Shizuo thinks it’s possible that something might have happened over the course of the day to make Izaya seek him out, but he can’t worry about the implications of that yet. 

“Shizu-chan.” 

Shizuo kisses along his jaw so that Izaya can have a few moments to catch his breath. He doesn’t want this to turn into anything more until they get back home. Kissing in an alley is fine, but anything more intimate is limited to private spaces. He does not want anyone else to see or hear Izaya, those moments are for Shizuo.  _ Only  _ for Shizuo. 

“Shizu-chan? Can you—” Izaya gasps when Shizuo starts to nibble on his earlobe, “take tomorrow off?”

Shizuo hums and pulls back slightly so he can see Izaya’s face. “Did something happen?” 

Izaya shakes his head and smirks, “I just want to spend time with you.” 

This is a rare occurrence. Izaya is usually so obsessed with working or watching people that Shizuo has to drag him to bed so he can sleep. Shizuo feels himself smiling as he leans forward to kiss Izaya again. 

He’ll call Tom on the walk home to let him know he won’t be coming to work tomorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for this. I can't even handle how cute and ridiculous they are. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.


	5. Captivated

Celty invited Shizuo to come over for tea after he finished with work for the day and he’d said yes without thinking about Shinra’s presence. Celty is his best friend so he’s usually willing to deal with Shinra’s antics, but it gets annoying pretty quickly when the man won’t stop talking about how he was right about Shizuo and Izaya’s feelings. “I always said that you two were just sexually frustrated and now look at you!”

“Shut the fuck up, Shinra. I’m sick of you talking about this.” He can feel himself getting angrier by the second. 

Shinra laughs and waves his hand as if that will convince Shizuo that he isn’t annoying as hell, “That’s why I wanted you two to meet, you see. I knew you’d get along if you could—” he’s cut off by Celty’s shadows.

Celty holds her PDA up for Shizuo. [I’m sorry about Shinra. You don’t have to stay here and put up with this.]

He smiles at her, incredibly thankful that she’s so understanding, “Thanks Celty. I should probably get home before Izaya starts getting pissy about how late it is.”

Celty offers to give him a ride and he accepts her help despite Shinra’s muffled protests. When they get to Izaya’s apartment building in Shinjuku Celty quickly types out a message and shows it to him. [Goodnight Shizuo. I hope you and Izaya have a good evening.]

Shizuo snorts, fully expecting Izaya to be in a bad mood because of what time it is, “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

When he unlocks the door and steps inside he’s surprised that Izaya is not standing there with his hands on his hips. He’s not at his desk either. Shizuo scowls. Izaya was supposed to be here when he got home.

He is intending to strip and take a quick shower before Izaya gets back, so when he opens the bedroom door and looks up he does not expect what he sees.

His heart stops. He must be dreaming because what he’s seeing cannot be real.

Izaya is standing at the edge of their bed. That in itself isn’t all that strange. What’s caught his attention is what Izaya is  _ wearing _ . It’s red and it looks almost like a dress, but Shizuo knows that that isn’t what this is because of that time when Varona had dragged him into a store to ask for his opinion on valentine’s gifts for Namie that made him blush.

This is lingerie.

Shizuo didn’t know that Izaya had lingerie. He lets his eyes skip over Izaya’s body twice, stopping to look intently at his hips where the bruises from a few weeks ago have faded into nonexistence and then at his collarbones. Shizuo doesn’t get to see Izaya’s collarbones barred like this very often and he wants to bite and kiss them right now, but he also just wants to stare at his entire body.

The informant smiles wide when Shizuo finally makes eye contact with him, “I take it you like it then?”

Shizuo takes a few steps forward so he can reach out and touch him, but Izaya takes a half step back and tilts his head. He actually wants an answer, Shizuo knows that. But he’s really not great with words and he’d rather just show him how much he likes it. Still, he smiles because he can’t help himself, “You look amazing.”

Izaya smiles triumphantly at the compliment and lets Shizuo close the distance between them. “I had to look all over the place for something classy enough for Shizu-chan’s tastes.”

Shizuo rolls his eyes at that and kisses his forehead, “I like you in anything you wear.”

“Mm, but you’ve never seen me in this sort of thing before and I wanted to make an impression.”

“It’s impossible for you not to make an impression.” Shizuo follows Izaya as he lies back on the bed and delicate fingers find their way into blond hair, “I’ve always had a hard time keeping myself from staring at you anyway.”

“I have  _ definitely  _ noticed that.” Shizuo can hear the smile in Izaya’s voice without looking as he brings his lips to the dip between clavicles and kisses gently.

“It’s always been you, ‘zaya.” Shizuo says softly, letting his breath spill over Izaya’s neck as he speaks, “I’ve never looked at anyone the way I do you.”

When Izaya doesn’t respond he sits up slightly so he can see the redness that’s spread over his cheeks. Shizuo smiles, completely content, “There is no one else that could even hope to compare to you.”

Izaya brings one of his hands out of Shizuo’s hair and covers his mouth with it, “Stop saying things like that.”

He kisses Izaya’s palm and reaches up with one of his own so he can link their fingers together, “It’s true though. I thought you wanted compliments.”

“Of course I do, but I didn’t mean try your hardest to embarrass me.”

Shizuo chuckles and leans back down so he can kiss Izaya’s lips, “I’ll stop since you asked so nicely, princess.”

Izaya had been in the process of wrapping his legs around Shizuo’s waist but he freezes instantly and lets out a small gasp. It’s a surprised sound more than anything, not protest. “Just. Stop  _ talking _ .”

Shizuo complies because he is too distracted by Izaya’s lips at this point. He can always tease Izaya after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to go a different way. But Shizuo just doesn’t listen and Izaya gets embarrassed too easily with how expressive Shizuo is. 
> 
> This is what the dress thing looks like if you want to see it. https://i.gyazo.com/fa028dda480fd6ecd48d5b4d1cec03d0.png
> 
> I hope everyone has a lovely day!


	6. Tormented

Shizuo doesn’t know how this started. Izaya has become the center of his thoughts and there is nothing he can do about it. He’s tried to convince himself that it’s just hatred, that all he feels for the other boy is distaste. But it doesn’t work. 

He tried to talk to Shinra about it once, not using names or anything, but he’d caught on and started rambling about his feelings for Celty as if that was going to help in some way. Shizuo isn’t Shinra, he isn’t  _ obsessed  _ with Izaya in the same way that Shinra is with Celty. He also doesn’t claim that he’s in love with Izaya or that he would do anything for him. 

There is nothing healthy about being willing to murder and lie in the name of love, in Shizuo’s opinion. 

Not that he sees his relationship with Izaya as healthy. The only thing that he would argue is healthy between them is the amount of exercise they get when they fight. 

It’s during one of their chases that Shizuo notices Izaya’s neck. He has a lot of mixed emotions about the other boy’s knees and his stupid hair already, but his neck is ten times worse. He isn’t sure if he wants to break it, bite it, or kiss it. And he’s pretty sure that doing any of the three is not an option. Especially since he hasn’t actually managed to catch Izaya yet. 

Izaya has stopped running for the moment and is standing at the edge of the rooftop they are currently on top of. Shizuo is panting and he has nothing to throw at Izaya within reach. “What’s the matter, Shizu-chan? I thought you had more stamina than that.” Izaya is panting worse than Shizuo is so he can tell this is only meant to piss him off. 

“I hate you so much.”

Izaya narrows his eyes, “And why would that be? Because I can see what a  _ monster  _ you are?” 

“Because you’re too damn pretty.” Shizuo growls.

Crimson eyes go wide with shock and after a moment Shizuo realizes what he just said. He can feel every inch of his skin going hot and he thinks he’d rather be hit by a truck than deal with whatever Izaya is going to say in response to this.

Izaya opens his mouth to say something and Shizuo is terrified of the sharp words that are going to be thrown at him so he looks down at his feet. He wasn’t supposed to say that, he didn’t even know where it came from. He hadn’t been thinking about saying that at all. He was going to call him annoying or something. Anything but  _ pretty _ . 

“I didn’t know Shizu-chan had such good taste.” It’s meant to sound like a taunt, Shizuo is sure of that, but it sounds shaky. And when Shizuo looks up at his face it’s more than a little red. 

Shizuo is silent for a moment before responding with “At least I’m not crazy.” 

The other boy laughs and it’s a bitter noise, hardly any amusement is actually present, “I’d have to be...” he says something else but it’s too low for Shizuo to hear. 

“I wasn’t talking about you, flea. I was referring to Shinra.” he scratches at the back of his head and looks up at the sky, no longer able to handle looking at Izaya because he doesn’t want to see the other’s expression with what he’s saying, “It’s not like I like you or anything. I just think you’re pretty.” 

Shizuo expects to be stabbed for this, but when that doesn’t happen he relaxes a bit. Then there is something warm touching his chest and he’s instantly jerking his head down to stare at it. It’s Izaya’s hand. There is no knife in sight, just slim fingers pressed against his shirt. “You are really bad at this.” Izaya says, his voice a whisper. “I gave you a free pass for insulting me and you threw it away.” 

Shizuo chuckles, resists the urge to reach up and grab Izaya’s wrist, “Yeah, well, I’ve always been bad at listening. And I’m horrible at lying.” 

Izaya is quiet again. They look at each other for a long moment before Izaya lets his hand drop back to his side. “We can act like this never happened.” His expression is guarded and Shizuo has the sudden urge to do exactly the opposite. 

“What if I don’t want to?” 

More silence, more staring into each other’s eyes and Shizuo feels like this is getting a bit intimate despite the fact that they are on a rooftop in the middle of Ikebukuro. “Don’t tell Shinra.” 

Shizuo is about to ask what he means by that but stops when Izaya reaches his hand up again and places it on Shizuo’s cheek. He panics. He has no idea what he’s doing here. What if Izaya kisses him? What if he hurts Izaya? Why does that matter? It’s never mattered before now. 

He grabs Izaya’s wrist with his hand, his fingers completely enclosing it but he doesn’t tighten his hold. “Do you want this? I’m not...I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Izaya smiles in a way that makes Shizuo’s brain stop working for a few seconds. How does he do that? How does he make himself even more attractive than he already is? “You couldn’t hurt me if you tried.” 

And then he’s slipping his hand away and out of Shizuo’s grasp, his smile still in place as he continues to back away. Shizuo wants to follow him but he thinks that might be a bad idea. He doesn’t want Izaya to feel trapped. “Izaya, I…” He doesn’t know what to say. 

“Tell me later. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Except he IS. He’s running away again and that is not what Shizuo wants from this. He doesn’t even know what Izaya  _ means  _ by that. “Hey! Where are you going?” Shizuo starts moving toward Izaya as soon as he steps onto the lip of the roof again. “There isn’t a way down that—”

Izaya disappears and by the time Shizuo gets to the ledge he’s already across the road and running around a corner before he loses sight of him completely. 

“...what the hell just happened?” Shizuo sighs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what doesn't happen with these two? Anything that makes sense. This could have been confession/first kiss thing but no. Shizuo had to panic and Izaya had to run away like always. 
> 
> I hope you like the chapter and I hope everyone has a good day.


	7. Tempted

Shizuo likes to get things for Izaya. Usually it’s practical things like work socks and heated blankets that he can safely use at his desk. But sometimes he sees things that remind him of Izaya or that he thinks would look good on him.

He’s never been particularly good at thinking of gifts for his friends or family members, but with Izaya it seems to come naturally.

Recently he came across a hair clip with a black cat silhouette on it. He’d stared at it for several minutes before deciding to get it even if Izaya didn’t actually wear it. They have a growing collection of cat and cow themed items hidden away in their bedroom because Izaya doesn’t want to appear unprofessional in front of his clients.

There is a huge pile of stuffed animals that Izaya has purchased for Shizuo and he occasionally comes home to find him napping with one or two of them. Izaya’s excuse is that “Shizu-chan wasn’t here and he left these on the bed this morning.”

It is a blatant lie that he doesn’t call him out on. Shizuo hasn’t liked having stuffed animals in the bed since they got in the way when he reached to pull Izaya against him and had instead gotten a fist full of false fur. The only reason he hadn’t ripped the thing in half was because it was a gift from Izaya.

To his surprise, Izaya has started wearing the hair clip around after he takes showers in the evening. He also has a set of black cat slippers that Shizuo picked out to match the set Izaya picked out for him. But the informant refuses to wear these things when anyone else could see him. Not that Shizuo minds.

On his way back from work one day, Shizuo glances into a jewelry store and spots something he feels would look good on Izaya.

Because it is jewelry and he’s unsure whether it has a specific meaning, he asks the woman behind the counter about it. She explains what moonstone is and the meanings behind it and Shizuo likes everything he hears. It isn’t as expensive as it could be, so that’s a plus. Before he leaves she tells him that he should give it to his partner at night during a full moon and he makes a mental note to check when the next one is.

It has been a week and he’s really twitchy about giving it to him tonight. Izaya can tell but hasn’t asked about what’s wrong because this isn’t the first time that Shizuo has been excited about gifts. “Does Shizu-chan want to watch a movie?”

He glances over at the window but it’s still a bit too early to see the moon. “Yeah, sure.”

Izaya picks something foreign, it looks french but Shizuo doesn’t particularly care, and sits in his lap to make himself comfortable. Shizuo chuckles quietly and wraps the blanket that Izaya offers around both of them. “Were you cold?” he murmurs against Izaya’s neck.

“Maybe. Be quiet, I’m trying to watch the movie.”

“It hasn’t even started yet.”

Izaya scoffs, “You aren’t looking at the screen, Shizu-chan.”

“I don’t know French.”

“It’s Italian.”

“Don’t care, I don’t know Italian either.”

Izaya reaches back and tugs on a few locks of Shizuo’s hair, “Shhh, it’s starting.”

Shizuo smiles but remains silent. He entertains himself by playing with Izaya’s hair and rubbing circles around his belly button. When the movie is almost over he looks out the window and he can see the moon. “Hey, ‘zaya?”

“Mm...?” Izaya isn’t paying attention to him.

“I have something for you.”

This catches the informant’s attention and he twists around in Shizuo’s lap, stops when he has a knee on either side of Shizuo’s hips. His expression is one of open curiosity, “What is it?”

Shizuo glances down as he digs in his pocket for the armlet, his face feels hot and he’s more than aware that this whole thing is a bit silly. When he pulls it out Izaya’s eyes widen and he reaches out to touch it. “It isn’t that big of a gift, but I thought it would look good on you so…”

Izaya smiles and moves to pull his sweatshirt off. He’s wearing a red tee shirt, so his entire arm is bared to Shizuo’s eyes. “Help me put it on.”

There have been many times that Shizuo has looked at Izaya’s arms and thought that he’s probably stronger than most people his size. He’s delicate, there is no way to miss that, but he’s also almost entirely lean muscle. Shizuo likes the definition to his bicep and traces over it with his thumb after he sets the armlet just above it.

“You know this is moonstone, right?” Izaya murmurs, the softness of his voice making Shizuo look up into his eyes instead of at his arm.

Shizuo nods, “Yeah. The lady at the store told me about it. I would’ve given it to you a week ago otherwise.”

Izaya leans forward to kiss him, lingering for a few seconds before pausing to speak again, “I love it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what the armlet thing looks like: https://www.etsy.com/listing/206749050/rainbow-moonstone-armlet-arm-cuff-stone?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=&ref=sr_gallery_5
> 
> If you want to read about moonstone here is the link for that: https://crystal-cure.com/moonstone.html
> 
> Moonstone is stupidly romantic and also serves as protection for the wearer so. Yeah. It makes perfect sense for Shizuo to want to get it for Izaya. Also the band is silver so it matches his rings.
> 
> I like the thought of Shizuo spoiling Izaya apparently. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and I hope everyone has had a fantastic day!!


	8. Possessed

Shizuo has never claimed to have the best hold on his temper. He knows he gets angry at the slightest of things sometimes...more times than not. But he feels rather justified to kick the ass of anyone that interferes with his and Izaya’s chases— _dates_ are what they are but they don’t tell anyone that.

This particular time it was more that they had bad luck than either of them accidentally instigating a fight with two gangs at the same time.

Shizuo hates violence. This is only worth the effort because Izaya is here with him. That’s also the reason he hasn’t leveled the whole street yet. He’s barely got a grip on his fury when the first swing from some low-life’s bat swings at what’s _his_.

Izaya can defend himself, Shizuo knows that more than anyone else, but dammit if he doesn’t want to keep every form of danger away from him.

By the time the majority of them are downed, Izaya has his back pressed against Shizuo’s and is giggling like this is the most fun he’s had in weeks, “The is fun, right Shizu-chan? Working together feels great sometimes.”

It sounds like a joke with all that amusement laced through it, but Shizuo can almost agree that this _is_ fun. Except that it’s danger and a possessive desire to protect is all that Shizuo can feel under the anger.

“Focus, flea. We can talk after we take care of this mess.” He growls because he can’t find the restraint to humor his boyfriend right now.

Shizuo can feel the eyes of dozens of bystanders staring in awe at the display of the supposed enemies fighting together against so many at once. He does think that must seem incredible, especially considering the wreckage they have made of the city with their games.

He’s chuckling a bit when he feels his fist connect to a jaw with a distinct cracking sound. The guy drops like a sack of potatoes and Shizuo genuinely wants to laugh because there is nothing that should have drawn these idiots to attack the two most dangerous and powerful men in Ikebukuro.

When he turns around to look at Izaya he can see a mirror of the manic glee inside himself displayed on Izaya’s face. He thinks that all the time he’s spent with Izaya has driven him to pick up habits and mannerisms. It’s the same for Izaya, he’s seen it on display before. That quick tempered reaction against anyone who dares ask about Shizuo is exactly the same as how Shizuo reacts to hearing Izaya’s name on anyone else’s lips.

Izaya gives him a sideways look, one that indicates he wants Shizuo to chase him, before taking off. Shizuo keeps up easily, not throwing much because they wander through alleys and eventually end up on a roof. Izaya is on him almost instantly, dropping his coat so they have more skin to skin contact in the already stuffy heat in the air.

He’s demanding and needy with his kisses. Shizuo draws back and they are both panting, Izaya’s pupils blown wide. “I really like watching Shizu-chan fight.”

“Yeah?” They’ve had similar conversations before. Shizuo is well aware of the affect his strength has on Izaya after so many years.

Izaya nods, as if that is necessary, “Yeah.”

Something on Izaya’s arm is slick against his neck and it draws enough of Shizuo’s attention for him to notice that his forearm has a small gash in it. Shizuo narrows his eyes, “How did this happen?”

Izaya hums and draws his arm back enough for them both to look at it, “I guess I wasn’t as fast as I thought I was.”

Shizuo grabs Izaya’s wrist so he can pull the arm up to lick the cut. He’s always loved Izaya’s forearms. The amount of effort the informant has put into mastering his knives is evident in the strength in them alone.

“Shizu-chan is like a dog.” Izaya giggles, but when Shizuo meets his eyes they are soft on affection.

Shizuo drops his arm and kisses him again, long enough that he is certain Izaya won’t make another comment like that. Izaya whines a bit when Shizuo breaks contact and brings his mouth to his ear, “Mine.”

Izaya lets out a small breathless laugh and tugs on his hair to initiate another kiss, gasping “Yes” just as their lips meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh...stuff may have happened after that. I dunno what to tell you. They certainly didn't tell me anything. Anyways, this chapter has a lot going on with Izaya's strength kink and Shizuo's possessive nature and yeah. Also, woo for forearms. This was a very fun chapter to write. 
> 
> I hope you like it and I hope you had a good day.


	9. Determined

Ever since what happened on that roof Shizuo has had absolutely no idea what to do when he’s around Izaya. He’s chased him and he’s tried to ignore him only to end up constantly looking in his direction. The only reason he isn’t failing his classes is because he has Shinra and Kadota and even occasionally Izaya for notes. He can figure out what he’s supposed to do for class work just fine though. Izaya is the thing that puzzles him.

They have a few months until graduation and nothing has happened since that day. Shizuo can feel that  _ something _ is off between them but he can’t decide what exactly it is. He still throws things at Izaya with the full intention of hitting him, Izaya still pisses him off beyond reason, but there is something that’s different in the way their eyes meet for longer than they should. Shinra seems to have caught on and keeps making stupid comments, but Shizuo tends to zone out when he talks anyway so it isn’t that big of a deal.

One of the things that Shizuo is starting to notice about Izaya that makes him hate himself more than he could ever hate the other is his lips. It wasn’t a problem before he thought Izaya was going to kiss him. When he speaks Shizuo watches his mouth, when he smiles Shizuo can’t find the same irritation that was there when they first met, when he chews on his bottom lip Shizuo has to make himself look away for fear of what he might do if he doesn’t.

Thankfully Izaya is either unaware of it or keeping his taunts to himself.

There is a constant buzz of energy in the air now because of the end of year thrill that comes with being so close to freedom. Shizuo can feel it all along his spine, settling in his joints. He feels more invincible than he normally does, only happier because it’s a normal feeling this time. It’s a shared feeling with all of the others and it connects him to them.

“Is Shizu-chan thinking that he’s like a human now?”

Shizuo turns from his view of the courtyard to look at Izaya. He’s leaning against the classroom door frame, his uniform jacket nowhere in sight for once, and he’s smirking. Shizuo knows where this is likely to go and he doesn’t feel like fighting today. It’s a good day. He doesn’t want to ruin it by getting angry about something Izaya says all the time. “What?” Shizuo asks, his voice a bit distant and lacking its usual animosity.

Izaya’s lips twitch at the edges, his smirk threatening to drop because of his annoyance at Shizuo not playing along with his games, “You’re still a monster even if you are graduating along with the rest of us.”

Shizuo rolls his eyes and looks back toward the window, “I’m just happy to be getting away from you.” He doesn’t mean it and he wonders if that is somehow present in his tone because Izaya doesn’t laugh.

He can hear Izaya’s small huff and then footsteps as he walks across the room. He only turns to look at the other boy when he hears another sound of annoyance. Izaya is such a brat with how demanding he is for attention. He’s taken off guard by how close Izaya is when he glances down at him.

“Oi, what do you want?” he reaches out to shove Izaya back and away but stops when Izaya leans forward.

He’s more prepared this time, there is less panic at the back of his mind when he links his fingers with Izaya’s and pulls him closer. There is a brief moment of uncertainty that he sees in Izaya’s eyes before they close.

It isn’t a long kiss. It’s more of a test than anything, but it feels nice. Izaya goes to pull away, probably with the intention of running away, but Shizuo holds on a little tighter to his fingers. “Why did you do that?” Shizuo mumbles.

It’s possible that the others will be back soon, but he isn’t concerned about them. Not when he is getting somewhere with Izaya. Izaya looks at his feet, the ground between them apparently more interesting than Shizuo’s expression. “Shizu-chan is so annoying with his questions.” Izaya glares up at him for all of two seconds before his eyes return to the floor, “You were ignoring me.”

Shizuo laughs, “As if I could.”

Izaya’s lips scrunch into a pout and he looks up to meet Shizuo’s eyes, “I hate you.”

Shizuo smirks and reaches up to brush the thumb of his free hand against Izaya’s bottom lip. He’s leaning down with the intention of kissing him a second time when a simultaneous burst of laughter and shushing interrupts him. He and Izaya break apart instantly, but it doesn’t do any good when they have already been seen by Shinra and Kadota.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. That could have gone better, but it could have gone worse so. Too bad Shinra is never going to shut up now. 
> 
> Classes start back up this week for me so I may not be able to keep up with the pace I've had, but I'm going to try. I hope you liked the chapter and I hope you had an amazing day.


	10. Reassured

The first time they spent the night together had been an accident. It wasn’t a long time after they had graduated. It was during a break that Izaya had from work and what Shizuo assumed was college because he didn’t actually know. Izaya didn’t tell him what he did during the time they weren’t in contact.

Shizuo was working in a quiet coffee shop a few blocks away from his apartment and Izaya had walked in just before his shift ended. He didn’t know what they were after what happened in high school and Izaya seemed intent on not talking about it, but that didn’t stop him from following Shizuo home.

It’s been a bit over a year since then and Shizuo isn’t any more certain on where Izaya stands with what they are. They aren’t dating. Izaya has made that clear with the aggressive energy of someone fighting off their own feelings as much as possible.

Shizuo tries to be understanding when Izaya is a total dick when they see each other in public because it’s most likely just him being frustrated about something pertaining to work. He gets it, but he would like Izaya to recognize their relationship for what it is rather than avoiding it. They aren’t in high school anymore. There is no excuse for either of them to act like teenagers that don’t know what to do about their feelings.

Shizuo has every intention of asking Izaya about moving in together at some point. They spend nearly every private moment they have wrapped up in each other anyway. It’s the logical next step, but he doubts Izaya will see it like that.

He still gets all flustered every time he sees Izaya in his bed in the morning, yawning and complaining that he is always too comfortable when he sleeps with Shizuo. Shizuo does not see that as something to complain about and he’s pretty sure Izaya isn’t actually upset about it. He sleeps better when they are together, but it isn’t every single night and they don’t have a set schedule for seeing each other.

Sometimes he doesn’t see Izaya for a few days and he worries more than he probably should. And generally when he is worried but can do nothing about it, he gets violent. The past two days have been incredibly irritating. Some idiot had tried to rob the store he’s working at and he’d ended up fired after throwing the guy through the wall. It was an overreaction, probably, but the guy pulled a gun on a kid. He wasn’t about to just let that continue.

He’s sitting at his table contemplating whether he actually wants to smoke or eat something when his phone alerts him of a text. He assumes that it’s Celty or Shinra checking up on him after the shit day he’s had, but he is surprised to see Izaya announcing his arrival. It’s strange that Izaya is giving a warning, but maybe he’s learning to be polite.

_Yeah, right. Like that’ll happen._

Ten minutes later and there is a light tapping on his door. Izaya is smirking when the door is open wide enough for Shizuo to see him. “Miss me~?” he lilts as he skips through the doorway and into the apartment.

Shizuo doesn’t even bother answering that. Just closes the door with a bit more force than he means to and lets out a long sigh in an attempt to calm himself. When he turns around there is a bag of food in the chair he had been sitting in and Izaya is standing with his arms crossed and his ass pressed against the edge of the table. Shizuo makes a vague gesture toward the bag, “What’s that for?”

Izaya’s smirk turns into something bitter, faker than it already had been. Shizuo cannot understand how that’s even possible, “It’s dinner.”

Shizuo raises an eyebrow, “I don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t, protozoan.” Izaya is suddenly exasperated and Shizuo is completely thrown off balance, not that Izaya ever gave him anything that made sense anyway, “You don’t even know what day it is, do you? Well, I must say I’m not surprised.”

“What the heck are you talkin about?” Shizuo is beyond confused and he’s fighting not to get angry at Izaya’s tone, “What is so special about Tuesday?”

Izaya laughs and it’s manic and sharp, “It isn’t just Tuesday, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo throws his hands up, “Then what fuckin day is it? Am I unaware of some holiday that happened today?”

Izaya looks pissed, “It’s our anniversary, Shizuo.”

The use of his full name derails his attention immediately after it tried to focus on the word _anniversary_. “What? But you said we aren’t dating.” Shizuo steps forward to reach for Izaya because he isn’t going to let the other walk out without explaining himself.

Izaya ducks his head but makes no move to escape the circle of Shizuo’s arms. “That’s just in public that I said that for.” His voice is muffled by Shizuo’s shirt, but the blond can still tell that he’s embarrassed to be saying those words.

Shizuo huffs out a small laugh and reaches between them to coax Izaya to look at him, “You could have told me that instead of keeping it to yourself.”

Izaya’s nose often turns red along the bridge when he’s embarrassed and Shizuo adores it. He would never tell Izaya that he thinks his nose is cute, but he leans down to kiss the tip of it. Izaya has a small smile on his lips when Shizuo pulls back to look at him again. “Remember next year, maybe?”

“It would be easier if we lived together, probably. Just so you could remind me beforehand.” Shizuo is pretty sure he’ll remember the day regardless but now is as good a time as any to bring up the topic.

Izaya turns the brightest shade of pink Shizuo has ever seen him before he hides his face against his shirt, “Stupid Shizu-chan. You were supposed to ask that after dinner.”

Shizuo fights not to burst out laughing at how ridiculous this whole situation is but Izaya can probably feel the vibrations running through him, “Had this whole thing planned out without tellin me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's funny that Izaya decides things on his own and then somehow expects Shizuo to catch on without having any way of knowing. Shizuo gets to give kisses though so it's all good in the end. 
> 
> I hope you like the chapter and forgive me for not putting one up yesterday. Alot of stuff happened. I hope everyone had a good day yesterday as well as today!! :)


	11. Preoccupied

They have a few hours to kill before their next dance class and Izaya talked about wanting to visit a café that Shizuo was unfamiliar with. It’s when they get there that he understands why the name seemed so odd for a café.

It’s a cat café.

Shizuo wasn’t expecting this.

That’s probably what Izaya was hoping for, knowing him. What Shizuo can’t figure out is why Izaya gives him that look when he pays attention to the cats. Not just one in particular, but any of them. It’s like Izaya expects him to ignore the animals even though that is why people go to places like this.

After a while of the informant silently pouting every time a new cat comes to pile in Shizuo’s lap, Shizuo decides that he wants to know what’s wrong with him. “…‘zaya?”

Izaya hums and looks at him like he has been betrayed, “What is it, Shizu-chan?”

“Why are you pouting?”

Izaya tilts his head, crimson eyes narrowing into slits even as he smiles sweetly, “What do you mean? I’m not pouting.”

The only feline left in the entire place that is not currently on top of Shizuo is a small black kitten that is playing with a feather toy on the opposite side of the room. When Izaya shifts uncomfortably because Shizuo is staring at him the kitten turns its attention to Izaya’s fingers. The rings there are catching the light from the window behind them and reflecting it onto the floor beside Izaya’s boots.

The kitten trots over to Izaya and promptly latches onto the hand offered to it. Little teeth sink into an index finger while tiny claws dig into a wrist. Izaya flinches a bit but otherwise doesn’t move to detach the animal. Shizuo reaches over to scratch behind the kitten’s ears and it instantly lets go.

Some of the women in the room call to the cats to let them know they have treats and they promptly abandon their resting place, but Shizuo pays absolutely no attention to them. He’s too busy focusing on the small red marks on Izaya’s finger and the inside of his wrist. “It doesn’t hurt or anything, if that’s what you are worried about.” Izaya is actually smiling as he says this, something he hasn’t done since they arrived.

Shizuo doesn’t say anything. He pulls Izaya’s arm closer and rubs his thumb against the veins under porcelain skin. He has expressed his adoration for Izaya’s wrists before, but being in a public place where he can’t kiss them or hold them how he wants to makes him wish they could go home early. He isn’t sure why Izaya insisted on coming out at all when they could have enjoyed a few hours of—

“Shizu-chan.” Izaya sounds exasperated.

“Mm, what?”

“I’ve said your name three times, what are you thinking about that’s so important?” Shizuo glances up into Izaya’s eyes. The annoyance in the informant’s voice is completely fabricated. He’s just happy that Shizuo is giving all of his attention to him again. Izaya is so ridiculous. Jealous of  _ cats _ , of all things.

Shizuo smirks, “I’ll show you when we get home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izaya is so strange. He wants every bit of Shizuo's attention, but takes him to a place filled with small animals. What did he think was going to happen? 
> 
> Hurray for college taking up all of my free time. I tried to start this yesterday in a ridiculous attempt to try to be ahead, but that didn't work out. But anyway. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you had a good day!


	12. Engrossed

Izaya has taken to painting his toenails. He changes the color variations on a regular basis and Shizuo is distracted by them on a regular basis. He didn’t even know that he could find that attractive, but apparently he can and does. He learns something new about himself all the time with Izaya.

And it’s always  _ only _ Izaya. Always has been and always will be. Izaya tells him he just doesn’t pay enough attention, but he doesn’t need to look at anyone else when Izaya is the best thing he’s ever gonna see. Not that he’s going to constantly stress that to Izaya. The guy already has enough of an ego for six people.

He’s staring at the other’s toes again instead of watching the news, not that he would be particularly interested in that anyway. Unless Kasuka suddenly has some interview he doesn’t know about, the news is only going to manage to piss him off if he pays too much attention to it. So he chooses to watch Izaya or read or text with Celty. 

Izaya glares at him if he spends too much time on his phone sometimes, which is hypocritical considering the amount of time Izaya is on his phones or computers.

Izaya’s nails are a deep blue this time and they keep drawing Shizuo’s eye because of the faint sparkle the lights cast on them. The informant is sitting further away from him than usual because he wanted to take away the temptation of Shizuo grabbing at him while he painted his toenails.

Shizuo grumbled about that because it’s only happened _one_ _time_ , it isn’t like he’d make that mistake twice. He likes sleeping in the bed without worrying about a knife stabbing him in the neck in the middle of the night.

“Are they dry yet?” Shizuo mumbles.

Izaya sighs dramatically but doesn’t look away from the television screen, “Shizu-chan is impatient.”

“Am not.”

“Then what would you call it?”

Shizuo considers what he wants to say for a moment. Izaya seems to be in a good mood, but maybe he’s overestimating the teasing. It wouldn’t be the first time. The tilt of his head implies curiosity and he doesn’t have his arms crossed. He looks relaxed so Shizuo feels comfortable with pushing his luck. “Bored.”

Izaya glances over at him briefly, “There are things to do other than me, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo raises an eyebrow at that. All he was looking for was cuddling, but apparently that’s not what the informant has in mind. “Is that a challenge?” Shizuo growls.

Izaya mutes the television and turns his body to face Shizuo, “It wasn’t meant as one, but if that’s how you want to take it.”

Shizuo doesn’t like it when Izaya does that with his legs. It’s distracting. “Something that isn’t an electronic or a book.” Shizuo smirks, knowing that there is very little else.

Izaya tilts his head in consideration, his eyes sliding past Shizuo and landing where they keep board games, “We have games that you could play.”

“Those require more than one person, dumbass.” Shizuo counters.

Izaya leans further back into the cushions to throw his head back so he can see over the back of the couch, his legs spreading wider and Shizuo knows that is on purpose, “You could practice writing.”

“What reason would I have for something useless like that?”

Izaya looks back at him, making no move to close his damn legs at all, “Because your handwriting is dreadful.”

Shizuo reaches out and grabs Izaya’s ankle and yanks him sideways. “Wanna insult me again, flea?”

Izaya giggles, a little breathless from the abruptness of Shizuo’s movement but otherwise unaffected, “Always. You make it too easy, Shizu-chan. So easily worked up over something so small~.”

“Yeah well, you’re fuckin tiny so no wonder.”

Shizuo lets go of Izaya’s ankle and reaches for the bottle of water he has on the coffee table. He’s distracted mid-reach when Izaya pulls his knees back toward his chest. Shizuo glares at him but Izaya’s eyes are back on the television in an attempt to seem unaware of the view he’s giving to his boyfriend. “Close your fuckin legs.”

Crimson eyes slide back to meet with gold, “No.” he reaches out with one hand to tug on the edge of Shizuo’s shirt, “I thought Shizu-chan might like to cuddle.”

“Fuck you.”

He giggles and it goes straight to Shizuo’s head, “Please do.”

Well. Shizuo would be stupid not to take up  _ that _ offer. Unfortunately they forgot that it is a workday for Izaya. They are both getting into it and Izaya is letting out a prolonged moan just as the front door opens. Namie stops and makes a disgusted noise before turning around and leaving abruptly. Shizuo can hear her grumble “I’m not paid enough for this.” just before the door clicks closed. It’s not really enough of a distraction to make them stop, but Shizuo does have the presence of mind to pick Izaya up and carry him to their bedroom. Just in case. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They were just gonna cuddle but Izaya was doing stuff with his legs and Shizuo cannot resist that ass. Especially when Izaya is basically waving it in his face.
> 
> I had fun with this. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do and I hope everyone had a lovely day.


	13. Troubled

It’s a normal morning, the exact same as each one this week. Shizuo and Izaya got out of bed at the same time to get ready for the day. Shizuo has an early shift at the café he’s currently working in and Izaya has someone he’s meeting with for work. That’s what he said anyway.

Shizuo normally watches Izaya wander around the room in a state of half-dressed distraction for a while but it’s different to be getting dressed beside him. The fact that Izaya could catch him staring doesn’t deter him though. Izaya already has a pair of dark jeans on, with the edge of his boxers barely visible over the waistband, but Shizuo’s eyes are drawn to the slant of his shoulders.

He always notices the way that Izaya’s muscles move so smoothly anyway, but when he’s this close during a process that he isn’t usually present for it is even more apparent. He reaches over to run his hand across Izaya’s shoulders and Izaya shivers and shrugs off his hand. “I have to go to work, I can’t get distracted.”

“I know. I wasn’t gonna do anything.”

Izaya finishes pulling his shirt on and tilts his head back so he can look at Shizuo’s face, “What time does your shift end today?”

“A little after 4, I think. Unless they need me to stay longer than that.”

Izaya nods and turns around to pull one of his coats off of its hanger, “I should be done around then. I can pick up dinner and meet you back here.”

Shizuo quickly buttons his shirt the rest of the way up and follows after Izaya. He’s worried, Izaya never responds well to him asking if he needs help but he asks anyways. “Is that meeting really going to run that long? Do you need me there?”

Izaya pulls out a cell phone and types something into it on his way to the front door, Shizuo trailing behind him, “I don’t need help, Shizu-chan. I deal with this sort of thing all the time and I’m not helpless.”

“I  _ know _ that,” Shizuo growls, “I’m not insulting you. Even I need help sometimes.”

“Only when you are bleeding out from a gunshot wound.” Izaya pauses and turns around, “Not even then, actually. You can still manage to get up and walk to Shinra’s on your own.”

He shakes his head, trying to dislodge the anger bubbling up underneath the concern, “What did you want me to do? And whose fault was it that I got shot, huh?”

“You can deal with one gang on your own.” Izaya rolls his eyes, “I have to go, Shizu-chan. I’ll see you later.” Despite the argument, Izaya still pulls Shizuo into a kiss before disappearing through the door.

Most days Shizuo looks forward to the possibility of Izaya showing up randomly at the café. He has done it more times than the blond has the patience for, always demanding that Shizuo be the one to make his drink and remake it when it’s too sweet. But today Izaya doesn’t come to bother him. He feels bad about getting frustrated this morning.

He doesn’t usually express his concern for Izaya’s safety, but he has a bad feeling. It persists for the entire day. When he has about an hour before his shift ends, he texts Izaya just to make sure he’s alright. The answer he receives is vague and unsatisfying.

The feeling of wrongness doesn’t go away and Shizuo decides that he’s going to seek Izaya out rather than waiting for him at home. It might be nothing, he might be worried for no reason, but he has to make sure. If something were to happen to Izaya…

Shizuo wanders farther than he intends to, his body moving on autopilot from years of chasing after the flea, and stops when he sees raven hair and a fur trimmed coat. Izaya  _ looks _ at ease, but the guy he’s with is shaking and Shizuo knows from experience that fear drives people to stupid decisions.

He isn’t close enough to hear their conversation, but the man is getting more and more agitated. Izaya is smiling amiably at him when he reaches for something behind his back. Shizuo doesn’t consciously recognize what is happening before his body moves. All that goes through his mind in the following seconds is the need to protect Izaya and in order for him to do that the gun needs to be somewhere other than in the man’s hands.

He feels something connect with his shoulder as soon as he gets in between them. The gun shatters in one hand while the other crushes the wrist holding it. The guy screams but Shizuo ignores him.

Izaya’s expression is mostly surprise but Shizuo doesn’t have the patience to pick through what is hidden underneath. He grabs Izaya’s hand and pulls him along. He ignores Izaya’s protests as he speeds up, adrenaline still pumping through his veins and blocking out everything but the need to get away, to protect.

Shizuo stops in an alley after what he thinks is several blocks. He turns around and shoves Izaya back against the wall, his hand not tangled in black fabric breaks away chunks of brick but he doesn’t care, “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Izaya scowls at him, “I was working. You interrupted a meeting with a client.”

Shizuo shoves his hand further into the wall and he feels something off about his shoulder but the thought is gone as soon as it comes, “He had a  _ gun _ , Izaya. Were you thinking that was for show? That your little toothpick would stand up to that?”

“I could have handled that on my own. I didn’t need your help.”

Shizuo growls, the wall threatens to cave in under the pressure his fist is putting on it, “Dammit Izaya! You could have died. Did that not occur to you?”

“I have dealt with worse situations before, Shizu-chan.” Izaya shoves at Shizuo’s chest ineffectually, “I’m not helpless.”

Shizuo lets out a very long breath, hoping that that will calm him a bit. When that doesn’t work he pulls Izaya forward and wraps his arms around him. “I’ve never called you helpless, ‘zaya. But if—” he stops when Izaya hugs him back, “If something happened to you.”

Izaya shakes his head and looks up to meet his eyes, “Nothing is going to happen to me.”

“You can’t promise that.” Shizuo touches his forehead to Izaya’s, “If I lost you, if something happened to you, I wouldn’t know what to do. I can’t…please.”

Izaya brings his hands up and places them on Shizuo’s cheeks, “Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise. I know what I’m doing. And if I  _ really  _ needed help then I would make sure I was able to get away.” Izaya’s eyes narrow and he glances at one of his hands, “You’re bleeding.” 

“What?” 

Izaya pulls his hands away from Shizuo’s face and sidesteps so he can see Shizuo’s back. “You  _ are  _ bleeding. We need to get to Shinra.” 

As Izaya leads him out of the alleyway by the hand, he finds himself watching his shoulders again. Unlike this morning Izaya is breathing quickly. It could be from running, but they didn’t run that far and Shizuo isn’t out of breath so he doesn’t think that’s what this is. “Izaya.” 

Izaya doesn’t even turn around, “What?” 

“I’m alright, you know. It doesn’t hurt.” 

His shoulders tense up before he lets out a small sigh, “Good. Now shut up, Shizu-chan talks too much.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo is fine, by the way. In case anyone was worried about him. Izaya knows he's fine, but he's still panicking a bit despite that. Shizuo is a huge worrywart. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and I hope everyone had a fantastic day!!


	14. Attached

Shizuo hasn’t been home in a little over a week. Kasuka is off filming in America and Tom insisted that Shizuo take a vacation because of all the damages he has caused recently. Izaya didn’t go with him because he said he had too much work that needed to be done. Shizuo didn’t want to take a vacation, but Kasuka agreed with Tom and asked him to come spend time with him so he couldn’t say no.

A week isn’t all that long, but Shizuo doesn’t like to be away from Izaya even for a few days if he can help it. He’d been in a consistently bad mood for the entirety of his visit except for the times when Kasuka was able to talk to him. Texting Izaya is never the same as seeing him, but at least Izaya was attentive and insisted on talking as much as possible. It had mostly consisted of teasing and embarrassing images that he wasn’t comfortable with seeing in public though.

Finally back in Japan, Shizuo takes the quickest route home. It is just after three by the time he walks through the apartment door into complete silence.

He slips his shoes off and slowly makes his way up the stairs. Their bedroom door is cracked and there is a dim light coming from Izaya’s side of the bed. Shizuo closes the door and drops his bag at the end of the bed before crawling up to lay behind Izaya and wrap his arms around his waist. “I’m home.” He whispers into soft black hair.

“Mm…” the informant’s breathing is slow, he must have been asleep or near it, “welcome back.”

“Did I wake you?”

Izaya threads his fingers into Shizuo’s, “No, I was waiting for you.”

Shizuo presses his lips to the juncture between Izaya’s neck and his ear. Izaya’s breath catches and he arches his back into Shizuo, “Did you have a good vacation?”

“I guess it was alright, but I didn’t want to leave you.” he pulls their linked hands around so he can kiss Izaya’s fingers. Shizuo loves Izaya’s fingers. He loves the skin where his rings usually sit because of how sensitive it is there. The informant shivers when his lips slide along his fingers and Shizuo pulls him closer with his other arm.

Izaya sighs contentedly, “Shizuo.”

“Yeah?”

“I missed you.” It’s barely a whisper but Shizuo hears it despite that.

He stops kissing Izaya’s fingers and sits up enough to slip under the comforter. He doesn’t try to get Izaya to turn around to face him because he knows how embarrassed he must be from saying that. He wraps his arms more firmly around Izaya’s middle and kisses his jaw, “I missed you too, ‘zaya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like the thought of Izaya missing Shizuo when he's gone enough to actually tell him that. But he's still shy about admitting it so he can never say it loud. 
> 
> I hope you like it and I hope your day was amazing. :)


	15. Attracted

They spent nearly the entire day out in the streets of Ikebukuro fighting yesterday and hours awake burning off steam throughout the night when they finally got home. Early in the morning—Shizuo thinks it was close to 4—Izaya texted Namie to tell her not to come in for work. She responded that he could have waited to text her that later in the day instead of waking her up. Shizuo didn’t have the patience to let Izaya text her back before pulling him back to him.

It’s nearing noon and they still haven’t been able to bring themselves to get out of bed or untangle their bodies. It’s rare, but they occasionally find themselves wanting to spend the day cuddling. On these days they are lazy and slow and attached to each other.

Sometimes Izaya has the foresight to plan ahead, but because they were out being distracted by each other all day and night, he didn’t have time.

Shizuo is lying on his back and Izaya is straddling his waist with his head on his chest. They have a blanket wrapped around them and Shizuo is massaging Izaya’s thighs. The evidence of his love for them is present in the marks and bites and bruises all over them.

Shizuo feels more than hears Izaya’s stomach growl, “Should we order something to eat?”

Izaya shifts his hips and Shizuo grips his thighs a little bit harder to let him know he’s teasing too much, “I suppose I could ask Celty to bring Russia Sushi over.” He doesn’t sound particularly into the idea.

“We probably have something in the fridge.”

Izaya leans up enough to run his fingers through Shizuo’s hair and lazily kisses him, “I don’t want to move.”

Shizuo chuckles quietly, “I can carry you.”

“Only if you bring the blanket and we can lie on the couch.”

“Do you want to at least put on pants first?” 

Izaya smirks, “Not really.” 

Shizuo humors him because he doesn’t really mind walking around the apartment naked anyway. It isn’t like anyone can see them and they are going to be wrapped in a blanket so even if someone could look inside they wouldn’t be seeing much. “Hold on to me.” 

He thinks Izaya likes being carried a bit too much, but he weighs next to nothing and Shizuo doesn’t mind. Especially when he gets to carry him in a way that leaves his hands able to grip his thighs or ass. Izaya wiggles around after Shizuo steps off the staircase, “Shizu-chan likes my thighs too much.” 

“Probably.” Admittedly teasing the flea while walking around with him attached to his front isn’t the best idea. Izaya is vengeful and he makes it hard to walk when he moves around like this. “Stop moving so much.” 

“You won’t drop me.” 

“No, but I might do something else with you if you don’t quit moving like that.” 

Izaya giggles and Shizuo is tempted to anyway, but he does stop moving. When they make it to the kitchen Izaya picks up random things that they can eat on the couch along with a few water bottles. “I think we have some leftover rice in the fridge?” Shizuo offers. 

The informant hums and tugs the refrigerator door open. Shizuo watches Izaya’s face light up when he sees that they have sushi, specifically otoro. He pulls that out and places it in the space between them before kissing Shizuo briefly on the cheek, “Thank you~.”

Shizuo smiles and turns around to walk to the couch. “I texted Celty before we got home last night to ask if she could drop some off, just in case.” 

Once they are seated and comfortable on the couch Izaya flips through some channels on the television before turning it off again, unsatisfied with the lack of good movies and unwilling to get up to look for one. 

“Do you want me to carry you over there too?” Shizuo asks curiously. 

Izaya shakes his head and wraps his arms around Shizuo’s neck, “Shizu-chan is more entertaining than movies.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They don't listen to me. I just want a cuddle chapter that does not involve other things. Apparently that is too much to ask of them. They're cute though, so it's alright. 
> 
> I hope you like the chapter. It was supposed to go up yesterday but I didn't finish it until this morning because I had homework. I hope you have a good day!!


	16. Enamored

_ “Brother? I need a favor.” _

Shizuo doesn’t like to tell Kasuka no. He doesn’t actually remember doing so more than a few times in his lifetime. But never for a favor as easy as watching his cat. 

He didn’t talk to Izaya about it in advance. He’d been waiting for the opportune moment to bring it up and before he knew it, it was the day before Kasuka was coming over to drop Yuigadokusonmaru off.

“Uh...Izaya?” Shizuo calls from the kitchen where he is making dinner.

Izaya strolls into the room and leans against the counter beside him, “Yes?”

“Kasuka wants me to cat sit for him tomorrow.”

Shizuo intentionally does not meet Izaya’s eyes. He can sense the irritation that the informant is trying hard to hide, “It’s unlike Kasuka-kun to give such short notice.”

This is an intentional jab at him and he knows it. He should have told Izaya immediately, regardless of his mood. “I did mean to tell you before now.” Shizuo sighs and turns the stovetop off before looking at Izaya, “I just wanted to do it when you weren’t busy.”

“I’m always busy, Shizu-chan.”

It’s unsurprising that Izaya is still in the apartment when Kasuka leaves his cat. Shizuo is pretty sure that this is a territorial thing that cats do, and because Izaya is basically a cat he isn’t really surprised by all the prolonged sighs and annoyed glances. 

Shizuo choses to ignore him. Which, in retrospect, isn’t the best idea. Izaya doesn’t like to be ignored. Especially by Shizuo. He’s known that since high school, but apparently Izaya doesn’t feel the need to grow up. 

He’s lucky that Shizuo thinks it’s cute. 

When the cat inevitably falls asleep, Shizuo glances over at Izaya because he has been quiet since they put a movie in. The informant is bundled up in the blanket that Shizuo wrapped him in and he’s pouting. “What is your problem? I don’t understand why you get like this around cats.” 

Izaya’s eyes flash in annoyance but he doesn’t move out of his cocoon of warmth, “I don’t know what Shizu-chan is implying. I actually  _ like  _ cats, thank you very much.” 

“You don’t act like it.” 

“Just because you don’t understand why I do something doesn’t mean whatever assumption you make is right.” 

“Doesn’t mean I’m wrong either though. Especially when you avoid answering me.” 

Izaya’s ears are under the edge of the blanket that he has pulled over his head and Shizuo leans over to pull it down so he can see the red that he’s trying to hide. Izaya is aware of the blush that reaches his ears, Shizuo is sure of that, but he acts like it isn’t present as he glares up at Shizuo. “I’m cold, don’t do that.” 

Izaya tries to burrow deeper into the mass of material but Shizuo wraps his arms around where he knows his waist is and starts nibbling at the shell of his ear. Izaya squirms in an attempt to slip away but even with the casual hold that Shizuo has he is unable to break away. “You’re  _ jealous _ .” 

The informant stops squirming instantly, “I am not. I’m  _ bored _ .” 

“Then why didn’t you get up to do something hours ago instead of watching a movie and demanding that I wrap you up like this?” He sits up and drags Izaya into his lap. 

Izaya looks really cute when he pouts like this, but Shizuo isn’t going to tell him that because it would be used against him. Anything Izaya can use for more attention is a weapon that Shizuo doesn’t want to give to him. He already has a hard enough time keeping his hands and eyes to himself. 

Instead of answering him immediately, Izaya nuzzles against his neck and sighs. “Because it’s warmer like this.” 

“You’re so demanding, kitten.” 

Izaya pulls back and his face is a brilliant red, “What did you just call me?” 

Shizuo grins, “Kitten.” 

“How did you—why did you call me that?”

“How did I what?”

“That isn’t what I asked. Why did you call me that?” 

“Because,” Shizuo shrugs, “you remind me of a kitten when you act like this.” 

Izaya stares at him with wide eyes for a few seconds before squirming. Shizuo thinks he’s trying to escape his grasp but then Izaya’s hands are free and he’s covering his face with them. “I can’t believe you.” 

Shizuo chuckles and pulls Izaya’s hands away. He leans forward and kisses his nose, “Also because you’re cute.” 

More shifting but he doesn’t let go of Izaya’s hands so he can’t do much more than try to distract Shizuo. And that won’t work right now because he’s too focused on Izaya to look at anything else. 

Until he feels something furry touching his neck. Izaya glares past him. “Go away. Shizu-chan is mine.” Izaya hisses. 

Shizuo laughs, “You’re  _ exactly  _ like a cat. You have my attention all the time, what is it about small animals that makes you so irritable?” 

Izaya frowns, “Because you look at them like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like they are the most important thing to you at that moment. I don’t like it.” 

Shizuo shakes his head and smiles at him, “Are you comparing how I look at you to how I look at them? It isn’t the same, you know. Sure I think they’re cute, but they aren’t the most important thing to me. You are the most important thing in my life.” 

Izaya shakes his head and burrows into Shizuo’s shoulder, “You’re so embarrassing.” 

“Only because you get so flustered about it, ‘zaya.” Shizuo kisses Izaya’s ear and pulls him closer while he reaches back to pat Yuigadokusonmaru on the head. 

Apparently Izaya can tell because he tugs on Shizuo’s sleeve and links their fingers. Shizuo goes with it because it’s cute and the cat has proceeded to climb on top of his head anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo calling Izaya kitten is really cute, in my opinion. Dunno how all of you feel about it, but I think Izaya behaves exactly like a cat. He's so finicky and possessive and jealous and just. It's funny, really. 
> 
> I apologize for not putting this up yesterday. I had a lot going on with things and yeah. It didn't happen unfortunately. I'll get to work on the next one right away!! I hope everyone had a good day today and yesterday and that everything is going well in your lives. :)


	17. Distracted

Izaya is a very ticklish person. Shizuo likes to use this to his advantage. 

Shizuo himself isn’t remotely ticklish, so Izaya can’t get him back in the same way. Generally he works to get revenge through having Shizuo get things for him. Which is completely unfair, but Shizuo isn’t going to complain because he would get things for Izaya regardless. Or he sends lewd pictures of himself in the middle of the day. That certainly catches Shizuo’s attention, but they both get pleasure from that so it isn’t the same. 

Izaya’s thighs are especially sensitive, and that is normally where Shizuo focuses, but occasionally he finds new spots to pay attention to. 

Tonight he finds a new spot along Izaya’s jaw while they are in the bath. At first he doesn’t notice Izaya’s shifting, it isn’t odd for him to snuggle back against Shizuo’s chest in the bath, but then Izaya  _ keeps  _ shifting. 

He recognizes the shudder that runs through Izaya’s spine a moment later. He takes a minute to assess what he is touching that might be tickling the informant. His hands are wrapped around Izaya’s waist, but that wouldn’t be doing it. His legs aren’t rubbing against Izaya’s too much, so that can’t be it either. He hums against Izaya’s jaw and smirks when he feels another shudder. 

“Stop that.” Izaya whines. 

Shizuo nuzzles the line of his jaw and Izaya sucks in a breath to fight the giggle that wants to escape, “No. Why would I stop?” 

“Because it tickles. Shizu-chan is so meeean.” 

“Mm, maybe you shouldn’t tease me so much. I’d probably listen.” 

Izaya squirms when Shizuo reaches to stroke his fingers along his thigh, “Stoooop it, I don’t do that to you.” 

Shizuo chuckles, “That’s because I’m not ticklish. You’ve tried to, remember?” 

Izaya turns around and his cheeks are puffed out slightly from his pouting, “You are so mean to me.” 

“Am not. You like teasing.” 

“Maybe. But I don’t like tickling.” Izaya crosses his arms and soap bubbles spread up his chest in the process, “There are lots of other ways of teasing.” 

Shizuo smirks, “Yeah. I know. I just prefer this to that because that leads into other things too quickly.” 

Izaya blushes at that and moves to climb out of the tub but Shizuo pulls him back to him, “Come on, don’t leave. I’m not finished with your hair yet.” 

Izaya glances over his shoulder with a suspicious look on his face, “Only if you promise to stop tickling me. Or I will leave and I’ll go to bed without you.” 

Shizuo nods, “Alright, I promise. No more tickling.” Izaya didn’t say for how long though. He really should be more specific. But Shizuo doesn’t want to jeopardize Izaya snuggling up to him before falling asleep, so for now he’ll stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apparently have a thing for making Izaya blush. Shizuo is super good at it and I love them so much, my gosh. They're so cute. I'm the one writing the stuff and I just. I cannot handle them. 
> 
> I hope you like the chapter. Also lets pretend that I got this up yesterday. Because it's still technically the correct day in some places. Yeah. Anyway!! I hope you had a lovely day.


	18. Enchanted

Nothing is perfect. 

They get along, but there are times when they argue. They argue about Izaya’s safety and his job more than anything else. Shizuo gets insistent and Izaya gets defensive. Shizuo knows that Izaya doesn’t mean the things he says, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. And when it hurts, it makes him angry. Being angry is never good. Shizuo doesn’t want to hurt Izaya, under any circumstances. 

Normally smoking a cigarette—or several—calms him down, but that didn’t work this time. He can’t stay in the apartment. He has to put distance between himself and Izaya. Maybe beat up the next person that looks at him funny, maybe just take a peaceful walk around the building, but he can’t stay. 

Izaya is glaring at him, his eyes bright even when narrowed into slits, “Where are you going?” 

“Out.” Shizuo doesn’t have the patience or the self-control to explain himself as he slams the door behind him. 

He nearly breaks the button on the elevator and then it takes too long to come up. The stairs are better anyway. Less chance of running into some unfortunate asshole in an enclosed space. 

When he finally makes it out of the building he starts walking in a random direction, lighting a cigarette as he does and growling under his breath about something Izaya said. 

Shizuo  _ knows  _ that Izaya can protect himself, but his job isn’t exactly legal. It isn’t a topic of discussion all the time. But Shizuo was in a bad mood when he got home and Izaya had been more aggressive in his teasing and had less patience than usual. It was just a chain reaction of irritation and eventually anger, with none of the usual signs of one of them giving in first. 

He runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath, counting the number of steps he takes in an attempt to force the anger away. Izaya is too good at getting him worked up, too good at pressing his weak points, but he doesn’t want to hurt him. 

Shizuo hates his strength even though he knows it’s what drew Izaya to him. It’s uncontrollable and primal and he hates that he can’t force it into something manageable. Admittedly, he has had far less trouble with it since high school with Izaya as a way to blow off steam in one way or another, but that doesn’t make it any better that it is something that remains a problem. 

_ I don’t need you. _

He freezes as he remembers the venom in Izaya’s voice as he said this. It hurts him deeply whenever Izaya says it, even though he knows it’s true. Izaya  _ doesn’t  _ need him. He’d be completely fine on his own. 

Shizuo on the other hand...Shizuo knows that he wouldn’t ever be the same. He’s never considered breaking things off with Izaya. He cares too much about him and knows that he couldn’t handle being apart from him for any length of time. Izaya would be safe from Shizuo if they weren’t together, but Shizuo is too selfish to do that. He doesn’t want to leave Izaya alone and unprotected. He doesn’t want to think about anyone else holding Izaya through the night. He doesn’t want to picture someone else kissing Izaya, let alone touching him. 

If Shizuo wasn’t around, would Izaya be safer? Would he be happier? Would he have someone who wasn’t a  _ monster _ like Shizuo? 

Shizuo flinches when ash falls onto his hand. He pulls out the envelope he keeps in his pocket and puts the extinguished cigarette into it. His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out expecting a text from Izaya. It’s the alarm he set as a reminder that he needs to tell Izaya about a dinner Celty and Shinra want them to attend with them. 

When he turns around to see how far he traveled he sees that he actually walked the circumference of their apartment building. Even distracted and angry he doesn’t put much distance between them. It’s probably a subconscious instinct. Izaya would tease him for ‘protecting his mate’ but Shizuo honestly doesn’t care. If his strength is good for anything, it’s protecting Izaya. 

He doesn’t knock on the door when he makes it to their floor, and he’s surprised to find the door unlocked as if Izaya didn’t throw a fit and lock him out. He shrugs it off as Izaya not expecting him to be gone long, and it hasn’t really been  _ that  _ long as it is. An hour and a half isn’t so bad for taking a walk to calm down. 

When he clicks the door closed he hears something that sounds suspiciously like a sniffle. Izaya is hunched over his desk when Shizuo steps around the wall to see him. He doesn’t look up, his hands are clutching at the hair on his temples but how erratic his breathing is tips Shizuo off that something is wrong with him even more than that. 

“Izaya.” Shizuo calls softly, resisting the urge to approach him immediately because it’s possible that Izaya is still angry. 

When Izaya looks up Shizuo has to blink a few times to make sure he isn’t seeing things. Crimson eyes are bloodshot and swollen and there are tears still streaming from them, despite the furious way that Izaya rubs at his face. The informant doesn’t say anything as Shizuo quietly makes his way across the room toward him. 

Instead of pulling him out of the chair, Shizuo leans down and cups Izaya’s cheek in his hand. “What’s wrong?” 

Izaya shakes his head and sobs. The sound pulls at Shizuo’s heart and he doesn’t know what happened but he wants to get rid of whoever hurt Izaya like this. When Izaya reaches forward to wrap his arms around Shizuo’s neck he goes willingly, wrapping his own arms around Izaya’s waist in response. 

They’re quiet for a while, Shizuo waiting for Izaya to do something, for him to calm down enough to tell him what happened or just to calm down enough to stop crying. 

This is not the first time that Izaya has cried in Shizuo’s presence, but it’s the first time it has happened—that he knows of—when he wasn’t around. At least since they started dating. He believes that it is likely that Izaya cried a lot as a child, but he has never asked. They rarely talk about Izaya’s childhood or his parents, for good reason. The twins come to bother them sometimes, but they aren’t really a nuisance in Shizuo’s opinion until they talk about Kasuka.

It is several minutes before Izaya is calm enough to pull back so he can look Shizuo in the eyes. Shizuo adores Izaya’s eyes. The rest of his face is rarely as expressive as that brilliant crimson. He has often been reminded of rubies when he stares at them. He’s even described them as such on accident to Celty once. Luckily Shinra wasn’t around or that could have turned into an annoyance rather than an embarrassment to him and his headless best friend. His embarrassment was unwarranted, he’d only been talking about his boyfriend’s eyes, but he rarely talks to Celty about his adoration for things about Izaya. It feels too private. 

When Izaya speaks after another minute of staring into Shizuo’s eyes, his voice is raspy and edging on hoarse, “I thought you were leaving.” 

Shizuo’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, “Leaving? Why would I do that?” 

Izaya rubs at his eyes again, “You were really mad and you left so…” his voice dies down at the end before he takes a shuddering breath of air. 

“I needed to go outside for air. I didn’t want to hurt you.” Shizuo kisses the edge of Izaya’s left eye, “I didn’t know you would misunderstand or I would have explained myself better. I’m sorry.”

Izaya shakes his head violently, “I didn’t...I didn’t mean what I said.” 

Shizuo smiles and kisses Izaya’s temple, “It was the truth though. You don’t  _ need  _ me.” 

Tears start to fall from Izaya’s eyes again, “No. I think I do. I can’t...imagine not having you here every day and every night. I can’t think about what it would be like not to have you around me all the time because it hurts too much to consider that—”

“I will not leave you, ‘zaya. I couldn’t even if I tried to.” Shizuo grins and wipes away the tears falling from Izaya’s eyes with the pads of his thumbs, “You’re stuck with me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had this idea for this thing. And this is the result of said thing. Also Ketsu happened and this was a coping mechanism. Izaya is so cute. Shizuo is so concerned. Even when they argue it's all fine. Seriously. 
> 
> Hey guys, guess what?? Consistency. Anyways~ I hope you like it and I hope you had a fantastic day!!


	19. Charmed

Shizuo has been wanting to have a party for Izaya’s birthday for years. The only real reason it hasn’t happened before is because the informant always manages to distract him too much for him to make any plans. Luckily he remembered ahead of time to ask Celty for her assistance because this year is no different. 

Namie mentioned in passing to him a few months ago that Izaya got really grumpy when Shinra didn’t invite him over to a hotpot party and that gave him the idea. Not specifically hotpot, but that having a dinner party could make Izaya feel like more people care about him. 

He filled out invites with Izaya last week. They only invited Kadota, Celty and Shinra, Namie and Varona, and Tom. Kasuka and Ruri are out of the country and unable to get away otherwise they would be coming as well. It isn’t meant to be a large party, just a dinner with some of the people they know the best. Izaya tried to insist that he wanted Shiki and Akabayashi to get invites but Shizuo adamantly opposed bringing the Awakusu executives into their apartment for anything other than work. He doesn’t care if the two men basically act as weird father figures for the two of them, they are still yakuza. 

Akabayashi did send over a gift for Izaya, however. Shizuo peaked at it and chuckled at the man’s sense of humor. 

On the morning of Izaya’s birthday the two of them go out to buy everything they need to make hotpot and drop by Russia Sushi because Simon told Izaya he would give him birthday sushi and Izaya wasn’t about to pass that up. 

Shizuo tells Izaya that he can make everything, but Izaya pesters him and pouts about wanting to spend the day how he wants and that what he wants is to make food with Shizuo. So they end up making a mess and getting distracted making out and almost burn some things, but by the time Celty and Shinra show up—early because Shizuo asked Celty to pick some things up—everything is cleaned up and set out.

Namie, Varona, and Tom arrive at the same time followed by Kadota a few minutes later. 

Dinner passes in a blur of teasing, laughing, and snark before they all move into the living room to relax. The gifts that everyone brought--Celty and Shinra had individual gifts, Kadota brought four and explained that the rest of his gang had insisted on getting their own gifts for Izaya even if they weren’t invited, Varona had something she claimed was from both her and Namie despite Namie’s blatant refusal to admit it, and Tom’s reasonably sized box that was obviously chocolate--are stacked on a table for Shizuo and Izaya to open in private after everyone leaves. 

Shinra and Izaya are arguing back and forth about something that Shizuo isn’t paying much attention to until Izaya makes a jab at Shinra’s lack of a sex life and Celty’s shadows block whatever argument Shinra is about to make to the contrary. After a few minutes of Izaya’s laughter and Shinra’s muffled protests that he would  _ never  _ share that intimate information with the informant, Celty cautiously releases him. 

“Not everyone has that kind of time, Orihara-kun.” Shinra states in that shrill tone of his. 

Shizuo can see from the smirk on Izaya’s face that this will continue if he doesn’t intervene and he does not feel like sitting through yet another exchange of horrible sex jokes from either party. “Izaya?” Shizuo murmurs next to Izaya’s ear. 

He turns to look at him and Shizuo reaches up to smooth his hair back from his forehead. Izaya closes his eyes and leans his head back, all but purring in appreciation before he realizes what he is doing. Shizuo kisses him on the furrow that appears in between his eyebrows and whispers something that he knows will turn his cheeks a lovely shade of pink. 

He is not disappointed. Izaya’s face immediately darkens before he stands up abruptly and climbs the stairs to go hide in their bedroom. Shizuo grins when everyone gives him curious looks, “He really likes it when I play with his hair. He’s fine.” 

It’s only another half hour before Namie drags Varona home, expressing her displeasure at being dragged to the hellhole that she spends her workdays in. Shizuo waves to them as they disappear through the entryway. Kadota speaks up, “I should probably get going before the others make a mess of the city.” 

Celty and Shinra stay to help Shizuo clean everything up. “Don’t let Orihara-kun hide in his cave forever!” Shinra calls from the elevator as Shizuo stands in the doorway with Celty. 

[Do you think Izaya is alright?] Celty asks. 

Shizuo nods, smiling, “I just embarrassed him. He’ll be fine. I’m about to go check on him.” 

Celty takes a moment to think on this and then she nods and types out a short [Goodnight, Shizuo] before walking over to get in the elevator with Shinra. 

When he opens the door to peek in at Izaya he finds him wrapped up in their comforter like a butterfly in a chrysalis. He closes the door and climbs into bed to burrow under the blanket with him, ignoring mumbled protests and claims of hatred. His cheeks are still red when Shizuo comes face to face with him. 

He smiles softly, feeling an intense urge to kiss both of Izaya’s beautiful cheeks but refraining from doing so because he knows Izaya’s pride is hurting, “Sorry for embarrassing you.” 

Izaya’s lips pull into a forced pout and he huffs, “Shizu-chan is mean. It’s my birthday. Couldn’t you refrain from being embarrassing for one day?” 

Shizuo’s smile spreads wider and he’s almost laughing with how happy he is because Izaya is adorable, “I guess not.” 

“Rude.” Izaya’s pout has melted into a small smile, “But I suppose the rest of the day makes up for it.” He slides his fingers into Shizuo’s hair and leans forward to kiss him, “Thank you for today.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for cute birthday dinner parties with everyone!! Namie isn't exactly the best party guest, but she came because Varona insisted and she can't really say no to her. And poor Izaya is always being embarrassed by Shizuo. Oops. 
> 
> I hope you like it and I hope you had a great day!! :)


	20. Enthralled

Shizuo has a fascination with Izaya’s teeth. It isn’t so much that he watches them as they catch his attention at the oddest times. Like when Izaya flashes a smile over his shoulder while Shizuo chases him through the city, or when he bites his bottom lip when Shizuo does something that he  _ really  _ likes, or when he stuffs an entire piece of sushi into his mouth, or when he practically moans Shizuo’s name in public before taking off in the direction of their apartment. 

There are too many examples for Shizuo to count. 

More than just how they look is how they feel when Izaya bites at his skin, never breaking through but having enough pressure to leave red marks that will fade by morning. Or how they feel against his fingers when Izaya teases him, or the sharp lines of them that bite into his lips in irritation when he takes too long. 

Today he is distracted by them in the brightness of the smile that Izaya directs at him. He is talking about going to the beach for the day. “It isn’t too hot and you have the day off, so I think it’ll be fun.” Izaya all but sings. 

“I thought you hated the beach?” Shizuo asks in mild confusion. 

Raven hair falls to the side when the informant tilts his head in consideration, “I don’t hate it. I just don’t like to go with a large group of people.” 

Shizuo remembers in high school when Shinra tried to convince him, Izaya, and Kadota to go to the beach with him so that Celty would have a reason to go. Izaya had been adamantly opposed to the idea. They had all gone in the end, but most of his day was spent chasing a grumpy flea. He didn’t remember exactly the excuse that he had made up for why Izaya had been grumpy, but now he knows the actual reason. 

“That makes sense, I suppose.” Shizuo pushes his hair back out of his eyes, “I do prefer to have you all to myself.” 

Izaya clicks his tongue at him, “We’ll be in public, Shizu-chan. You have to behave yourself.” 

“We won’t be around anyone that knows us. It’ll be fine. It isn’t like I’ll do anything inappropriate to you with other people around.” 

The informant giggles lightly and skips forward until his chest bumps against Shizuo’s, a delicate hand coming up with the pinky stuck out, “Promise you won’t?” 

Shizuo links their pinkies and wraps his other arm around Izaya’s waist, “I promise.” 

They pack a bag with the things they need and take a train after making sure to lock the door behind them. The trip to their chosen destination doesn’t take long and the trains aren’t packed full of people like Shizuo half expected. They change out of their clothes in a restroom near the beach and are a little surprised to find a section of sand that is unoccupied. 

“I guess it’s a bit cold for most people.” Shizuo remarks while he spreads out a towel for them to lie on. 

Izaya shakes his head, “It’s because of what time of day it is. Most don’t have the day off either.” 

When Izaya sprawls over the towel he just put out, Shizuo reaches over to poke his stomach, “Sit up, brat. I have to put sunscreen on you.” 

The informant whines but sits up anyway. Shizuo sits behind him and thoroughly covers his back and arms before picking Izaya up and sitting him in his lap, facing him. Izaya’s eyes widen and he looks around, as if there is someone watching them instead of enjoying their day. “Will you relax? I’m just putting sunscreen on you.” 

Izaya wiggles around a bit, his cheeks faintly pink but that could be from the sun, “I’m perfectly relaxed, Shizu-chan. I was just surprised.” 

He hums his acknowledgement, but doesn’t comment on the fact that he knows what Izaya is like. He’d rather not be bitten right now. “Close your eyes.” He murmurs when he finishes with everywhere except for his face. 

Izaya glares wearily at him, “What are you going to do?” 

Shizuo holds up his hands so he can see the sunscreen on them, “I’m gonna put sunscreen on your face. Unless you want to get burnt on your nose?” 

There is a slight shake of his head and then delicate eyelids close in submission, “I don’t want to get burned. I hate that. I don’t want to get skin cancer.” 

Shizuo chuckles at the childish tone Izaya has taken on as he gently runs his fingers all along his face. When he is satisfied that he hasn’t missed any spots he leans back, pulling Izaya down with him so that he is laying on his chest, “I’m done, you can open your eyes now.” 

Izaya shifts his hips a bit, pressing them against Shizuo’s, “Don’t wanna.” 

He smiles and runs his fingers through Izaya’s hair. He’s tempted to kiss him, but he promised to behave in public so he won’t. “Are you comfortable?” He asks instead. 

A slight nod, not enough movement to disturb the motion of Shizuo’s hand in his hair, “Shizu-chan is warmer than the sun.” 

Shizuo raises an eyebrow and laughs quietly, “I think the sun is much hotter than I am, ‘zaya.” 

Izaya sits up enough to prop his chin on his arm, the fingers of his other hand drawing randomly on Shizuo’s skin as a counterpoint of contact to how Shizuo’s fingers run through raven locks, “If you want to take that literally then fine, but I meant the sun from where we are laying is not warmer against me than you are.” 

“I can’t disagree with you on that, I guess.” 

Izaya grins triumphantly and Shizuo is momentarily distracted by his sharp canines, again tempted to kiss him despite their location. “Would you rather I say that you are like the sun?” 

Shizuo shakes his head, “If you mean capable of destroying everything, then yeah.” 

Izaya’s grin softens into a look of adoration, “You make my days brighter. You keep me warm and you make me happy every time I see you or think about you.” He slows the touch of his fingers into a caress, “Shizu-chan is my own, personal sun.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beach fluff is cute, right? Izaya was being awfully nice in this chapter. I do wonder if that means he was trying to get something or if he was just in a really good mood from Shizuo throwing a birthday party for him. If this is after that. Which it could be. Who knows? Not me~
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. I actually was really in the mood for writing so I might finish up the next one and try to get it up faster?? Can't really promise that it will be, but y'know. Anyway! I hope you had a lovely day and that everything is going well for you with whatever you are doing.


	21. Bewitched

Shizuo woke up earlier than Izaya this morning. He was up until nearly sunrise and Shizuo wants to make breakfast for him. He doesn’t often have a chance to, so he goes all out with it. When he’s almost finished and considering going upstairs to wake Izaya, he hears the shower start up.

Izaya can be grumpy if something wakes him up, but usually he is a morning person—after he’s had his first cup of coffee. Shizuo likes to make coffee for him before he leaves for work, having learned exactly how to make it in a way that Izaya likes after all those times the informant stopped by the cafés Shizuo worked in. Shizuo has developed a level of tolerance for bitterness in his drinks, but he still prefers to add some sugar or cream to coffee.

When he is finished with cooking breakfast, he starts a pot of coffee and goes upstairs. Izaya is lounging on their bed in a pair of black boxers and one of Shizuo’s work shirts, unbuttoned and spread out on either side of him as he reads. His hair is still damp and clings to his temples and forehead, but Shizuo’s gaze is drawn downward.

There is a dark bruise along his hip that is very clearly from a bite, only half concealed under the waistband of his boxers. But the delicate outline of his ribs is unmarked and tempting.

Shizuo shakes his head slightly, pushing away from the door and approaching the bed to catch Izaya’s attention, “I made breakfast.”

The informant outright  _ ignores  _ him. Shizuo narrows his eyes in annoyance and then smirks. He finishes crossing the room and climbs onto the bed to settle between Izaya’s legs, his mouth instantly drawn to the expanse of unbruised skin covering his ribs. Izaya breathes in sharply at the unexpected contact and covers his face with the book when he lets out a small moan.

“Shizu-chan, stop it!” Izaya shoves weakly at Shizuo’s hair but he barely feels it. He’s too busy paying attention to the skin between his teeth and the small shudders running through delicate ribs. “It’s too early!” It’s a whine this time and Shizuo can’t help the laugh that escapes.

He releases Izaya’s skin, satisfied with the bruise that is starting to form and kisses the red mark gently. He’s not going to apologize for it, he just likes kissing him. Shizuo hums as he looks up and grins at Izaya’s flushed cheeks, “Maybe you shouldn’t ignore me.”

Izaya opens his mouth, probably to argue, but Shizuo cuts him off with another kiss on his sternum. “I thought you said you made breakfast.” Izaya mumbles, trying unsuccessfully to wiggle closer to Shizuo for an actual kiss.

“Ah, you did hear me.” Shizuo bites lightly at his collarbone and then his jaw, “Should’ve put that book down.”

Izaya shudders when Shizuo runs his lips along his throat, “It’s for work, I was going to put it down after I finished the page.”

Shizuo shakes his head, his nose rubbing against the underside of Izaya’s jaw, “You always say that. It’s one page and then suddenly it’s a hundred.”

He kisses behind Izaya’s ear and Izaya’s legs squeeze him closer, a small shudder running throughout his whole body. “That’s not fair! It isn’t—” he breaks off when Shizuo bites his shoulder, carefully and where the skin will be hidden by his shirt, “it isn’t always like that. I meant it this time.”

“Sure you did.” Shizuo sits up, pulling Izaya up with him, “Come on, it’ll get cold. I also started some coffee.”

He doesn’t wait for a response and climbs out of bed to go downstairs to actually start on the cup of coffee he’s going to make for Izaya. He stops when he feels a small tug on his sweatpants and half turns so he can look back at the informant to see the pout on his lips. “What is it? I’m gonna make coffee for you, did you want to do it yourself?”

Izaya shakes his head and glares at Shizuo. “You teased me.”

“You ignored me.” Shizuo counters.

Izaya steps forward and pulls on Shizuo’s hair to make him lean down a bit. He kisses him lightly on the lips and releases him with a smirk, “Good morning, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo blinks a few times in surprise but then remembers that he didn’t give Izaya a good morning kiss yet because he was awake first and made breakfast. He wraps his arm around Izaya’s waist and runs a hand through his hair as he kisses him back. When he breaks away he smiles, “Good morning, Izaya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo really is super sweet, okay. He just also doesn't like to be ignored. It's perfect, really. Because neither does Izaya. Also, they are both pretty into biting. Dunno if I'd made that clear before this or not?? Izaya has a bite kink along with the strength one and a bit of a bruise one too, honestly. If it's from Shizuo, basically, he's totally into it. 
> 
> I haven't been able to make breakfast for anyone in a long time, but I love doing it. Maybe in a few years. That's the hope anyways. Making breakfast for friends is wonderful. Anyway~ I hope you like it. You are all amazing and I hope you've had a lovely day.


	22. Surrounded

“Shizu-chan?”

Shizuo glances up from the book he is reading to see Izaya standing before him with a box of hair dye. Ever since they started living together Izaya has insisted on dyeing Shizuo’s hair. He doesn’t know if it’s because the informant likes doing it or if it’s because he feels like Shizuo never does a good enough job at it, but he always insists on helping. Shizuo doesn’t mind, of course. He likes every minute of time he can spend with Izaya.

However, he’s a bit surprised this time because the color on the box is not the usual warm gold. It’s lighter than he has ever gone. He raises an eyebrow at Izaya, “Did you want to try something new?”

Izaya shrugs, a small smile pulling at the edges of his mouth and excitement dancing in his eyes, “I want to see what you’ll look like with it a little lighter than normal. We can darken it if it looks strange.”

Usually he would question this, expecting some kind of trick or teasing for him just going along with it, but the enthusiasm that Izaya is showing is different from that. “Okay. Do you want to do it right now?”

Izaya nods. 

Once everything is set out and ready in the bathroom, the informant wraps a towel around Shizuo’s shoulders and gently works the color through his hair. Shizuo is used to the slight tingle on his scalp and ignores it. He’s enjoying the feeling of Izaya’s fingers in his hair when he opens his eyes to watch his face.

Right in front of him is Izaya’s neck and collarbones.

Normally he sits still for the entire process, but he can tell that Izaya is just playing with his hair now so he doesn’t see any harm in it. At first all he does is lightly kiss the base of Izaya’s neck, but when Izaya doesn’t complain and tell him to sit still he feels like it’s safe to do it again. And then a few more times.

When he lingers a bit longer than necessary, Izaya leans forward and Shizuo’s hands bump against a flat stomach.

Shizuo smiles against Izaya’s skin and slides his hands along the hem of the tee shirt Izaya is wearing. Izaya stops running his glove covered fingers through Shizuo’s hair and reaches to the side to look at the box. He hears the little beeps of Izaya typing in an alarm on his phone. “It has to sit in for a few more minutes.” He murmurs. His voice sounds slightly strained, like he’s trying to hide the smile that Shizuo knows is on his face from the attention. 

Shizuo hums and rubs the pad of his thumb across the skin above Izaya’s belly button. He feels the small stutter in his breathing, the thrum of surprise under his touch. Despite what the informant might say, Shizuo knows that his body is incredibly sensitive. He is especially fond of Izaya’s stomach. Izaya has a strong stomach, the muscles are defined enough that Shizuo can feel them as he takes a breath, but it isn’t obvious just by looking at him. Especially with clothes in the way.

Their dance classes have been incredible for flexibility, but even more than that they have helped with body control and core strength. It’s clearer in Izaya because he does a lot of the more involved parts of their routines. Shizuo does all of the lifting and holding, but Izaya is the one that has to hold his muscles a certain way. Shizuo would never drop him--he weighs essentially nothing to Shizuo anyway—but the moves require control to look graceful and Izaya has always valued fluidity in his movements.

Shizuo doesn’t always take the time to touch and feel Izaya’s stomach. He’s usually distracted by something else before he can focus on it. Even now he is almost completely distracted by the shift of Izaya’s hips—so near to his hands that he could grab them to hold Izaya still—and the slight backward tilt of his head that is baring his throat to Shizuo’s kisses.

He’s careful not to press too hard, aware of the fragility of the skin under his hands as he feels Izaya’s inhales. Izaya shivers a bit when Shizuo slides one of his hands up, dragging the shirt out of the way so that the material isn’t obscuring his view or Izaya’s scent. He wraps his other hand around the back of Izaya’s thigh and coaxes his knee up to rest on his hip. 

Shizuo has his arms around Izaya’s waist, the informant’s shirt removed and in a pile on the floor, his lips pressed to the skin of quivering abs when the alarm startles them both. Izaya fumbles a bit while Shizuo holds him in his lap, trying to remember what they set an alarm for. “I need to wash the dye out of your hair.” 

It had completely slipped his mind what they were doing before his attention gravitated to Izaya’s body. That happens a lot. “I forgot we were doing that.” Shizuo mumbles. 

Izaya giggles and pushes his head back, “That’s why I set an alarm.” 

When his hair has been thoroughly rinsed and Izaya finishes blow drying it, he takes a step back and tilts his head in consideration before tugging Shizuo up and over to the mirror. “I like it.” The informant is smiling, his eyes sparkling like rubies. “What do you think?” 

Shizuo’s gaze drifts from Izaya’s reflection to his own. It’s a bit lighter than usual. Pale gold to contrast with the liquid gold of his eyes. He is indifferent to the change, but he’s pleased that Izaya seems to like it. “It looks good.” 

Izaya’s smile widens and he nods, “I thought you would look good like this.” His expression changes a bit as he reaches to run his fingers through it again, Shizuo’s hands instantly reaching toward delicate hips and holding him close as he does so, “I just hope you don’t get more attention than me now. You look too much like a model like this.” 

Shizuo laughs at the absurdity of that, “Everyone knows who I am, Izaya.” 

“Everyone knows who I am too, but that doesn’t mean they won’t notice that you are attractive.” Izaya’s lips are scrunched up in a slight pout. 

Shizuo leans down and kisses him, “You worry about the strangest things.” 

Izaya huffs and tugs on the hair at the back of his neck, “I’m not worried.” His expression pulls into a familiar smirk, “You’re mine and I’m yours. There’s nothing to worry about.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like thinking about Izaya dyeing Shizuo's hair, oops. Just anything domestic with these two is super cute though, so this isn't a surprise. 
> 
> I've had a really busy few days, forgive me. I'm writing the next chapter now and I'll put it up when I finish it to make up for the weekend. I hope you like it and I hope you are all doing fantastic!!


	23. Frustrated

Mairu and Kururi visit them sometimes. It isn’t very often because Izaya doesn’t appreciate their humor, but he doesn’t always lock them out either. Shizuo thinks it’s possible that they are bribing him with something, but he doesn’t know for sure because he’s never seen evidence of it.

Normally he's fine with it. They only get on his nerves when they talk about Kasuka. Most of the time. Today is an exception. For whatever reason, the twins have decided to play with Izaya’s hair. They've placed numerous hair clips and pulled locks into tiny pony tails and all it's managing to do is piss Shizuo off.

It isn't because he doesn't like it when Izaya wears things like that. He looks cute like that. It's because Izaya is letting the twins do it without complaining. If Shizuo does it then all he gets are complaints.

The three of them are on the other side of the couch--another thing that annoys Shizuo is the distance that they have deliberately placed between him and Izaya--with the twins sitting on the couch behind the informant, who is sitting on the floor with his legs crossed. There is something on the television but Shizuo hasn’t had the self-control in at least an hour to pay attention to it without glaring at the happy dancing animals. He doesn’t even know what the hell it is, but he hasn’t said anything. He refuses to let the twins know that he’s irritated with them beyond what they can see on his face. Which they have deliberately ignored for the entirety of their hold over Izaya’s hair.

“Iza-nii looks so good with butterflies in his hair, don’t you think Kuru-nee?” Mairu chirps.

Shizuo can see the slight bob of Kururi’s head in agreement, “...looks…good.”

He’s tempted to pick them up by their ridiculous jackets and toss them out in the hall, but he hasn’t quite worked up the nerve to do that. Izaya will probably tease him for losing his patience with the girls faster than usual.

Mairu bounces on her knees excitedly, jostling Shizuo even from her perch on the opposite end of the couch, “Shizuo-nii-san look! Doesn’t he look cute?” Mairu sounds far too excited for her own good.

The first time Mairu and Kururi referred to him as ‘Shizuo-nii-san’ it was in the middle of a park in Ikebukuro and neither Shizuo nor Izaya knew how to respond to it. They weren’t supposed to know that they were dating, let alone jump straight into referring to him as a family member. Now they don’t even flinch. They’ve heard it too many times to react to it anymore.

He doesn’t waste time glancing over at them because he can see them from his peripheral. He keeps his eyes leveled on the television screen instead, “Fleas aren’t cute.” He growls.

It’s meant to get Izaya riled up and it does exactly that. “What do you mean by that Shizu-chan? Aren’t you always commenting on how cute I am?”

“You’re imagining things.” He knows he’s being grumpy because he’s jealous. It’s obvious in every way. To him and the informant at least. Maybe not to the twins. They don’t pay enough attention to anything outside of their games and each other to notice stuff like that.

Izaya stands up abruptly and sits right against his side. He still doesn’t look away from the stupid cartoon. “Shizu-chan.” Izaya murmurs. The twins are holding hands and talking to each other in whispers and Shizuo is extremely suspicious about whatever it is that they are plotting. “Shizu-chan, look at me.” Izaya is pouting about being ignored.

“What.” Shizuo barely turns his head before Izaya is leaning forward and staring at him with his eyes narrowed slightly.

He really does look cute like this. Though it’s a bit much. The girls went overboard with the clips and he has eight too many pony tails. Which is all of them. Shizuo likes when Izaya only wears one or two of the clips that he’s given to him as gifts. But he won’t do that with other people around and suddenly Shizuo is very irritated.

“What are we watching?” He barks by way of distracting Izaya from the angry expression that he knows is on his face.

Izaya doesn’t look away when he answers, “It’s Kururi’s favorite show from when she was little.”

Shizuo grits his teeth for half a second before reaching for the cup he has on the coffee table. He’s bringing it up to his lips when there is movement to his left, behind Izaya. Something bright and sparkly is shoved onto the top of Izaya’s head.

Shizuo can’t take it anymore.

The cup in his hand shatters and he stands up to stomp the few steps it takes for him to catch up to the girls. They are cowering at the edge of the stairway, clutching each other. He can tell it’s fake because of the stupid mirth in Mairu’s eyes. It’s erased by frustration the instant he lifts the two of them by their hoods and leans over the side of the couch to snatch their bags up on the way to the door. “I didn’t mean it!” Mairu screeches, “I promise I won’t do it again!”

That is an outright lie. She’s done this twice before. He doesn’t respond as he twists the doorknob and walks straight to the elevator.

“But Iza-nii is your princess, Shizuo-nii-san!” She’s still screeching in protest but at least she isn’t wriggling around and jostling her sister, “Especially with the way you f—”

Shizuo drops them unceremoniously into the elevator and crushes his finger into the down arrow and then the ‘close door’ button before backing out of the elevator.

Izaya is smirking when he gets back into the apartment and slams the door shut. He’s still wearing that thing. Shizuo growls and rips it off the top of his head, still with enough care not to grab any of the hair sticking up in pony tails because he doesn’t want to hurt the flea. He’s just annoyed and frustrated.

“Shizu-chan.” Izaya sounds like he is on the verge of laughing, “Are you jealous?”

“Shut the hell up, louse.” Shizuo grumbles.

Izaya grows quiet as Shizuo sits back down on the couch and starts helping him remove the mess of objects from his hair. When they are finished and everything is in a pile on the coffee table, Izaya climbs into his lap and snuggles against him while Shizuo runs his fingers through his hair to make sure they didn’t accidentally forget anything.

“I like it when you touch my hair.” Izaya mumbles, his breath warm against the side of Shizuo’s neck.

Shizuo kisses him lightly on top of his head, “I don’t like it when other people touch your hair.”

He can tell that Izaya is smiling when he feels soft lips against his jaw, “It isn’t the same.”

When Izaya sits up in his lap, Shizuo can see that he’s serious. “Only you are allowed to touch my hair whenever you want to.”

Shizuo nearly chokes on the laugh that comes out. Maybe the informant wasn’t so serious. He isn’t laughing though. He’s rigid in Shizuo’s lap. He sobers up quickly, wraps his arms around Izaya’s waist and kisses his forehead, “Only me?”

He feels Izaya nod slightly under his lips, “Only Shizu-chan.”

He sighs, letting the tension from the past two hours slip out of his shoulders while he concentrates on the feeling of holding Izaya in his arms. “I’m sorry for getting jealous of your sisters.”

Izaya’s fingers find their way into his hair, soothing away the remaining irritation, “I should have ignored them and not let them in. We could have had a nice evening relaxing and cuddling on the couch.” His voice is soft and Shizuo pulls him closer.

“We still can, if you want to.” Shizuo mumbles into the hair on top of Izaya’s head.

Izaya laughs softly, “I kind of want to take a bath and lay in bed actually.”

Shizuo smiles, holding Izaya close to him and picking him up easily as he stands, “That’s what we’ll do then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo is so cute when he's jealous. The twins have no self-control at all and he cannot deal with them touching Izaya's hair, I guess. He's possessive in the oddest ways. 
> 
> This is longer than I expected it to be?? And I could have kept going. But it's late and I wanted to get it up before the day is over so here you go!! I hope you like it and I hope you had a lovely day.


	24. Pleased

Izaya doesn’t like winter. He gets cold easily and his immune system isn’t the best when he isn’t careful enough. Which is the main reason for all the coats that he has. Dozens of the things line the closet. Shizuo has lost count of how many there are. Most of them look very similar and have the same color scheme, but there are some that Shizuo has no idea what sort of situation would call for them. 

Despite Izaya’s dislike for the cold, he likes to go out with Shizuo in Shinjuku for hot chocolate and coffee at a small cafe that’s only a few blocks from the apartment building. 

“We don’t have to go tonight, y’know.” Shizuo says when he looks out the window at the slight flurry of snow, “It’s really cold right now.” 

Izaya steps up beside him in a coat that hides his entire body, the only part of his skin visible is his face, “We’ll be fine. We haven’t gone out in a while and it’s less busy right now because of the weather.” 

Shizuo smiles and shakes his head, “You’re going to be cold, even in that thing.” 

Izaya’s lips pull into a pout and he burrows his face into the scarf that Shizuo can see peeking up from under the collar, “No I won’t. We should go before it starts actually snowing though.” 

“I could make something for you.” Shizuo offers as he follows Izaya to the door, “What if you get sick from going out tonight?” 

Izaya laughs quietly while he slips on his boots, “I guess Shizu-chan will just have to keep me warm.” 

Shizuo can hear the teasing in his voice and he reaches forward to ruffle his hair, pushing the hood back a bit in the process, “I can’t keep you warm when you won’t let me touch you in public.” 

“I wouldn’t be so strict if you would only hold my hand like you  _ say  _ you’re going to do.” The informant’s cheeks are red as he tugs the hood back into place, “And we aren’t known in Shinjuku like we are in Ikebukuro.” 

“So...are you alright with me holding your hand on the walk there and back?” Shizuo thinks Izaya might tease him for how hopeful he sounds. It isn’t very often that he’s allowed to do that. They hold hands in the apartment, but almost never in public regardless of where they are. He feels lucky to have the freedom to touch Izaya so much in their dance classes, even if it’s all in a set routine. Tom has laughed at him when he’s complained about wanting to hold his boyfriend’s hand but always being unable to or he’ll be stabbed. 

That has happened at least three times in the last month and a half. 

Izaya looks down at his feet to make sure that they are both ready to go before reaching out for Shizuo’s hand and narrowing his eyes. He’s such a paradox when he does this sort of thing. All those soft black lines and white fur are a sharp contrast to his bright crimson eyes and his dangerous expressions. “You’re only allowed to hold my hand. Nothing else unless I say so.” 

Shizuo feels like this warning is unnecessary. No one is going to know who he is while they walk down the street. Both of them have their hair covered, Izaya’s by his hood and Shizuo’s by a blue knitted hat that Izaya gifted to him a few weeks ago, and Izaya’s figure is hidden underneath layers of dark material. They’ll likely be ignored by everyone they walk past. It’s cold and windy and Shizuo is convinced that everyone will be too focused on where they are going to stare at them.

Shizuo pulls Izaya’s hand up to his lips and kisses his knuckles, “I promise that I’ll behave myself until we get back home.” 

He means it and he knows Izaya can tell because he looks flustered before he turns around and leads Shizuo out into the hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo is so cute, omg. He just wants to hold Izaya's hand. That's adorable. Granted, Izaya knows that that will open up other things if he isn't careful. But who cares about that?? Shizuo's holding his hand and it's so cute and yay domestic fluff all over the place. Also Izaya really likes taking Shizuo out to cafes apparently. Which is sort of nostalgic for them as a couple because Shizuo has worked in several and Izaya came in to bug him all the time. 
> 
> Anyway!! So I've been busy with some life things that hopefully will never happen ever again. That would be nice if that would happen. But! I wrote this and I thought I'd put it up since I should have gotten something up yesterday if not for certain things. The next chapter may be sort of longer if I can focus on it. I hope you like this and I really do hope you are all doing amazing and that you're happy and comfortable.


	25. Dedicated

Of course Izaya ends up sick. Shizuo expected it, though he had hoped that it wouldn’t happen because he doesn’t like when Izaya is uncomfortable. 

The informant is particularly whiny when he’s sick. Shizuo doesn’t mind that so much because he understands that something is wrong, but because Shizuo himself doesn’t get sick he never knows exactly what to do. 

In fact, the first time that Izaya was sick enough to demand that Shizuo stay home to take care of him, he had panicked and called Shinra. He’d thought Izaya was dying and it had taken a lot to convince him otherwise because of how abnormally hot Izaya’s skin was. Izaya doesn’t get hot like that unless he’s in a very different position and Shizuo knew for a fact that that wasn’t why it was happening. 

He has learned not to panic since then and asks Izaya for specifics on what is aching, takes his temperature, and gives him the right medication based on what Izaya tells him. It’s the weekend and Tom told him it was unnecessary to try to come in because of how cold it is, so he can spend the entire day taking care of his sick boyfriend. 

“Shizu-chaaaaan.” Izaya whines loudly from their bedroom. Shizuo is in the kitchen making tea for him in the hope that it will help with his sore throat and of course the informant chooses to make it worse by being overly loud. 

“I’m almost done, hang on. You shouldn’t talk so loud, you’ll hurt yourself.” He checks to make sure the cup isn’t hot and picks it up to bring with him into their room. 

“You’re so slow though.” Izaya grumbles and tries to sit up before Shizuo gently pushes him back into the pillows. 

“Shinra said to keep you in bed so that’s what I’m gonna do.” He hands the cup to Izaya and sits at the edge of the bed, “Do you still feel hot?” 

Izaya shrugs and sets the cup on the table beside him, “I wouldn’t be able to tell.” 

Shizuo raises an eyebrow and leans forward to touch his forehead to Izaya’s, “You don’t need to be a brat to get attention, y’know.” 

“It catches your attention so much faster than anything else though.” 

He doesn’t even bother responding to that and pulls back when he’s satisfied that the informant doesn’t have a fever anymore, “The medicine is working. Does your throat still hurt?” 

Izaya pouts at the subject change, but nods anyway. “It feels a bit better because of the tea.” 

“That’s good.” Shizuo brushes Izaya’s hair back out of his eyes, “You need a haircut.” 

“Do you want to do it?” He looks up curiously, crimson eyes bright with excitement. 

“Is that an offer?” 

Izaya’s cheeks have been red for most of the morning, but Shizuo can tell that it’s a blush this time, “I liked how you cut it last time, so...you could do it again if you want to.” 

Shizuo nods and starts to stand up, “It’s been awhile since you tried to eat. Will you be alright with rice? Or do you want soup this time?” 

He feels slim fingers grab his wrist and he settles back where he was sitting on the bed so Izaya won’t have to strain himself. “Can you sit here for a minute?” Izaya asks quietly. It’s one of the only times he’s actually kept his voice down all day. 

_ His throat must hurt. _

“Have you been using the cough drops Celty dropped off?” Shizuo glances at the table and sees only one opened wrapper. In the small trash bin under the table there is something that looks suspiciously like the missing cough drop. “Shinra said those would help.”

Izaya shakes his head and his lips pull together into another pout, “They’re disgusting. Shinra must have picked the worst ones he could find.” 

He rolls his eyes, “Knowing Shinra, that’s probably what he did. But also, because he doesn’t want me to break his spine, they probably do work.” Shizuo runs his fingers through Izaya’s hair, a bit distracted by the way his eyelids flutter closed, “Do you want me to tell Shinra to send over some that taste better?” 

Izaya sighs and opens his eyes, “No. I’ll deal with these because he’ll charge me for both out of spite.” 

“He won’t if he doesn’t want me to kick his ass.” Shizuo is about to say something else when Izaya’s stomach grumbles loudly. He frowns, “I need to make lunch for you.” 

“Fine,” the informant releases his grip on his wrist, “but if you take too long I’m going to get out of bed and make something myself.” 

“You are not. It’s only going to be a few minutes.” 

When the rice is finished and he has started on the soup he hears the soft sound of feet padding down the stairs. “Izaya, you’re supposed to stay upstairs.” 

“Don’t care,” Izaya stumbles on his way through the doorway and Shizuo reaches out to catch him, one of his hands grabbing a delicate hipbone and the other reaching for his arm, “...I was bored.” his voice is breathy, like the trip down the stairs took more energy than it should have. 

“Is bored another word for lonely?” Shizuo asks as he pulls Izaya closer, completely ignoring the soup that is simmering on the stovetop. 

Izaya shakes his head, raven hair sticking up in the back from how he’s been laying, “Bored is completely different from lonely, Shizu-chan. I know you’re dense, but I thought that much was obvious.” 

Shizuo raises an eyebrow and picks Izaya up, “I meant bored and lonely in Izaya speak, not the usual uses. Bored can always translate to lonely when you use it.” 

Izaya snuggles against his chest, “I don’t know what you mean by that. I meant what I said.” Shizuo smiles when he feels him press a kiss against his jaw, “I’m  _ bored  _ when Shizu-chan isn’t around.” 

Shizuo doesn’t correct him. He knows what he means. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo is really good at reading Izaya. He might be a lying jerk that can trick almost everyone else, but he doesn't have Shizuo fooled. It could be from all the years they've spent together, or it could be because Shizuo just instinctively is amazing at things like that. Either way, they're cute. 
> 
> Izaya won't be sick for very long by the way, he's just whiny. He's lucky that he has such an wonderful boyfriend to take care of him.
> 
> Alright, so. This past week has been really challenging because life things and college. My birthday was on Monday as well. So I've been busy. I'm actually interested in writing another chapter after I post this, honestly. I'm in the mood to do it and I ACTUALLY have the time, so I should be able to. Anyway~ You are all amazing and I hope you're doing fantastic!! I should have something for you before the end of tomorrow!! :)


	26. Irritated

“Shizuo-senpai?”

Varona looks pensive when Shizuo glances over at her. “Is something wrong?”

Tom walks between them with a tired look on his face. Today hasn't been the best day, Shizuo lost his patience three times this morning and twice after lunch because people don’t know how to shut up and Varona beat up six people because they talked about her clothes. Namie bought the outfit that Varona’s wearing, so Shizuo knows why it irritated her so much. All of the activity has taken its toll on Tom. “Negative. I am in perfect health. I want to ask about Izaya-san.”

Shizuo isn’t sure what to think of that answer. Varona rarely asks about Izaya unless it’s because she wants Shizuo to get Namie out of work for her. “What about him?”

“Has Shizuo-senpai had an argument with Izaya-san recently?”

Earlier that morning, before Shizuo left the apartment, Izaya was insisting that he wear a ridiculously expensive jacket to work. Normally Shizuo would be up for it because Izaya doesn’t usually insist on him staying warm, but he refuses to wear something like that to work. Izaya was fuming when Shizuo left the apartment and he has no idea what he’s going to come back to tonight.

“You mean a serious one?” Shizuo asks instead of explaining about the minor and very childish one that they had this morning.

Varona nods, her expression thoughtful and serious, “Affirmative. When a couple has been together long enough it is normal to have disagreements. I am curious whether Shizuo-senpai and Izaya-san experience this.”

Shizuo chooses to ignore the impulse to snort. Varona isn’t joking. She wants an actual answer. “We argue about work, mostly. I want to keep him safe and he swears that he has it handled. Are you worried about Namie-san?”

A faint pink colors the woman’s cheeks at the mention of her girlfriend, “I...think that Namie and I are not the normal example of a couple. We have not had disagreements. Is this a bad thing?” She looks at Shizuo and then at Tom, expecting some form of response.

Tom smiles at her and Shizuo is relieved that he doesn’t have to say anything else because he has no idea what normal couples do, “Shizuo and Orihara-san are not a normal example of a couple either, Varona.” Shizuo growls under his breath but doesn’t interrupt because he knows that that is the truth, “The fact that you and Yagiri-san have not argued very often means that you complement and respect each other. Not that Shizuo and Orihara-san don’t,” Tom corrects himself quickly for fear of upsetting Shizuo, “they’re just different because they’ve known each other for a long time.”

Shizuo rolls his eyes, “Izaya just doesn’t know how to shut up and stop messing with people. It’s good that you and Namie-san get along.”

Varona looks between them for a long time before nodding her agreement, “I believe that I understand. Thank you very much for answering my questions.”

Tom suggests that they all go home not long after and Shizuo texts Izaya to let him know that he’s going to pick up Russia Sushi for dinner. He receives a curt “Do what you want.”

“Damn flea. It’s been an entire day.  _ I’m  _ not even angry anymore.” Shizuo grumbles to himself as he walks up to the bar to place his order.

Simon and Dennis greet him with smiles and inquiries about his health. 

After a few minutes of quiet, Simon looks around before staring intently at Shizuo’s face, “Where is Izaya? Why is he not with you?”

Shizuo shrugs and watches Dennis wrap up his orders. “He’s at home being an ass. Probably harassing some kid on the internet.”

“Sushi will make both of you happy!” Simon is smiling brightly as he hands Shizuo his to-go packages and shoos him out the door. “Tell Izaya to eat, he is too skinny.”

The rest of his trip home is uneventful, luckily. He’s tense in anticipation for what he will face by the time he gets inside the apartment. Izaya has been simmering in his frustration all day, possibly even on his computer for most of that time, so it probably won’t be pleasant.

“Izaya?” Shizuo calls from the doorway as he toes off his shoes, “I have dinner for you.”

He hears shuffling and typing, “Put it in the fridge. I’ll eat in a few minutes. I just need to finish this email first.”

There is something in his tone that sounds a bit off, but Shizuo brushes it off. It could easily be that he’s distracted. He walks over to the kitchen and sets his dinner on the counter before opening the fridge to put Izaya’s away. He freezes when he sees that there are a lot of things missing from the shelves.

ALL of the vanilla pudding and milk is missing. This is not something that Izaya has done before and Shizuo isn’t entirely sure how to respond to it. He’s angry, but it feels so childish that he can’t bring himself to yell about it yet. Of all the things Izaya could’ve done, this is one of the least offensive. Normally he would expect to find several of his work shirts ripped to shreds or with suspicious stains on them. And if Izaya were feeling particularly irritated, he’d end up with a knife thrown at him while he tried to enjoy his lunch break.

But this? He could potentially deal with this, but it’s a huge waste of groceries if it becomes a regular occurrence. “...Izaya.” Shizuo calls calmly.

“Is something wrong, Shizu-chan?” Izaya is standing with his arms crossed over his chest in the kitchen doorway.

Shizuo stares at him for a few seconds before closing the fridge and placing both of their packages on the table, “You need to eat because you're gonna need the energy.”

“Why’s that?” Izaya’s eyes sparkle with suggestion as he uncrosses his arms and settles into his chair.

Shizuo grins, “I have to get you back for throwing out perfectly good food.”

“What’re you gonna do to me? Chase me? We both know you won’t catch me unless I let you.” He plops a whole piece of sushi into his mouth and chews it slowly, a small smirk on his lips.

“That’s not what I mean.” They eat in silence for a few minutes and right when Izaya is reaching for the last piece of ootoro, Shizuo stands up and throws Izaya over his shoulder.

“Shizu—”

“You aren’t gonna get away with being an arrogant ass to me. I can’t believe you threw out that much pudding.” Izaya struggles and claws at his back as he carries him upstairs, “You are completely ridiculous. All of this over a coat?”

“It’s not just the coat, it’s the fact that you—” Izaya stops talking abruptly.

Shizuo stops at the top of the stairs and pulls Izaya down off of his shoulder so he can see his face. The informant instantly wraps his legs around his waist and tries to hide his face against Shizuo’s shoulder but he isn’t quick enough for Shizuo to miss the annoyance and embarrassment that paint his face. Those generally come together, so it could be anything. “What did I do?”

Izaya shakes his head and his breath brushes against Shizuo’s ear, “You were mad when you left and you don’t like what I got for you.”

“I didn’t say I don’t like it. I just don’t want to wear it to work. And besides, it’s too hot for me to wear a jacket.” Shizuo continues toward their bedroom and adjusts his hold on Izaya so he can open the door, “...I need a shower.”

“Do you want some company?” Izaya murmurs.

“I thought you were mad at me.”

Izaya shifts enough that he can meet Shizuo’s eyes and his hips rub distractingly against him. A shiver dances up Shizuo’s spine and he can tell that Izaya noticed because he does it again. “I wasn’t mad at you.” Izaya drawls.

“Oh? So you threw out a bunch of pudding and milk for the sake of pride?” Shizuo raises an eyebrow and Izaya grins.

“I might have. It’s bad for you anyway. You shouldn’t eat junk food so much.”

“Says the person who eats sushi all the time.”

“Sushi is perfectly healthy.”

Shizuo rolls his eyes and sets Izaya on the countertop in the bathroom so he can start the shower. “I’m pretty sure that the amount of tuna you eat isn’t healthy. You probably have mercury poisoning or something. That’s why you’re so damn crazy.”

“Shizu-chan is meeeeean.” Izaya whines as he pulls off his socks. It’s one of the pair that Shizuo bought for him a few weeks ago. They’re thicker and insulated so that the heat of Izaya’s body stays trapped in them and keeps his toes warm. He’s complained about how cold his feet get, so Shizuo finally got something to fix the problem because the informant is too stubborn to just use the heated blanket anywhere but around his upper body.

Shizuo helps Izaya remove his shirt after taking his own off, “Maybe I get it from you.”

Izaya’s cheeks puff out, “You’ve been mean since high school. That didn’t come from me.”

“I don’t remember being all that bad.” Shizuo unbuttons Izaya’s jeans and helps him pull them off, baring his legs and leaving him in just a pair of dark blue briefs, “I do remember you provoking me all the time.”

“That’s because you ignored me too much.” Izaya responds as he unclasps Shizuo’s belt and pulls his trousers off his hips, “If you had only looked at me then there wouldn’t have been any issues.”

“That’s not how school works, ‘zaya. We would have failed our classes if I did that.”

Izaya stands up and wraps his arms around Shizuo’s neck, “I would have helped you study.” he says it with such a lewd look in his eyes that Shizuo can feel his face go hot.

“That would not have fixed the problem. If anything it would have made it even harder to concentrate in class than it already was.”

Izaya slides one of his hands down Shizuo’s arm, dips his fingers into the front of his boxers along his hip bone, and draws feather-light circles into his skin. “Was I that distracting?”

“You can’t be anything but distracting.” Shizuo states, pushing Izaya’s hips back enough to pull his remaining article of clothing down. He kisses the skin above his navel before standing back up. “It was mostly because of your damn flea scent.”

“You like the way I smell.” Izaya is smirking. His cheeks are tinted and Shizuo can already tell what he’s going to do before he does it. For once, Shizuo moves faster than Izaya. He yanks his shorts down and drags the informant into the shower with him, accidentally shoving him face first into the stream of water.

He closes the glass door behind them and wraps his arms around Izaya’s waist. “I like it better when you smell like me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I genuinely thought that I would break 2k words with this chapter because, holy cow, these two can flirt. Also, I'm just gonna point out how very close to sexytimes that ending got. If I hadn't stopped then that is exactly where that would have gone. Luckily Shizuo sidetracked or it would've been more of an abrupt ending. I have no confidence with such things. Implied content, yesss. Tension I can do, suggestion I can do. But actually explicit things?? NOPE. 
> 
> Alright, enough of that. I ramble too much as it is. This one was super fun to write. I was really pleased to have Varona in the beginning because she's so cute when she talks about Namie. Eventually Namie will have cute moments. Probably. They aren't the main focus or anything so I honestly have no idea if they'll even show up again after this. I have no control over this whole situation. Shizuo and Izaya very much prove that by the end of this chapter. And in every chapter. Just. Ignore me. I hope you like it and I hope that you had a lovely day!!


	27. Anticipated

Izaya was stabbed. And Shizuo hadn’t been there, hadn’t been called, hadn’t been told not to worry about where Izaya was for the part of the night that he remained in their apartment waiting anxiously for Izaya to show up. Izaya was never out that late and even when he was going to be later than usual he would text or call Shizuo to tell him as much.

Shizuo had looked for him for hours, getting more and more distraught and eventually ended up in a fight with some punks that couldn’t keep their mouths shut. That was at some time before the sun came up. It’s nearing nine and he hasn’t slept at all.

Shizuo is storming down the street, trying desperately to calm himself so he can think clearly. Shinra called him hours ago to let him know that Izaya was in the hospital—somewhere that Shizuo  _ couldn’t _ go in the middle of the night—and told him that he would call him again when he had more information.

All he wants to do is sleep and know that Izaya is safe in his arms.

He’d seen the news coverage of the story this morning as he paced past some electronic store. All it did was further piss Shizuo off because he won’t know where to start looking for the asshole that did it until Izaya tells him who it was, if he’s even going to do that. The informant doesn’t always tell him things like that, especially if it’s a client.

Shizuo growls under his breath and checks his phone for the billionth time. He doesn’t have any messages. He’s unsurprised but it’s not remotely comforting. Izaya isn’t even awake yet probably. Shinra had said that it wasn’t a bad wound and that Izaya would heal quickly from it, but as good as that was to hear, Shizuo can’t go to the hospital to see him. No one would want to tell him anything even if he did because of how furious he is.

He doesn’t want to lose what little patience he has and destroy anything else.

He’s had a constant mantra of  _ mine mine mine mine _ running through his head for what must be hours at this point. He’s so twitchy that he almost yanks the arm of the man that accidentally gets too close to him.

“I-I’m s-sorry! I w-wasn’t paying attention! Please don’t hurt me!” the man squeaks before Shizuo releases the hold he has on his forearm. He trips over his feet in his rush to run away, but Shizuo ignores him.

He checks his phone again and it’s still telling him that he has no messages, no missed calls. It’s only been ten minutes since the last time he looked at it. Shizuo shoves his phone back into his pocket and absently runs his fingers too roughly through his hair.

“Shi-zu-o!” Simon calls to him from the other side of the road. His tone hints he knows about what happened.

Shizuo keeps walking. He knows he wouldn’t be able to hold a conversation while he’s like this. He doesn’t have a direction in mind and he ends up near the hospital again before he notices how far he’s gone.

He stops in the middle of the sidewalk. It isn’t busy here but he still can’t focus his thoughts away from his intense concern and the continuing mantra that is keeping his thoughts from turning bloody and violent. If he thinks too hard on anything else he knows he’ll go into a rampage and that wouldn’t help anyone. Least of all Izaya.

Shizuo almost jumps when his phone starts ringing. He doesn’t recognize the number but he picks it up instantly, “Izaya?” his voice comes out harsh and too fast, “Are you okay?”

There is a small sound, something that sounds like it could be a laugh, “I’m okay, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo breathes out a heavy sigh, letting his body sag against the wall next to him for a moment before tensing back up, “How bad is it?”

“They said I can leave in a few days.”

“Are you going to actually do as they tell you?”

Shizuo expects the answer he receives. “Of course not. I have no interest in sticking around a hospital when I could be at home with my monster.” Izaya sighs as if he’s exasperated, “I woke up without you this morning, can you imagine how hard that was? Seeing some disgusting nurse checking my vitals instead of your—”

“You know I wouldn’t have been allowed in there. I’m dangerous even under the best circumstances.” Shizuo states, interrupting Izaya before he says something stupid.

There is a short pause and Shizuo worries that Izaya really is upset about waking up without him. “I tried to call you for help.” Izaya’s voice has a softer edge now.

Shizuo grits his teeth, his thoughts directed at finding the person who did this, that constant mantra of  _ mine  _ starting back up for a moment before he forces himself to calm down again, “I should have been there.”

“You can’t be everywhere at once, Shizu-chan.” Izaya tells him, “I was being careless.”

“You are never  _ careless _ .” Shizuo growls.

He hears shuffling on the other end, like Izaya is shifting uncomfortably or holding the phone against himself. It takes a few moments before he hears more shuffling and then Izaya’s voice, “I wasn’t careful enough, is that better?” there is a touch of sarcasm but he sounds tired rather than irritated.

Shizuo sighs and leans his head back against the wall he’s leaning on, trying to work through the panic that’s still tearing holes in his patience. “I was worried about you.” he says instead of answering Izaya’s question.

He hears Izaya’s small intake of breath and then a quiet laugh, “Shizu-chan worries too much. It’s just a flesh wound compared to what you’ve done to me during—”

“Izaya,” Shizuo growls, “now is not the time for that.”

“I didn’t get a morning kiss yet. You should come inside.” He can hear the pout in Izaya’s voice and he wonders if he can see him from his room. 

He considers what he wants to do for a moment. He isn’t as anxious and angry as he was, though he still wants to find the person who stabbed Izaya and beat them into the ground. Or he could go inside and see Izaya, but it’s likely that the informant will tease him. 

Shizuo sighs in defeat because he already knows what he’s going to do, “I’ll see you in a minute.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This seems a tiny bit angsty. Only because Izaya is an idiot and isn't careful enough. And because Shizuo is very anxious. But it's all fine. Just normal everyday relationship things. Getting stabbed. That's totally normal. Totally. Also in the midst of all of this is Shizuo's way of calming himself by thinking about how Izaya is his. And that just. Also totally makes sense. Yep. But let's ignore how not normal they are. 
> 
> This is much later than I meant for it to be. I keep getting really distracted and stressed out by life things and it's interfering with my writing schedule. I am sorry for this. I'll try to get ahead of myself so that I can get something up every day this week. I hope you enjoy the chapter and I hope that you are doing well.


	28. Haunted

Shizuo hates valentine's day. Before he started high school it never mattered. He was fairly neutral on the holiday for the most part. But he’s in his second year at Raijin now and it’s extremely tedious. He sort of wishes that he had skipped school today, but he knew his parents would be even more disappointed in him if they found out so he went anyway.

The thing that changed his opinion on the holiday wasn’t the sweets that he never received because everyone feared him. It was the taunts that Izaya threw at him every single time that he pranced past him waving around all the cards and chocolates and gifts that he’d been given. He didn’t care the first few times he did it because it wasn’t excessive, it was just obnoxious. But by the eighteenth time he’s fairly sick of it.

It isn’t jealousy at all. He isn’t jealous over the flea. It’s just the principle of it. There are other students who receive nothing and yet Izaya dances around with all his love notes. Shizuo stifles yet another growl when another girl walks up to Izaya. That’s at least the sixth one this period and they haven’t even had lunch yet.

It isn’t jealousy. He just knows what Izaya is like. It’s irritating that he’s somehow manipulating all of these girls into giving him gifts and adoration.

When the bell rings Shizuo is the last one to leave the classroom. Izaya tosses a “Shizu-chan is a monster, that’s why he never gets anything” with that damned look in his eyes that Shizuo never understands. It looks like longing to him and he doesn’t get why that would exist at all.

He decides not to eat in the classroom today. The weather is nice and he knows that the roof will be secluded. He isn’t paying attention to the students chatting around him as he ascends another flight of stairs into the muffled silence he prefers.

Shizuo opens the door and is instantly assaulted by the scent of flea. He growls on instinct and glares in the direction the scent is coming from. Izaya is in the far corner typing something on his phone with a serious look on his face. Shizuo almost turns around, fully intending on returning to their empty classroom, when Izaya glances up.

“Was Shizu-chan lonely?” he lilts, a taunting grin on his lips that grates on Shizuo’s nerves while simultaneously taking his breath away. Izaya is too beautiful for his own good.

Shizuo takes the taunt as a challenge and lets the door fall closed behind him. “If I’d known that the roof was infested with fleas then I wouldn’t have come up here.” it’s a growl with more aggression in it than Shizuo really feels.

Izaya giggles, the sound of it nearly driving Shizuo mad with something he refuses to register, “It’s better than it being infested with monsters, don’t you think?”

Shizuo strides closer to him and sits a few feet away. “I’m not a monster.”

He hears something clatter against concrete and looks over. He narrows his eyes at the knife Izaya has slid open and pointed at him. Something in the flea’s eyes prevents him from reaching out to snap his wrist, “Don’t you know when you aren’t wanted?”

It’s harsh and Shizuo has no idea where the sudden animosity came from. He raises an eyebrow and turns back to his lunch, not wanting to waste the food his mother made for him this morning. When he opens the lid he sees that she packed too much and he sighs in frustration.

He doesn’t respond to Izaya’s question and after a few moments of silence he hears the sound of his knife snapping closed. “I wish you would die, Shizu-chan.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Shizuo answers, the lie tastes bitter on his tongue despite the bite of rice he just finished chewing, “Can you shut up for five minutes?”

“Not when you disturb my lunch with your disgusting presence.”

Shizuo looks over at him and there is a distinct lack of food in his enemy’s lap, “Can’t see how I’m ruining it when you don’t have any food to be ruined.”

Izaya glares at him, “I don’t know what Shizu-chan means by that.”

“Do you ever eat?” Shizuo asks irritably.

“Of course I eat. I’m just not hungry right now. Lunch isn’t that important.” Izaya states, “At least I don’t eat junk food for meals like you do. It must be because of your monstrous metabolism that you aren’t suffering from eating like that.”

Shizuo can feel anger shooting up through his chest, “Shut up. My mom made this for me and there is nothing unhealthy about it. What’s unhealthy is your habit of being an asshole.”

“That’s very original, Shizu-chan.” Izaya’s voice wavers before he continues, “I don’t have to listen to you. I’ll just go find Dota-chin.”

He starts to get up but Shizuo surges toward him and shoves him back against the wall. “No.”

Izaya blinks in surprise, “What are you saying _no_ about? I was going to give you your precious peace.” His voice is unnecessarily harsh and there is something under it that makes Shizuo feel guilty.

Shizuo growls and pushes Izaya harder into the wall before releasing him, “You don’t need to go anywhere.”

He looks away from the confusion in Izaya’s expression and over toward the lunch his mother packed for him. Suddenly the extra helping of food makes sense to him. His mother keeps hinting that she knows about Izaya but he always brushes her off even when he’s complaining that the idiot never eats.

It isn’t that he has feelings about him or worries. He’s just annoyed. That’s all it is.

That annoyance is what prompts him to settle right next to Izaya and offer his lunch to him, “My mom packed too much.” he grumbles, “And it’s a holiday so I guess I don’t mind sharing it with you.”

The flea doesn’t respond and when Shizuo risks a glance over at him his eyelashes are wet. He has his eyes closed as if that can somehow hide the small hiccups of breath that Shizuo can see and hear.

Shizuo doesn’t know what to do. He didn’t even know that Izaya _could_ cry, let alone that he would do it in front of him and over something so simple. He’s never been good at comforting anyone, he’s only good for destruction and Izaya constantly reminds him of this. So _why_.

“Izaya, stop. Don’t.” Shizuo stops talking and sets his lunch aside so he can shove his fingers through Izaya’s hair, “Just. Fuck. Stop crying.” Izaya lets out the most pathetic sob Shizuo has ever heard, but he keeps his eyes tightly closed.

Because he doesn’t know what else to do he tugs Izaya forward into an almost-hug, keeping his hand trapped in raven hair and wrapping the other tightly around his waist. Izaya doesn’t reciprocate for several seconds before his hands turn to fists in Shizuo’s shirt and he burrows his face against his chest. He’s probably leaving drool and tears all over the material, but Shizuo doesn’t care about that in the face of Izaya _crying_.

He’s never seen Izaya like this. The only time he’s seen him act any differently from normal was on that rooftop when Shizuo had almost _confessed_ to him. It makes his stomach feel strange just thinking about that day. He feels like this would be an even worse time for that but he’s never been the best at keeping himself from being honest.

“Izaya.” Shizuo says, his tone softer than it has been in weeks. He might not know what they are, but he knows that there is something off about their relationship that he wants to build on.

Izaya is tense against him, his entire frame shuddering with repressed sobs. Shizuo sighs and slides his fingers almost-gently through his hair, still awkward because he isn’t certain what will set Izaya off.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” he murmurs, his gaze traveling across the roof to stare at the benches they aren’t using, “Fuck. I was trying to be _nice_.”

Izaya pulls closer and shivers when a gust of wind brushes over them. “Fucking. Stop _crying_. I can’t deal with you when you’re crying.”

He feels an inhale near his heart and then Izaya is laughing. He doesn’t move away or even look up, he just laughs. It goes on for such a long time that Shizuo almost worries that he’s gone insane.

“Crying is what gets to you?” When he sits up his eyes are _vibrant_ , so brightly crimson that Shizuo wants to look away but can’t bring himself to do it, “That’s good to know.”

Izaya is out of his arms and skipping to the door before Shizuo can collect himself enough to scramble after him. Hunger entirely forgotten about, Shizuo chases after a laughing, taunting flea until they are both too exhausted to run anymore. Izaya disappears shortly after that and Shizuo grumbles to himself all through collecting his things.

They both end up with detention, but Shizuo is less annoyed by that than he is by the brightness of Izaya’s eyes that is now burned into his brain alongside the sound of his laugh and the smell that he gives off that Shizuo can’t seem to ignore.

He already has enough nightmares—because that’s what they are, they aren’t pleasant dreams, the flea is never pleasant and he refuses to think otherwise—about the flea’s laugh, he doesn’t need dreams about his damn eyes added to that.

His mom asks how his day went and if he shared his lunch with someone else. He can’t help the small smile that tugs at his lips when he tells her that he tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back to Raijin again because I wanted to elaborate on those several months of oddness between them that Shizuo was thinking about forever ago. It isn't that their relationship wasn't odd before that time when Shizuo almost confessed, it just made it more obvious to them both. And honestly, I'll get to a confession eventually. Maybe that happened after graduation, I dunno. They'll get there when they get there. 
> 
> Yay for keeping up with a schedule! I actually feel so accomplished for getting this finished today and for it being so many words. And it's so sweet even if it is Izaya crying and Shizuo trying really hard to ignore how jealous he is. Also it's April now so lets just ignore that this is technically a valentines chapter, pfff. Christmas will probably show up eventually, if I'm honest. I'm rambling again though. I hope you like this chapter and I hope you are having a good day!!


	29. Consumed

Dance was meant to be a fun, relaxing experience. When Shizuo asked Izaya if he wanted to take lessons, he was not considering the implications of learning different forms or the proximity his hips would constantly have to Izaya’s ass.

Most of the time it isn’t an issue. They focus on what their instructor is showing them and they mimic her. And they have excelled at everything they’ve faced so far.

Shizuo was excited about today a week ago but he can’t remember why that was because of the distraction of how vocal Izaya is being as they stretch out. He has his hands flat against Izaya’s back and he can feel the subtle shift of his muscles before he lets out a breathy sigh that sounds suspiciously like a moan, “Shizu-chan is pushing me too hard.”

Shizuo grits his teeth. The asshole is doing this on purpose. “Shut the fuck up. I’m doing what I always do.”

“Your hands are too rough.” Izaya shifts and drags one of his legs back behind him, careful not to move his torso out of Shizuo’s grasp, “Don’t you know how to be gentle.”

Shizuo shoves Izaya’s face into the mat as he reaches forward for his hands, “I’ll show you gentle.” He can feel the air spark between their bodies as Izaya makes another obnoxious noise. Shizuo is completely certain that that was uncalled for.

And he’s pretty sure he just saw Namie shoot a disgusted glare in their direction before Varona drew her attention away with a quiet murmur.

“Stop  _ doing  _ that.” Shizuo growls into Izaya’s ear.

“Doing what? I’m only stretching, Shizu-chan.” Izaya’s voice is tauntingly smooth. He can already tell that this is not going to be a fun class for him.

When they are finally finished with the longest stretching session Shizuo has ever sat through, their teacher tells them that she’s going to walk them slowly through the steps of a tango. Shizuo doesn’t even need to glance down at Izaya’s face to know he’s grinning madly.

_ This is the worst. _

There probably isn’t a pair more suited to the faster paced, more involved dances than they are. Shizuo isn’t concerned at all about their ability to perform it. It’s Izaya’s  _ mood  _ that concerns him. He’s already been making obnoxious sounds and rubbing his ass against Shizuo at every given opportunity. Being given free reign of a god damned tango, a dance where they can run their hands all over each other and are even encouraged to do so, is about the worst thing Shizuo can think of in this moment.

The teacher has music with her and plays it for them so they can get an idea of what pace they would be aiming for before she switches over to something slower.

Shizuo hates this. He hates Izaya’s leggings and tiny shorts that do nothing to hide his ass. There is no reason for this experience to be so arousing. When Izaya drags his ass across Shizuo’s pelvis for the thousandth time in a move that is supposed to be a slow twirl instead, Shizuo grips his hips harder and holds him against him.

“Shizu-chan, handle me a bit lighter, I'm not a piece of meat~” Izaya teases.

He’s frustrated and he’s sure that the informant can tell. That’s exactly why he keeps shoving his ass right up against him. It’s only making it worse and he really hopes it isn’t as obvious as he thinks it is. He wears sweat pants that have plenty of space in them, but that doesn’t hide everything. “Keep shoving your ass against me like that and I’ll treat you like a piece of meat.” Shizuo growls quietly.

Izaya reaches up and yanks at Shizuo’s hair. He’s  _ panting  _ and Shizuo cannot believe that he thinks this is appropriate behavior for such a small public space. “Are you going to eat me, Shizu-chan?”

“You wanna find out?” Shizuo swears he feels a shudder work its way along Izaya’s spine, “I don’t care if we’re in the middle of class, if you shove your ass against my dick one more time.” He narrows his eyes at Izaya when he sees him lick his lips, “I’ll drag you out of here and I  _ will  _ eat you.”

It’s probably the opposite of what he should have said. Izaya doesn’t listen to him on their best days, so of course he wouldn’t listen while they’re in the middle of a dance lesson. The next chance Izaya finds, and then every single time after that, he’s got his ass right up against him again. Shizuo grits his teeth and considers throwing Izaya over his shoulder but he knows what that would look like.

By the time class is over they are both desperate. Hours later, Shizuo threatens never to bring him back if he ever does that again. Izaya is too much of a melted mess to respond with anything other than assurances and nods of agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna pretend that this isn't totally inappropriate behavior to have in public. I dunno what's up with Izaya, but ignoring him. Tangos are like. Super sexual?? I went and watched several to get a tone for this chapter because I already knew that I wanted it to end up with Izaya rubbing his ass against Shizuo and Shizuo making reference to eating him but I needed a sensual dance in order to do that properly. So why not the tango? 
> 
> And in all actuality, if they focused on the dance, which they will when they aren't so distracted by each other, this is a dance that I can see Shizuo and Izaya doing. For Izaya's part it's alot of twirling and dancing away from Shizuo and Shizuo's chasing after him. It's perfect. But I'm a nerd and I love dance so I'll stop rambling. I hope you like this. I had some assistance with Izaya's lines by a friend of mine and we discussed the idea for it, so this one was actually kind of planned. I dunno if that shows. I hope you had a good day!!


	30. Immersed

Izaya wanted sushi and Shizuo wanted to take him on a date since they had the time. So, naturally, they went to Russia Sushi.

Simon gave them a table in the back where they are less visible because Izaya insisted. He doesn’t like all the looks they draw—Shizuo thinks it’s him being possessive but he isn’t completely sure—and Shizuo doesn’t mind the privacy if that means that Izaya is more likely to let him be affectionate. Generally Izaya hates doing anything in public, even if they aren’t somewhere that they can be seen.

So Shizuo doesn’t understand how they end up in a closet. He didn’t even know that the restaurant  _ had  _ a closet. It’s kind of small and cramped and he doesn’t have a good angle on Izaya’s lips. “You stink.” Shizuo growls.

Izaya stiffens and yanks on his hair in retaliation for the insult, “I do not stink. Shizu-chan’s nose is messed up.”

“Your breath is  _ fishy _ .” Shizuo emphasizes, biting down on Izaya’s lip because he feels the need to respond to having his hair pulled.

Izaya lets out a small gasp and then giggles, “We’re in a sushi restaurant, Shizuo. You’re probably smelling actual fish.”

Shizuo doesn’t say anything. He just grips Izaya’s hips harder in his hands and shoves him up the wall so that his face is level with Izaya’s neck instead of his mouth. Izaya wraps his legs around his waist and Shizuo can feel the instant reaction the informant has to his display of strength against his abdomen.

Shizuo presses in closer and kisses at Izaya’s neck, breathing in the smell of  _ Izaya  _ rather than fish. Izaya tries to stifle a moan in Shizuo’s hair and a shudder wracks his whole body.

“Why are you smelling me?” his voice comes out strange, like he’s having a hard time breathing.

Shizuo really likes that he can bring the informant to this point so quickly.

“Because the rest of you smells amazing.” Shizuo responds automatically. He feels Izaya’s legs spread wider around his waist, his heartbeat speed up, and hears the tiny whimper that Izaya doesn’t manage to hide from him.

Izaya likes it when Shizuo tells him that.

And it isn’t even a lie. Amazing isn’t a strong enough word for how good Izaya smells. He remembers wanting to do this very thing when he was in Raijin in the middle of summer when Izaya’s scent was the strongest. He also remembers Izaya’s reaction the first time it happened. The thought of that makes him tighten his hold on delicate hip bones. Izaya moans quietly in response.

“Shi—Shizu-chan doesn’t make any sense.” he’s slurring his words now and Shizuo grits his teeth against the urge to rip his pants off.

They’re in public, dammit. Why does Izaya always tease him like this when he can’t do what he wants. “Fuck, Izaya. You smell so good.” Shizuo presses a soft kiss against his jaw, “Better than anything in this entire restaurant.”

He feels another full-body shudder from Izaya before he speaks unsteadily again, “Yeah?” Izaya gasps into his hair, “I don’t smell like fish or garbage?”

“No,” Shizuo states heatedly, his voice low and husky as he speaks directly into Izaya’s ear, “I love your scent. It’s even better than that strawberry cake you got me for my birthday.” he chuckles lightly, enjoying the way Izaya’s starting to squirm in his desire to be touched more, “You don’t even smell  _ sweet _ . You smell like cinnamon and coffee and,” Shizuo nibbles on his earlobe and inhales deeply, “fuck. I can’t even  _ describe  _ it.”

Izaya whines and the sound is so close to Shizuo’s mouth that he’s tempted to bite his throat to block it off. “Shizu-chan,” Izaya pants, “please.”

He’s practically grinding against Shizuo’s abs but he can hardly move so it isn’t doing much for either of them other than making Izaya squirm more. “ _ Fuck _ ,” Shizuo almost groans with the amount of self-control it’s taking not to rip Izaya’s pants off and fuck him into the wall, “we’re in  _ public _ , ‘zaya. I can’t just—”

Izaya yanks his head back by the grip he has in his hair and kisses him. It doesn’t help Shizuo’s self-control, but his body certainly isn’t in any rush to get away. When Izaya bites down on his lip he barely notices because of the heat in his blood and the soft lines of Izaya’s body against his own, “You can and you will.”

Shizuo is surprised to hear Izaya say this, but he doesn’t argue. He moves immediately to remove Izaya’s belt as Izaya reaches into one of his pockets for something that Shizuo suspects is that bottle of vanilla flavored lube they used last night. “You just carry that around with you?” Shizuo asks, his breathing a bit unsteady in his haste to get Izaya’s pants out of his way.

Izaya smiles in a way that has Shizuo’s blood running even hotter, “Only when Shizu-chan is going to be around to make use of it.”

He has no idea why the thought of Izaya carrying around lube arouses him so much when he already knows that he does that. For fucks sake, Shizuo has lube in his wallet in case Izaya isn’t prepared for such occasions. That is incredibly rare, but he keeps it anyway because he did need it once in some random hotel room because Izaya  _ couldn’t  _ wait and Shizuo had even less patience than him once Izaya had gotten his belt off.

Much like now. Izaya keeps fumbling with the lid because he can’t seem to stop shaking. “Here, let me get it.” Shizuo offers, “I’m the one that’s gonna use it anyway.”

Izaya releases the bottle into Shizuo’s waiting hand and reaches back up to shove his fingers into blond hair. He lets out a strangled moan as soon as Shizuo starts to work a finger into him, “When we get home, I’d really love it if you—”

They both freeze when they hear the doorknob start to turn and they’re met with the sight of Simon. He blinks a few times and then smiles brightly before reaching past Shizuo for a mop, “I am happy to see that you are getting along today.”

And then he’s gone and the door closes quietly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did I get here. These two have no chill. 
> 
> I really hope you like this chapter. I tried REALLY hard. Just. This is not something I usually do, ok. I hope it's good. And I hope you all had a lovely day!!


	31. Overpowered

Sometimes Shizuo and Izaya get competitive. It is usually over trivial things like how long they can go without their favorite foods. Which is, unsurprisingly, not very long for either of them. It’s made worse by how constantly they tease each other about losing. The last several times they’ve made bets, Izaya has won. He wins by mere moments usually because he doesn’t have any reason to continue the competition after winning.

This time Izaya bet Shizuo that he could outlast him in a game of abstinence. Shizuo hates this idea more than that time Izaya had bet that he could eat more. Izaya lost that time, but it didn’t matter when they were both lying on the couch unable to function because their stomachs ached.

Shizuo left the apartment this morning determined to win their game. Izaya said that any kind of teasing is allowed except for fingering or blow jobs. Which puts the game more in Shizuo’s favor because Izaya has a lot of sexual weaknesses.

He knows that Izaya won’t make it easy on him though.

When he meets up with Tom and sees that Varona is not with him, his heart sinks. If Varona isn’t here then she’s with Namie. Which means that Izaya is alone in their apartment, completely free to send Shizuo dirty texts for the entire day.

By the time lunch rolls around, all Izaya has talked to him about are mundane things. He’s sent a short grocery list and tells Shizuo that he doesn’t need to pick up dinner because he’s already started making something. He’s instantly suspicious of what he’s going to come home to, but Izaya assures him that dinner will already be finished by the time he gets back.

It isn’t reassuring at all because the anticipation of what Izaya is going to do is even worse than the dirty texts and provocative pictures would have been. Those are something that he’s used to receiving, and something that almost always gets him to drop whatever he’s doing to go fuck Izaya or beat the shit out of him.

Which also ends with Izaya panting underneath him.

Most of their fights end in sex, so he hopes that Izaya doesn’t plan on instigating one. Shizuo has even less self-control when he’s angry than he does normally, so the informant barely has to do anything but moan his name to get him exactly where they both want to be.

By the end of the day, Shizuo is extremely tense. Izaya has texted with him for the entire day with absolutely no indication of teasing or hidden motives. And by default, that means that the bastard is planning something.

Tom can tell that he’s twitchy and as soon as they are finished with their final job for the day, he smiles at him and offers to buy him dinner.

Shizuo runs his fingers through his hair, feeling only a tiny bit guilty for not being all that talkative today, “Ah, actually...Izaya’s making dinner tonight.”

Tom’s smile turns from kind to amused, “Is that what you’ve been worried about all afternoon?”

Shizuo shrugs, “That’s part of it. We kind of made a bet this morning and I’m dreading what I’m going home to.”

Tom holds up a hand and shakes his head, “I don’t want to know about it.” His smile slips into something pitying, “You’ve lost a lot of bets with him recently, haven’t you? I wish you luck this time, whatever it is.”

“I’m fairly convinced that I can win this one. The last one wasn’t even fair.” Shizuo huffs, “Bastard flea knows I can’t drink coffee without anything in it.”

Tom chuckles, “Why did you take him up on that one? Orihara-san drinks coffee all the time.”

“I wasn’t thinkin clearly at the time…” Shizuo scratches at the back of his neck, embarrassed about having this conversation at all, “Coffee isn’t  _ that  _ bad. It’s just bitter.”

Tom wisely chooses not to comment further, “Ah well, I wish you luck this time since you said you have a chance. Orihara-san will have my head if I don’t let you get back to him though. See you later, Shizuo.”

It is unlike Izaya to go an entire day without teasing or at least being flirty. So when Shizuo is making his way home from the store with the things Izaya asked for, he is almost relieved when he receives a text from Izaya.

“Was Shizu-chan hoping to have me for dinner tonight?” he doesn’t even have time to react to this ridiculous question before there is another text, “You’re such a perverted monster~”

Shizuo is trying to type out a short response when Izaya starts bombarding him with texts.

“You’ve already had me for dinner several times this week, you know.”

“I know I’m your favorite, but I’m hardly filling.”

He must be bored if he’s going on about this. Or horny. Shizuo starts walking a bit faster, not even bothering to try to text Izaya back.

“Unlike Shizu-chan’s cock~”

“You’re such a monster.”

“My poor ass is suffering from your abuse.”

“Not that I mind, of course.”

“I love the feeling of you inside me.”

“Stretching me wide open.”

“Bruising me inside and out.”

“Your strength really turns me on.”

Shizuo knows he’s actually serious when he starts talking about his strength. The rest of it is just teasing, but apparently he’s getting himself worked up too.

“Maybe if you get home fast enough I won’t start without you.”

That last text reaches him as soon as he gets into their apartment building and he is tempted to sprint up the stairs, but he remembers their bet this morning.

“You won’t do that.” Shizuo shoots back, knowing very well that he won’t. With how close Shizuo is to home, a fact that he is sure Izaya is well aware of, Izaya isn’t going to do anything like that. Especially considering the game they’re playing. Izaya never forgets about a game and refuses to lose at anything. That is what gets Shizuo to calm down and take the elevator instead of the stairs. “I’m in the elevator. And I didn’t think that you were talking about yourself.”

Shizuo grins when he doesn’t receive a reply. Izaya is most likely pouting at how calm Shizuo seems to be. In reality he has no desire to wait, but he doesn’t want to give Izaya a third easy victory. This is a game that he can win, so he isn’t going to give in to Izaya’s teasing.

He can smell sushi and stir-fry as soon as he steps out of the elevator. Because the smell is mixed in with the usual mint and bleach stench of the hallway, he assumes that Izaya had finished cooking just before harassing him. That was about fifteen minutes ago, which is plenty of time for Izaya to have set up some kind of trap for him to walk into.

He’s cautious when he opens the door. Nothing explodes in his face and Izaya isn’t naked in an apron, so he feels safe enough to enter the apartment and toe off his shoes. “Izaya,” Shizuo calls loud enough that the informant will be able to hear him, even from their bedroom, “I’m home.”

When he doesn’t receive a snippy response of “Shizu-chan doesn’t have to announce that. I could hear his stomping from miles away.” he sets down the single bag of groceries on the dining table and strides across the living room. He hears something fall in their bedroom and instantly grows suspicious.

“I’m not falling for this again.” He growls as he opens their bedroom door. But the expected sight of Izaya sprawled out on their bed is not what he is met with. The bed is empty and the closet light is on.

Shizuo narrows his eyes and makes his way closer. His eyes go wide when he sees Izaya in one of his work shirts, unbuttoned and revealing pale skin with love bites all over his hips and stomach, and something that looks like men’s lingerie.

The undergarment is lacy and has a little black bow in the center of the waistband. The bottom edges of the briefs are attached to garters and stockings with lines that emphasize Izaya’s elegant legs.

Shizuo is completely speechless.

He’s seen Izaya in lingerie before. He’s even bought some for him. Though it’s usually silky and elegant and in pale colors like this is, Shizuo hasn’t seen this before today. For some reason, that makes this all the more shocking and arousing. However, he composes himself and raises an eyebrow.

“That’s not exactly something I would suggest eating in. You’re going to mess it up.”

Izaya isn’t thrown off at all. He prances over, swaying his hips in a way that Shizuo feels is unnecessary, and runs his hands up Shizuo’s chest. “I’d much rather have Shizu-chan mess it up for me.” he purrs.

Shizuo’s hands instinctively wrap around Izaya’s hips and he thumbs over the waistband of the lingerie slowly. Izaya’s body responds to his touch instantly but his expression remains teasing. “I don’t want to ruin it.” Shizuo responds slowly, dropping his voice lower and watching Izaya’s pupils dilate, “It makes your legs look fantastic.”

The informant tries to hide the shudder that dances through his body by sliding his hands down to Shizuo’s belt, “Do you want to fuck my legs, Shizu-chan?”

“Not particularly.” Shizuo is surprised that his own voice isn’t betraying how turned on he is from seeing Izaya in his shirt, let alone lacy lingerie that emphasizes his thighs. Izaya’s seductive smirk falls a bit at the edges, a pout very clearly warring with his determination. Shizuo lifts him gently and the informant instinctively wraps his legs around him.

Izaya is grinning up at him when Shizuo sets him down on the bed, “Just teasing, Shizu-chan. Unless you want to admit defeat.”

Shizuo tilts his head in consideration, and then stands up. He enjoys the look of disappointment that crosses Izaya’s face for half a second before he leans back on his hands and spreads his legs further apart. Shizuo ignores that blatant invitation and turns around.

He hears Izaya’s huff of annoyance as he unbuttons his vest and then his shirt and slips both off, letting them pool at his feet for a moment. Izaya doesn’t stifle an appreciative inhale fast enough and Shizuo smirks when he reaches down to grab the material. He throws it into their hamper and turns back to Izaya.

Izaya’s cheeks are flushed and his eyes dance over Shizuo’s shoulders before meeting with his, “If you think that’s enough to—”

“I know that’s not enough to get you to beg.” Shizuo announces, “You’re the one that came up with this idea though, so don’t blame me for this. Normally I’d be fucking you by now.” he watches Izaya’s throat struggle to swallow as he steps closer, “Do you have any idea how fucking  _ tempting  _ you are? Your legs are begging to be fucked. And you’re wearing one of  _ my  _ shirts.” Shizuo growls the last part as he crawls between Izaya’s legs and runs a palm up his thigh.

Izaya’s entire body is shaking with want, but he appears to be fighting back a whimper so Shizuo continues. “You’re practically begging for it already.” Izaya’s eyes flash in defiance but he doesn’t release the hold his teeth have on his bottom lip.

Shizuo kisses the skin below his navel and nearly grins when Izaya’s breath hitches, “I can’t do that, ‘zaya. You made the bet and the rules this time.” he doesn’t look up to see the irritation that he knows is in Izaya’s eyes.

He bites the skin on one of his hips briefly and squeezes the thigh he’s still holding down with his palm. The other leg jerks up and tries to wrap around Shizuo to pull him closer but he shoves it back against the bed with his free hand. “That’s cheating, flea. Can’t have you preventing me from teasing you.” Shizuo looks up at Izaya’s face and he has both hands covering his mouth now.

His pupils are so wide that Shizuo can barely make out the crimson of his irises around the edges. “You’ve been driving me crazy all day, y’know. You and your tight ass were the only thing I could think about.” Izaya’s eyelids flutter and Shizuo squeezes his thighs a bit harder.

He hears a strangled moan through Izaya’s hands, “I thought I was gonna come home to you covered in whipped cream or some shit with the way you were texting so enthusiastically. But this is better. I can have you in bed this way and I know your back prefers this to the kitchen counter.”

Shizuo moves up slightly so he can kiss Izaya’s sternum. “Maybe you thought about that and that’s why you were in here. You’re smart,” Izaya shivers and his legs twitch against Shizuo’s hands, “I’m sure you thought this out.”

A small whine works its way through the prison of Izaya’s hands. The informant is shaking so hard that Shizuo’s surprised he’s still able to hold his hands against his mouth. Shizuo shifts his grip on Izaya’s thighs and pulls himself more firmly against him so that Izaya can feel him through his trousers. Izaya groans, his hands falling away from his mouth enough to let the sound through. Shizuo smiles at him, “I love the sounds you make.”

Izaya tries to glare at him as he removes his hands from his mouth completely and yanks hard on Shizuo’s hair to bring him in for a desperate kiss, “Just fuck me already! I don’t care about losing anymore.”

He laughs against Izaya’s lips.

That’s one more victory for Shizuo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izaya is a wreck and Shizuo is a winner. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's longer than the others so far by several hundred words and it went well past 2k words so I'm proud of that. But ignore me. I hope you're having a wonderful day!!
> 
> Also this is the thing Izaya is wearing, if anyone is curious: http://41.media.tumblr.com/22b73a1a1cb65feba93825cd99b3dc1b/tumblr_mhgbcevD7Y1rptbgoo1_1280.jpg


	32. Influenced

Kadota invited Shizuo and Izaya out for some drinks, conveniently leaving out that he had also invited Shinra for this particular evening. It isn’t the first time they’ve had a reunion like this, but they have become fairly rare with how busy all of their lives are. And because Shizuo and Izaya aren’t big fans of drinking to begin with.

Shinra talks a lot when he’s drunk and makes very little sense other than saying Celty’s name continuously. Shizuo tends to ignore his rambling unless it moves toward him or Izaya.

Kadota is quiet, but occasionally he seems sad. Shizuo doesn’t ask what’s on his mind at these times because he doesn’t want to pry. Kadota seems to appreciate the space.

Shizuo has yet to drink enough to get more than tipsy. Between the bitter taste of most alcohol and his very high tolerance, he has never had the misfortune of finding out what kinds of things he does drunk. Izaya joked in high school that Shizuo would be an angry drunk. Which is terrifying to think about.

Izaya is ridiculously cuddly when he has enough alcohol in his system. His tolerance is already low, but after he hits a certain point his behavior is completely different. Normally Shizuo would make sure that they left just before that point, but he’d been distracted by the story Kadota was telling them.

As soon as Izaya draped himself across Shizuo’s lap and started nuzzling his stomach, Shizuo decided that it was past time to leave. Izaya whines when he pulls away but sighs happily a moment later when he picks him up. He snuggles close to Shizuo’s chest and giggles, “Shizu-chan is really warm.”

Shizuo shushes him and hugs him closer before he waves to Kadota and a nearly unconscious Shinra, “I can text Celty to come pick him up if you want.”

Kadota shakes his head, “Togusa’ll be here in a bit. It’s fine.” he shoots a look at Izaya’s back, “You should probably focus on getting him home.”

Izaya is starting to nibble on Shizuo’s ear so he agrees quickly and walks away in embarrassment. More for Izaya than himself, though the fact that they almost never display affection in public is probably contributing to the blush on his cheeks.

“Is Shizu-chan embarrassed to be seen with me?” Izaya murmurs against his jaw.

Shizuo sighs, “Of course not. I just want to get you home so we can sleep.”

“It isn’t even that late.” Izaya grumbles, “The sun isn’t up yet.”

“Well, I’m tired and I’m bringing you to bed with me.”

Izaya doesn’t protest. Shizuo knows that he is content with that plan because they have had similar conversations before when the informant has been like this.

Though he is usually completely fine with walking all the way to their apartment in Shinjuku, he’s pretty sure that they’ll both be more comfortable in a cab. The look on the poor cab drivers face is more than worth the complaints that Izaya voices when Shizuo tries to lay him in the seat next to him. He ends up back in Shizuo’s lap and the cab driver faces forward and away from them for the entire trip after Shizuo glares at him for smirking about Izaya’s complaints.

When they get into their apartment, Shizuo brings Izaya upstairs to their room so he can help him get ready for bed. When he sets the informant down on the bed and starts unbuttoning his pants, Izaya starts giggling. “Shizu-chan is a pervert.”

Shizuo rolls his eyes, “I’m helping you so you can put pajamas on.”

“Nu-uh, you’re taking my pants off. That’s sexual harassment.” Izaya tilts his head, “Can I wear Shizu-chan’s shirt?”

Shizuo pushes Izaya back gently and helps him tug off his pants. The instant the material leaves his skin his mouth scrunches up in a pout. “What’s wrong?” Shizuo asks in confusion.

“I’m cold.” Izaya grumbles.

Shizuo chuckles and runs a hand through black hair, “My shirt isn’t going to be that warm, y’know.”

Izaya leans up to link his fingers at the back of Shizuo’s neck, hugging him and trying to snuggle into his chest again, “I know that, I want to wear it because it smells like Shizu-chan.”

“I have to get your pants first, flea.” he presses a kiss below Izaya’s ear and reaches back to unlink his fingers from his neck, “Let me get us changed and then I can hold you.”

Izaya scowls and crosses his arms, but doesn’t protest.

By the time Shizuo has finished getting them both ready for bed and _somehow_ coerced Izaya into brushing his teeth and flossing, the informant is yawning and complaining adamantly about how cold he is without Shizuo’s arms around him.

Shizuo sighs for what feels like the millionth time that evening and pulls Izaya into his arms so he can wrap them both in their comforter. “Stop complaining. You would have been angry with me if you woke up with stale alcohol breath.”

“But I was cold,” Izaya whines again, “You know I hate being cold.”

“I do know that, but I also know that you’d stab me if you woke up grumpy and gross.”

“I’m never gross, Shizu-chan.” Izaya argues.

Shizuo chuckles into his shoulder, “Your words, not mine.”

“I have never said such a thing about myself.” Izaya yawns and inches back as far as he can into Shizuo’s chest, “Shizu-chan is imagining things.”

“If you say so,” Shizuo nuzzles Izaya’s neck, “you should sleep.”

Izaya groans quietly, “Fiine, since you have to be so insistent about it.”

It’s quiet for a few moments. The only sound in the room is their breathing, the rhythm nearly in sync, before Izaya breaks it. “Shizuo?”

The informant doesn’t often use his full name so he pulls him a bit more firmly against him, “What’s wrong, ‘zaya?”

“Are you going to work tomorrow?”

“Tom-san told me that he wants me to take the day off. I’ve been working too much recently or something.” Shizuo hesitates for a moment, “Do you need me to do something for you?”

“I...Shiki-san and Akabayashi-san requested that you come with me for a meeting.” Izaya links their fingers and Shizuo can feel the tension in his shoulders, “It isn’t anything to worry about, but they seemed rather serious about it.”

Shizuo kisses Izaya’s jaw, a growl rumbling through his chest, “If Akabayashi asks about our most recent dates again I’m going to shove his head through a car door.”

Izaya giggles lightly, the sound of pure amusement making Shizuo smile despite himself, “That would be a bad idea. Akabayashi-san is a very powerful force in the Awakusu. We’d both be in trouble if you managed to piss him off.”

“I’ve never seen him get that angry at either of us.” Shizuo sighs, his anger burnt away by the sound of Izaya’s laugh, “We really should sleep, ‘zaya. You can tell me about the meeting in the morning.”

“That’s the thing, actually. I just remembered to tell you that they’re coming here to collect us around noon. We can’t sleep in like you usually insist we do on your days off.”

Shizuo groans in annoyance. The Awakusu executives like to push their weight around just because Shizuo won’t kick their asses. But he only has so much patience with Akabayashi’s jokes about their relationship. If the man asks about how tired they look and makes another inappropriate comment about Shizuo staring at Izaya’s ass too much, he really will punch the man into the next city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do believe that Akabayashi and Shiki would act like massively protective fathers with Shizuo and Izaya if they weren't constantly destroying the city. Also Akabayashi would try his hardest to get as much amusement out of their relationship as humanly possible. 
> 
> But ignoring my rambling about headcanons, I'm really sorry this took so long. I honestly have no idea why this chapter was so hard to finish. I hope it's good and that you like it. And I hope you had a lovely few days.


	33. Thrilled

They don’t say ‘I love you’.

It’s something that they know through actions and displays of affection and other sweet or passionate words. The words are made more special by the rarity of them. So when ‘I love you’ is stated they both have to pause to take a breath. They stare at each other for a long moment, their hearts beating rapidly, before they can manage a smile or an answer.

An answering ‘I love you’ is never expected. Most couples respond automatically with the words as an assurance, but Shizuo and Izaya answer with emotions and actions. A lot of what they do instead is surprising each other with gifts, physical intimacy, their favorite foods, spur of the moment dates, and other things that they can enjoy together.

Shizuo remembers the first time he told Izaya that he loved him. It was years ago, one of the first nights they had spent in their first shared apartment. They were in bed, Izaya naked and curled up against his side slowly dozing off into a comfortable post-sex slumber. He’d looked so beautiful and peaceful and content that it made Shizuo realize that he wasn’t just dating and living with this person. They weren’t just coexisting.

Shizuo was and is in love with Izaya.

But it isn’t easy. Izaya is an asshole that likes to tease him and push him to his limits just as much as he likes for Shizuo to do the same to him. They test each other and Izaya claims that it makes them stronger. Shizuo doesn’t know if that is true or not. But despite all of the difficulties that their relationship contains, he is happy. And he can tell that Izaya is happy by the bright, genuine smiles that he gives upon waking up with him and the way he hums while he’s in the shower. There are lots of little habits and ticks that Izaya has developed over the years that clearly display his happiness and contentment.

But they are hidden from everyone except for Shizuo.

“Shizu-chan? Why are you staring at me like that?” Izaya has his head tilted ever so slightly when Shizuo blinks and takes notice of his surroundings. He must have been staring at him for quite a while before he said anything based on the wide grin on the informant’s face.

“Because you have rice on your cheek.” Shizuo responds after taking a moment to figure out how to answer.

Izaya sets his chopsticks down and touches his cheeks with his hands, finding nothing there and frowning when Shizuo chuckles, “That’s cruel, Shizu-chan.”

“You’re the one that fell for it,” Shizuo smiles happily, “and you like the attention.”

It’s cold outside and Izaya had been grumbling about it all afternoon from his desk. When Shizuo suggested they have hotpot for dinner, Izaya’s entire countenance lit up. He doesn’t know why Izaya is so obsessed with it, but every time that Shizuo offers up the idea, he drops everything he’s doing so they can work on it together.

Izaya is pouting, but he’s still obviously happy about the meal. He keeps eating, if at a slightly slower pace than he was before. “I have to get you back for all the times you’ve tricked me, y’know.” Shizuo says.

“Don’t have to.” Izaya mumbles, the edges of his lips betraying him.

Shizuo feels Izaya kick at his leg beneath the table, “Do you think kicking me is going to convince me otherwise?”

“No, but it’ll make me feel better.” Izaya flashes a grin at him when he kicks him again, “Though it would be nice if I could actually leave a bruise that won’t disappear while we sleep.”

Shizuo shrugs, “Sometimes bites and scratches stick around for a day or two.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? I don’t usually leave those on purpose.” Izaya is frowning, but Shizuo can see the amusement dancing in his eyes.

Shizuo raises an eyebrow, “Usually?”

Izaya takes a bite of his food and chews deliberately slowly, “Usually. It depends on how coherent I am at the time.”

Shizuo is tempted to laugh. Izaya is never coherent when he’s scratching or biting him. Though biting happens rather often when they kiss, he’s aware that Izaya is not talking about that. He means the slight indentations that he leaves in Shizuo’s shoulders when he’s trying unsuccessfully to stifle moans. He’s never broken skin, regardless of how hard he bites down.

Shizuo would find it amusing if he weren’t in the middle of something at the time.

Instead of laughing, Shizuo looks down at the neckline of Izaya’s shirt. There are a few pale bruises from Shizuo’s teeth that line his collarbones that aren’t completely hidden beneath the material. He smiles every time he sees them because it’s a blaringly obvious statement of possession. Izaya is his. Any of his damned perverted clients can back the fuck off.

He doesn’t realize that he’s clenching his hands until his chopsticks crack loudly. Izaya starts laughing and nearly falls out of his chair. His giggles melt whatever irritation Shizuo could have felt at being laughed at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two are nerds. Happy and very much in love, but still nerds. 
> 
> I have finals this next week, but I'm going to try to write as much as my free time will allow. I'm sorry I've been a bit slow lately. I have alot going on and most of it has nothing to do with school work. If all goes well, I will have something for you tomorrow!!
> 
> I hope you like the chapter and I hope you had a wonderful few days. :)


	34. Biased

During their final weeks at Raijin, Shizuo and Izaya are in a constant cycle of chasing and kissing. It’s startling, the difference in how he feels when those crimson eyes change from teasing and cold to soft and warm. Generally it’s when they’ve made it out of the school gates that Izaya turns to throw him a smile and a laugh that sounds like pure joy. It’s contagious and Shizuo finds himself laughing along with him.

They run by a flower shop and Izaya snatches up several small pink flowers. Shizuo barely catches the action so he knows that the woman straightening out the sign didn’t see it. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes, reaches into his pocket and hands what he pulls out to the woman before smiling politely and running after Izaya again.

They don’t stop until they reach a park and Izaya leans up against a tree, grinning at Shizuo like he won something amazing. “That was unnecessary, you know. I only took a few flowers.”

He settles into the grass at the base of the tree and Shizuo frowns down at him, “You can’t just take things, flea. Even if they’re flowers.”

Izaya hums and his gaze drops to his lap where he has the flowers set out. As Shizuo watches, he starts to knot the stems together in a circle. When he finishes he places it on his own head and looks up at Shizuo expectantly, “How do I look?”

“Like a flea wearing stolen flowers.” Shizuo mumbles, the tips of his ears feel a bit hot and he is really glad his hair is long enough to cover them.

“Aww, come on. Shizu-chan must have dreams about me with flowers in my hair.” Izaya stands up and leans his back against the tree casually.

He’s wrong. Shizuo has never dreamed of Izaya with flowers in his hair. He’d love to say that he doesn’t even dream about the bastard, but he does. Most of the dreams are of chases similar to this, where they are actually enjoying themselves. Occasionally he dreams of what he can only assume is them as adults, happy and laughing together while they eat dinner in their apartment. And even more rarely are the dreams of their fights. All of the dreams he has are innocent in nature, though he’s sure Izaya assumes differently.

Shizuo doesn’t answer the question, glancing away and scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s getting kinda late…”

It isn’t. School only just let out and they are usually out until sunset, at least. “Is Shizu-chan unable to look at me when I look like this?” Izaya is smirking when Shizuo glares at him, “They’re just flowers. They can’t possibly make me  _ that  _ much more attractive. I am gorgeous after all.”

_ Arrogant fuck.  _ Shizuo rolls his eyes and steps closer to Izaya, not touching him because they’re out in the open and he knows that that’s a bad idea. “You’re p—”

“Look what we have here.” a man’s voice cuts him off and Shizuo straightens and turns to glare at him. He’s seen this guy before, but he can’t remember where.

“It’s rude to interrupt~” Izaya chirps and Shizuo tenses at the tone. “I’m sure Shiki-san would be angry with you for harassing his best informant.” The mention of the Awakusu executive that Izaya’s told him about makes Shizuo clench his jaw.

“The Awakusu ain’t around right now.” the guy is leering at Izaya and it pisses Shizuo off more than the fact that they are being threatened.

“Back off.” Shizuo growls before Izaya can say anything else with that disgustingly fake sweetness.

The idiot sneers at him, “What’re you gonna do about it? I was talkin to him, not you.” 

Izaya lets out an obnoxious laugh, “Oh that’s too good! Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of the Monster of Ikebukuro?” 

“Who gives a fuck about some monster. We’ll beat this kid’s ass then yours if you don’t give me what I want.” 

Shizuo’s chest rumbles with a growl and he clenches his fists. He can see that Izaya hasn’t moved from his casual position against the tree, but he has his knife in his hand, dancing around his fingers in a threat, “I won’t be giving you anything. Shizu-chan?” 

Shizuo tilts his head to the side, but keeps his eyes on the group of men a few feet from them, “What.” 

“We should get ice cream after we finish here.” he flashes a grin. He’s completely unconcerned about the situation. 

Shizuo feels something twitch in his chest at the look of trust he sees there and briefly grins at him, feeling a bit manic despite himself. “Yeah. But it’s your turn to pay for it. I bought the flowers earlier anyway, you owe me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like writing about them being really kinda oddly innocent teenagers that just chase each other around and act like nerds with crushes. So this is the result of that. Oops. I have other ideas bouncing around so more Raijin is probably going to happen after this at some point. This is very nonlinear and I would apologize for that if it didn't fit so well. 
> 
> I've been stressing over finals and projects, but I did this and I wanted to give it to you because it's cute and happy and that's good for everyone. I'm trying to write out the next chapter right now, but we'll see if it's finished by the time I go to sleep. So I hope you enjoy this and I hope you've had a lovely few days.


	35. Crushed

Shizuo doesn’t like the rain.

It’s been raining for hours. It wasn’t when he left the apartment that morning, but as soon as they set out for their first client of the day, it started pouring. Varona has an umbrella with her because Namie checked the weather and insisted that she brought it because she didn’t want Varona to end up sick. Shizuo’s not concerned about getting sick because he doesn’t remember the last time it happened, or if he ever has. He’s irritated more than anything else and nothing has even set him off yet. So he knows that the instant someone gives him a reason to explode, it’s going to happen. It’s just a matter of when.

Their first client is lucky and manages to avoid Shizuo’s anger by being polite and not giving excuses. He seems to have genuinely forgotten that he owed anything.

Their second client is not so lucky.

This guy looks like a thug. He looks exactly like one of the assholes that usually harasses women in the streets or demands money from teenagers. He begins by being rude to Tom for knocking on his door, which Shizuo can generally ignore well enough because he has some level of patience, but the damp chill in the air and the wetness of his clothes has him tense and agitated. When he drops a vile comment about Varona’s shirt being white and it raining, Shizuo loses it.

His vision goes red and he’s suddenly furious. He usually doesn’t step in to defend Varona unless she needs the assistance, which has yet to happen, but he is so tightly wound that he can’t help it. Before Varona reacts, before Shizuo has time to think about his actions, his hand is bunched in the guy’s shirt and he has lifted him in the air.

“Apologize.” Shizuo growls. He doesn’t recognize his voice as it comes out, grating and so much like that of an angry lion that he internally flinches. Izaya always tells him that he growls a lot, he just never realized that he sounded like this.

When the guy starts bawling and pleading with Shizuo to let him down, that he’ll pay his debt immediately, Shizuo drops him and paces several strides away, ignoring the looks of his co-workers. He takes out a cigarette and is about to light it when a black blur shoots by him and the stick is taken from his lips.

“What the fuck.” Shizuo glares in the direction the blur went and there is Izaya, smirking and twirling the cigarette between his fingers like he does with his knives.

“These are really bad for you. Does Shizu-chan want to get lung cancer?” Izaya tilts his head as Shizuo stalks toward him, “We can’t have that. I need my monster  _ alive _ .”

Izaya shows up at the worst—or best—times. It seems like every time Shizuo is burning with rage the informant has to make an appearance.

“You better fuckin run if you don’t want me to punch you in your face, louse.” Shizuo growls. No genuine desire to hit the flea is present, but the threat comes out anyway because it’s a habit when they are in public.

Izaya laughs and shoves his hands in his pockets, skips backwards two steps for every forward stride Shizuo makes, “You’d have to catch me first.”

Izaya twists on his heel and starts sprinting, Shizuo following after him as soon as he sees him start to turn. He leads them across roads and through alleyways and into areas that Shizuo isn’t familiar with, all the while dodging the street signs and whatever else Shizuo manages to find to throw at him.

“Is that all you’ve got, Shizu-chan?” Izaya calls over his shoulder, amusement laced through his words and turning them into a taunt rather than a question. “I could keep this up all day. You aren’t catching up  _ at all _ .”

Shizuo flinches when he feels a knife slice through his bicep and then grits his teeth against the flare of annoyance. Izaya can always somehow draw blood from him during their chases. He doesn’t see it coming more times than not, and even fewer times is he able to catch the flash of metal before it connects with some part of his body. Izaya is fast, faster than should be humanly possible, but then so is Shizuo. Shizuo is just barely slower than him, just slightly heavier and awkward with parkour, but his resilience and stamina wins out against Izaya if they run for long enough. The chases either end when Izaya is too tired to continue, Shizuo is too frustrated to continue, or they get too worked up and have to find somewhere to blow off steam together.

This particular chase feels like Izaya is leading him somewhere rather than it being directionless as most of them are.

The rain starts coming down harder, pelting into Shizuo’s back and drenching whatever parts of him weren’t already soaked. He ignores all of the pedestrians that are rushing past and out of his way, instead focusing on the black of Izaya’s coat and jeans in front of him. His anger is beginning to fade away and is rapidly being replaced with exhaustion.

When Izaya turns abruptly down a side street and disappears, Shizuo speeds up again. He takes the turn at an odd angle and narrowly misses the far wall, coming face first with a knife and brilliant crimson. He growls and Izaya seems amused by the sound.

He takes a step closer and the knife is leveled with his chest, above his heart, “Has Shizu-chan calmed down yet?”

Shizuo snorts, “It’s your fault I’m pissed off, flea.”

Izaya giggles and smirks. Shizuo takes a step forward, the knife pressing lightly against his chest but not drawing blood for once. “You were angry when I showed up. That wasn’t my fault.”

“Yeah, well. You took my cigarette and made me chase you around the city with your obnoxious voice.” The metal presses more harshly into him, “I would’ve been fine if you hadn’t been taunting me every five seconds.”

Izaya backs up a step and presses his back into the wall when Shizuo takes another step forward, “I didn’t  _ make  _ you chase me. You could have gone back to your boring job at any time. I wouldn’t have stopped you.”

“You wouldn’t have let me go back to work even if I’d wanted to. I’ve tried that before, remember?” He starts to close the rest of the distance between them so he can shove Izaya against the wall more firmly, unsure what he wants to do, when he feels the knife drag through his shirt and vest. He glances down to see a clean line across his chest, just above the scar that Izaya left on the day they met.

Shizuo narrows his eyes. When he grabs Izaya’s wrist and pins it above his head, the informant doesn’t try to hide the flash of arousal that shivers through him. Shizuo has to hold his breath for a moment at the expression on Izaya’s face before it’s blocked off with a taunting grin.

The hand holding the knife tenses for a brief second and that’s all the warning he gets before his hand is bleeding. Shizuo growls and Izaya laughs breathlessly when he tenses his grip on his wrist to make him drop the knife. “Stop fuckin  _ stabbing  _ me.”

Izaya’s eyes are so bright, almost bleeding scarlet. Shizuo would’ve thought the darkness of the sky would mute the color, but it seems to mute the color of everything else instead. Or maybe Shizuo’s focus has narrowed in on his eyes so much that he isn’t seeing anything else. He doesn’t care which. Not when he’s bleeding and Izaya looks this perfect, even when he’s soaked with rainwater and his hair is plastered to his face. The water is running down his neck and pooling in the depression of his collarbones, drawing Shizuo’s attention down further to the rest of him. 

“Maybe if you stop throwing things at me I’ll stop stabbing you.” Izaya sighs, the words sound only superficially exasperated. There is heat in the words, very thinly veiled behind an attempt at nonchalance. “But we both know that won’t happen.” 

“I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t piss me off.” Shizuo’s eyes trail back up to meet with Izaya’s, briefly catching him biting his lip. 

“You complain too much.” Izaya states. Shizuo wants to argue against this, is working on getting the words out of his mouth when Izaya rocks forward. He brings one of his legs up around Shizuo’s hip to gain leverage and pulls him closer into a kiss. 

He knows that he should be paying more attention to where they are, how anyone could see them, to the fact that it is still pouring rain and that this isn’t appropriate or that Izaya could be tricking him, but he can’t find it in him to think about any of those things when sharp canines dig into his bottom lip and urge him forward. 

Izaya’s fingers find their way into his hair and his legs wrap around Shizuo’s hips when he lifts him up further against the wall. Shizuo doesn’t stop kissing him, doesn’t pause to breathe, until he feels something dig into his back. When he pulls back with a confused look on his face, Izaya smirks and pulls one of his hands back around to show the knife he’s holding, flicking it closed and slipping it into his pocket. “We should go home if you want to continue this. It’s still raining and it’s getting dark. I’m sure we’ll be more comfortable in the apartment. It’ll definitely be  _ warmer _ there.” 

The wind blows through them then, drawing Shizuo’s attention away from Izaya’s body against his and to their surroundings. He isn’t sure how long they’ve been here, but now that he’s paying attention and sees how dark it is he is concerned about Izaya getting sick from being out in the rain for so long. Izaya giggles and slides his fingers through Shizuo’s hair to draw his attention back to him, “I’m fine, Shizu-chan.” 

Shizuo carefully helps Izaya stand and fixes his hood back into place so his face is protected from the rain at least, “We should take a bath when we get home to make sure you warm up. My body heat won’t be enough. Especially considering how soaked we both are.” 

Izaya hugs his arms around his chest and nods, “It’s colder than I thought it was. I should have led us inside somewhere.” 

Shizuo glances at the signs around them and spots several places they could have gone into, even a hotel that seems acceptable enough for Izaya’s standards of weird places to lead him. He points over at it and glances down at Izaya’s shivering frame, “We could go in there.” 

“No. I want to go  _ home _ .” Izaya purrs, his voice dropping into something heated despite how cold he looks, “I can get a ride.” 

When Shizuo narrows his eyes Izaya laughs at him, “I meant a taxi. What’d you think I meant?” 

A taxi pulls up along the curb for them after a few moments of waiting. Izaya grins at him after they’ve settled in the backseat and the driver has started driving them home, “Are you sure your body heat won’t be enough? It’s warming me up right now.” 

The informant has deliberately placed himself in the center of the back seat, knowing that Shizuo would sit next to him and that he would be warmer that way. Shizuo doesn’t mind the fact that he’s taking advantage of that, especially with how cold he obviously is, but he doesn’t appreciate the insinuation behind the words. “You tell me that  _ I’m  _ impatient.” Shizuo growls under his breath, glancing down at him and trying to ignore the flash of arousal he sees in his eyes, “You’re the one that can’t wait until we get home and warm up first.” 

“That’s because Shizu-chan is better than a space heater.” Izaya argues, his voice a bit breathless as he says Shizuo’s nickname, “But I’m hardly against taking a bath. You do kind of smell like a wet dog.” 

Shizuo snorts and brushes his fingers along Izaya’s cheekbone to push his hair back behind his ear, “At least I don’t look like a drowned cat.” 

Izaya’s lips flatten into a thin line, “I do not.” 

“You do too,” Shizuo smirks, “ _ kitten _ .” 

The car comes to a too-fast halt and whatever the informant wanted to say in protest is lost as they try to catch themselves against the seats and, in Izaya’s case, Shizuo’s shirt. The driver mumbles some excuse that Shizuo can’t hear and then continues on like nothing happened. 

Izaya has pressed himself into Shizuo’s chest and looks like he could curl up and fall asleep like that, but when he looks up he doesn’t look the slightest bit tired. He’s glaring at him and he would worry about yet another knife stabbing into him if they weren’t in a taxi with someone to see it. “And you smell like a flea, so it isn’t like I’m the only one that smells like they’ve been out in the rain for hours.” 

“Well who kept us out that late? You could have stopped chasing me. I wouldn’t have continued without you.” Izaya pulls his arms back from their hold on Shizuo’s shoulders and crosses them over his chest as he settles back into the seat, “I do not stink.” 

“Didn’t say you stink. I just said you smell like you’ve been out in the rain for hours. There is a difference.” Shizuo rolls his eyes when Izaya’s cheeks puff out slightly in a pout, “You already know how much I like the way you smell. I just don’t like it when it’s masked by other things.” 

“That’s because you’re ridiculously possessive.” Izaya grumbles, turning his head away from Shizuo and looking out the opposite window. They’re almost at the apartment building. They must have wandered further than Shizuo thought they did because he expected the ride to take at least half an hour. 

After smiling brightly at the cab driver and paying him, Izaya had wrapped his arms firmly around his body and ignored Shizuo all the way inside the building and into the elevator, where he stayed silent. And yet, Shizuo is the one to get to the door first, shoving it open and waiting for Izaya to enter before closing it. He barely has his shoes off before Izaya is on him, tugging him forward by his vest and bowtie. 

He doesn’t know how they make it upstairs without breaking anything. Neither of them have good balance with how wet their clothes are, but Izaya doesn’t seem to notice at all since he’s letting Shizuo carry most of his weight for him. They almost fall twice as they cross their bedroom because Izaya is so intent on holding onto Shizuo’s hair and trying to yank his belt off at the same time. It takes him a few tries before he gets the belt loose and then he’s undoing Shizuo’s vest and shirt. With how frantic Izaya’s fingers are, how desperately he clings to Shizuo and whines every time Shizuo separates to breathe, Shizuo isn’t able to do much but continue to half carry him to the bathroom. He wants Izaya’s shirt off, yanks on the edges of the fabric to drag Izaya backward against the sink to hold him still with his fingers splayed across his abdomen. 

“Wait.” Shizuo growls under his breath. Izaya shudders when he pulls away, his eyes half lidded, his pupils wide, lips parted on small gasps. Shizuo has to look away to focus on getting the plug set in the drain so he can start the water. When he turns back around Izaya has his shirt off and is trying to undo the button and zipper on his pants. His own shirt is only half undone because Izaya didn’t finish yanking his buttons off. He feels like he should be more annoyed by this. “Let me do it.” 

Izaya looks up and glares at his shirt like it has personally offended him. His fingers are cold against his skin when he finally gets all the buttons undone. Shizuo pushes Izaya toward the bath as soon as they are both undressed, “You’re really cold. Why didn’t you say something earlier?” 

Izaya doesn’t let go of his hair or shoulder and drags him into the water with him, laughing loudly when Shizuo throws one of his arms forward to catch himself on the wall and accidentally leaves a small dent. 

Shizuo glares at him and shoves him as far back as his body will allow before settling into the opposite end of the tub, “Shut up.” 

As soon as Shizuo lets go of Izaya he's trying to climb into his lap. Shizuo presses his palm against his chest to stop him, “I'm not fucking you in the tub. That was a disaster last time.” 

“Aw, come on Shizu-chan.” Izaya whines, still sitting up on his knees and trying to work his way around Shizuo's arm, “It wasn't that bad.” 

“We had to replace the whole thing. We can’t use it if it has a huge hole in it.” 

Izaya frowns and settles back so he can reach for his shampoo, apparently wanting to get out quicker since Shizuo isn’t playing his game, “You could be more careful this time.” 

Shizuo mirrors his actions, but keeps an eye on him just in case, “It wasn’t just my fault.” 

“It was mostly your fault.” Izaya grumbles, but is otherwise silent and doesn’t try to climb on top of him again. Which Shizuo is thankful for until they are out of the bath and he’s trying to dry Izaya’s hair on the bed and he is yanked forward by his own. Izaya seems to really like pulling his hair and it doesn’t hurt so he doesn’t protest. 

He stops kissing Izaya long enough to glance up at the side table to see if they left the lube on it. It’s exactly where he left it last time and he reaches for it only to jerk forward when Izaya grinds up against him. His hand closes on the lamp instead and the porcelain shatters almost instantly. Izaya starts to laugh when he sees what happened. He doesn’t stop laughing until Shizuo shoves a lube covered finger into him, dragging out a moan instead. “You’re lucky I wasn’t holding the lube, 'zaya. That shit would be everywhere.” 

Izaya tries to respond, but Shizuo drags back and shoves in again. “You’ve already stabbed me twice today, adding a broken lamp to the already foul mood I’ve been in is not a good idea.”

Izaya gasps when he slides in another finger, his eyes flutter closed and his back arches for a moment, “You just don’t like the rain.” He spreads his legs a bit more and lets out a small moan before he manages to meet Shizuo’s eyes again, “I thought I’d come find you to put you in a better mood.”

Shizuo raises an eyebrow, but is distracted before he can ask how exactly stabbing him was meant to put him in a good mood. Izaya reaches up to wind his fingers in blond hair and brings him into another kiss. He completely loses his line of thought when Izaya wraps his legs around his waist. 

He isn't in a bad mood anymore, so it doesn't really matter anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have alot of mixed feelings about this chapter. For one thing it took me nearly a week to write it, and for that I am very sorry, but also I was constantly struggling with the direction it was going. It was just going to end with Izaya stabbing Shizuo and running off and the chase continuing. But that didn't happen obviously. 
> 
> I'm going to ignore my own opinion about it though. I hope you like it, I hope I can write another faster than this because wow I feel lazy, and I hope you're having a fantastic week!!


	36. Inclined

Sometimes they binge watch movies in the evenings. Izaya has been particularly interested in superhero movies lately and has collected them for tonight. He even went so far as to send Namie out with a grocery list of snacks. Shizuo didn’t know that he was going to do that or he would have offered to pick everything up on his way home. Which is probably why Izaya did it. He’s impatient enough when Shizuo spends an extra five minutes talking with Celty outside the building when she gives him rides. 

“Shizu-chaaan, are you ready yet?” Izaya whines from the couch, wrapped up in two blankets and pajamas because it’s been cold today and Shizuo didn’t want him complaining about his toes or fingers being freezing in the middle of the first movie. 

“Almost. Why don’t you just start it and I’ll be in there before the movie actually starts.” Shizuo calls from the kitchen. He’s been trying to make hot chocolate for them, but Izaya keeps distracting him. 

Izaya sighs, but the movie doesn’t start. He smirks when he hears another sigh in the kitchen doorway. “We’re supposed to watch them  _ together _ . That’s the point.” 

“I’m almost done. You’re going to get cold.” Shizuo glances over his shoulder at Izaya to see him bundled up in both blankets, the only parts of him that are visible are his fingers and his face. “Do you want marshmallows?” 

Izaya gives him a disgusted look, “No.” Then he blinks and looks over at the countertop beside Shizuo at the coffee marshmallows, “What are those?”

“You said you didn’t like normal ones so I texted Namie to ask her if she could pick some up for you along with all the other crap you had her get. Varona wasn’t happy about that, by the way. I won’t be surprised if she kicks your ass at some point.” 

Izaya huffs and pads over to stand beside him and stares down at the coffee marshmallows, “Are they any good?” 

Shizuo shrugs, “You won’t know that you like them if you don’t try them.” He finishes stirring the mixture in both cups and picks them up so he can bring them into the living room to set on the coffee table. Izaya follows after him and he hears the crinkle of plastic. “I can eat them if you don’t like them.” 

He carefully puts the mugs on the table, making sure not to spill anything and putting them on top of the tray they set out earlier to protect the surface from staining. When he sits down Izaya climbs into his lap and loosens the blankets so that Shizuo can slip inside them and cuddle him. Izaya makes a pleased humming sound and leans his head on Shizuo’s shoulder, “Now are you ready?” 

“Yeah. Now we can start.” The remote is already in the couch cushions within reach so Shizuo picks it up and starts the first of about a dozen movies. By the time they get through the first three, Izaya is starting to doze off. Occasionally he mumbles something about what’s happening on the screen or comments on how comfortable he is or how warm Shizuo’s hands are, but it’s obvious that he’s fighting off sleep at this point. “Do you want to go to bed, ‘zaya?” 

Izaya curls his fingers slightly tighter in Shizuo’s hair and he can feel his eyelashes flutter against the side of his neck. “...not tired.” he grumbles in a voice that betrays how asleep he is. 

Shizuo decides not to argue. He’s enjoying the movie and Izaya is less irritating when he’s sleepy and doesn’t have the energy to tease him. He slowly slides sideways until they are lying down. Izaya snuggles closer to him, dragging the blankets more firmly toward his chest and burrowing deeper in them until he’s completely covered by the soft material. A few minutes of quiet breathing go by before he pokes his head out to kiss Shizuo’s jaw, then he disappears again and Shizuo’s chest rumbles with silent laughter. He can feel Izaya’s thighs tense on either side of his stomach and then relax again when Shizuo skims a hand down his back. 

Izaya doesn’t move for a long enough time that Shizuo is convinced he is asleep before he jumps at the sound of an explosion, nearly tipping sideways but latching his fingers in Shizuo’s shirt and hissing annoyance at being awakened. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to bed? We can watch this tomorrow night.” Shizuo murmurs when Izaya pulls the blankets away from his face so he can glare at the television. 

When he doesn’t protest, Shizuo takes that as a sign that he is too exhausted to claim otherwise and collects him in his arms after shutting off the movie and turning off the lights. The room is still faintly illuminated by the lights from the buildings surrounding theirs and it’s just light enough for Shizuo to see Izaya’s eyes falling shut as he carries him up the stairs. It’s easy for them to climb into bed because they are already in their pajamas and the blankets are already wrapped around Izaya’s body. 

They are always going to have time for movies. Shizuo feels like it’s better for Izaya to sleep and have the energy for work the following day than for him to struggle to stay awake all night and be in a foul mood the next morning. 

When Izaya is settled beside him and they are both covered by blankets, Shizuo leans in so he can kiss his forehead, “Goodnight Izaya.” 

He doesn’t see the faint smile on Izaya’s lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izaya is such a cute sleepy mess of a person and he has the sweetest boyfriend in the world. Sometimes. They finally let me have a sleepy cuddle chapter and I am very pleased with how it turned out.
> 
> I really like movie nights. It's been a long time since I had one and even longer since I was able to have one with someone I'm close with. Eventually it'll happen though. I'm excited about the future. This fic is really fun to write and I'm enjoying every minute of it. I hope you like this chapter and I genuinely wish everyone a wonderful day.


	37. Harassed

“Shizu-chan is taking too long.” Izaya calls from across the counter. He’s only been waiting for all of two minutes and this is the third time he’s demanded that Shizuo remake his coffee.

Shizuo can’t see him from behind the machine and is trying not to look at him too much anyway because he doesn’t want his co-workers to see the blush coloring his cheeks. He’s embarrassed. He has been complemented on the drinks he’s made numerous times by customers and by the people he works with, but that doesn’t help the situation he’s currently in. The woman working the cashier isn’t trying to conceal her amusement and Izaya is the only customer in the shop right now so no one is going to be distracted from watching him. He doesn’t like all of the attention and accidentally spills coffee over his fingers when he turns too quickly while reaching for a lid. “Fuck.”

There is another burst of laughter from his boyfriend and Izaya is still standing in the only place Shizuo can’t see him from where he is. The heat of the liquid doesn’t burn, but he has to clean it up before it gets sticky. He clicks the lid into place on the cup and places it on the counter where Izaya can get to it before turning around to dig in the drawer under the coffee machine for something to clean up the mess with.

This isn’t the first time Izaya has done this. Shizuo is pretty sure that he’s missing class or something, but he doesn’t seem to care all that much. Probably because he has finished all the coursework already and is wasting time before he has a meeting with some shady asshole. But Shizuo doesn’t know and doesn’t care what he does as long as he gets the fuck out of the cafe before he strangles him. He doesn’t need to be fired from yet another job.

Izaya makes a disgusted sound and Shizuo rolls his eyes, “Did you put cream in this? It’s too sweet.”

He can clearly hear the smug smile on the bastard’s face, but he picks up a cup to start making another of the same drink anyway. He can hear Izaya speaking with the two women about him, but he’s trying his best to ignore everything they say. They’re only talking about Shizuo’s habit of eating sweets at the moment, so he isn’t too worried about that turning to something he needs to interrupt. Preferably by throwing Izaya through the door.

It isn’t like he has much that he can tell them as it is. He wouldn’t even admit that they are dating until about a month ago, so Shizuo can’t imagine him wanting to divulge any sort of information.

All he could really talk about is their sleeping habits anyway.

When he finishes another cup of coffee that is essentially exactly the same as the last one, he reaches to set it on the counter but Izaya is there to take it from his hand this time. Izaya’s phone starts to ring just as his fingers meet Shizuo’s and he pauses to see who it is. His expression changes into something more serious for a brief moment before he looks back up to meet Shizuo’s eyes. He smiles faintly and Shizuo lets his hand linger for a few seconds more than he needs to. Izaya walks backward and waves at the women, rapidly making his retreat out the door but not before smirking at Shizuo. His eyes flash mischievously and Shizuo knows he’s not going to like the next words to come out of his mouth. “I’m going to be late for a meeting because of you, so you owe me dinner tonight! See you later, Shizu-chan.”

And just like that, he’s bringing his phone up to his ear and disappearing out the door. Shizuo’s co-workers are staring at him, but he is more interested in the floor than the looks they are giving him. He thinks that maybe if he concentrates hard enough on the tile, he’ll lose the urge to murder his boyfriend on their date tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't really written much about the time frame before they moved in together, so I thought I'd go back to that. Izaya is an asshole, but all he really wants to do is spend time with Shizuo while making it seem like that's the opposite of what he's doing. It's great. I love writing about Shizuo working in coffee shops. It just seems like something he would like, if he could do it without losing patience. It smells wonderful and there are cakes and hot chocolate that he could have if he didn't want coffee because it's bitter. 
> 
> I ramble a lot. I hope you enjoy the chapter and I hope you had a lovely day!!


	38. Frayed

They spend their lunch periods on the roof. Most of the time Shizuo ends up pissed off by something Izaya does and they end up getting back to class late and looking like they have been in a fight. Which is only accurate about half the time.

“Stop shoving your knee into my stomach.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you wouldn’t push me into the wall.”

“You keep squirming.”

“That’s because you aren’t holding onto me.”

“Yes I am.”

“Not the way I want you to.”

Shizuo hesitates to ask what he means by that. He thinks he knows, but if he’s right then he really doesn’t want to continue this conversation. He starts to crawl sideways to put a bit of distance between them but Izaya yanks on his hair and presses the nails of his other hand hard into Shizuo’s wrist. He glares into Izaya’s eyes but Izaya is leaning forward, trying to press his lips to his again and Shizuo lets him because he can never find the coherency for actual words when they’ve been kissing for so long.

Izaya’s lips are soft. The first time Shizuo kissed him he’d assumed that they would be sharp to match his words, but they are the exact opposite. Shizuo doesn’t have experience kissing anyone other than Izaya, but he feels like Izaya is more than enough. He’s insistent, constantly trying to get Shizuo to let him settle in his lap by distracting him with his tongue and the small pleased sounds he makes when Shizuo responds to his teasing with force.

Shizuo leans forward, one of his hands pressing bruises into Izaya’s hip and the other holding his weight so that they don’t topple over. Unfortunately he isn’t prepared for Izaya to lay back and pull him on top of him. He loses his balance and they both fall the short distance off the bench to the concrete below them. His palm ends up scraped and he hits his elbow on the metal of the bench in his attempt to catch himself, “Fuck.”

“Eloquent as ever, Shizu-chan.” Izaya lilts beside his ear. When Shizuo shoots a glare in his direction he’s still right there, apparently trusting that Shizuo isn’t in the mood to punch him or shove his face into the ground.

“Shut up.” Shizuo grabs Izaya’s shoulder and pushes him firmly onto his back and sits up so he can look down at him. Izaya grins and reaches out toward the edges of Shizuo’s blazer, silently demanding that he remove the layer of clothing.

He’s tried this before. Shizuo is convinced that Izaya wants to make him think that he’s willing to go through with it despite the obvious hesitation that he always sees once they break through a certain point. The hesitation is there the instant the jacket comes off of his shoulders, Shizuo can see it flash through his expression too quickly for Izaya to hide it completely.

He takes a breath and moves away from Izaya so that he can sit with his back against the bench, letting the cool metal distract him and working to catch some coherence while Izaya’s skin isn’t against his lips.

Izaya doesn’t move. Shizuo can feel his eyes on him, but he doesn’t want to look at him until he knows that he’ll be able say something other than expletives. Izaya is too much of a distraction, he demands every bit of attention Shizuo has to offer every time they are anywhere near each other. He’s worried even now that Izaya is going to stab him or attack him or try to convince him of something that neither of them are ready for yet. It’s obvious in how awkward their movements are, how difficult it is for Shizuo to find the restraint in his hands not to press just past the point of comfortable pressure, in the panic that he clearly sees in Izaya’s eyes every time either of them make a move toward anything more.

When he has finally caught his breath and his thoughts aren’t completely clouded by the smell of Izaya’s skin, he glances down to see what the other is doing. He’s unsurprised by the dissatisfaction he sees in Izaya’s expression.

Sometimes Shizuo has moments of clarity where he knows exactly why Izaya does the things he does. At least half of the panic he sees from him is fear that Shizuo will leave him. None of the students at the school or any person he has ever met has been like Izaya. Izaya might fear Shizuo’s boredom or that he might leave him, but Shizuo is committed to him. He knows that he wouldn’t ever find someone that would make him feel the same way, though he still finds himself constantly arguing that he doesn’t feel anything for Izaya. Nor does he feel like he could find someone that challenges him as much as Izaya does and though he doesn’t think that is the healthiest thing to want in a relationship, it’s what he has and it’s what he wants. “It doesn’t have to be now, y’know. I’m not going anywhere.”

Izaya inhales sharply and he half expects an irritated retort, but he looks surprised rather than irritated. Like that is the exact opposite thing from what he expected Shizuo to say. He sits up and smirks at him, “Why would I be worried about a monster leaving? If anything that would make me happier. And besides, all I wanted was for you to take off your jacket. That doesn’t automatically mean that I want to ride your dick, Shizu-chan. It’s just too hot for you to have it on.”

Shizuo’s skin flushes hotter for a second and then he’s growling, “I wasn’t thinking anything like that.”

“Then what were you thinking? Your protozoan brain is misinterpreting something obviously. Otherwise you wouldn’t have stopped kissing me.” Izaya pushes himself up onto his knees and leans closer to Shizuo, placing one of his hands on the bench and the other on the middle of Shizuo’s chest. “You’re thinking too much.”

“Or you’re not thinking enough. I’m not an idiot, flea. I can see how you react to things.”

Izaya rolls his eyes and swings one of his legs over to settle beside Shizuo’s hip so he can sit in his lap, “I’ve thought about it plenty.” Izaya grabs one of Shizuo’s hands and tugs it up to his chest so he can feel his heartbeat, “All I want to do  _ right now _ is kiss you.”

“Break is probably almost over…” Shizuo tries to argue, tries to gently pull his hand away but can’t convince his body to move at all with Izaya firmly planted in his lap and staring at him that intensely. His lips are faintly flushed from their earlier session and Shizuo would feel bad about that if he wasn’t certain that his own have been bitten to all hell.

Izaya leans forward and tugs on his lip with his teeth, drawing blood out of the wound he’s already made inside Shizuo’s mouth, “Do you actually care?”

Shizuo moves his hand that isn’t being held above Izaya’s heart up to his hip, intending to push him away but instead only holding onto him, “I don’t really want to get detention for skipping class.”

“We aren’t destroying anything if we’re up here doing this.” Izaya tilts his head and speaks against his ear, “Unless you want to.”

Shizuo can feel Izaya’s heartbeat speed up, knows that his own skipped a beat because that was the most ridiculous line Izaya has tried on him this week. His fingers press a bit harder into Izaya’s hipbone and he feels something in the pocket of his jacket when it brushes over the back of his hand. His eyebrows furrow in confusion because that is definitely not a knife. It’s too small and it feels like a tube of something. “Izaya, what is that?”

Izaya kisses Shizuo’s jawline a few times, “What is what?”

Shizuo works his fingers into the pocket and pulls out the tube. He drops it as soon as he reads what it is, “What the fuck, Izaya? You brought that to  _ school _ ?”

Izaya huffs out a breath in annoyance and sits back so that Shizuo can see a raised eyebrow, “Well yeah, why wouldn’t I? I like to be prepared.”

“Prepared for  _ what _ ?”

Izaya rolls his eyes, “You aren’t that dense, are you? It’s going to happen eventually.”

“Yeah, eventually being  _ not at school _ .” Shizuo growls.

Izaya sighs and stands up, walking away a few feet before turning back to Shizuo with a grin that sets Shizuo’s teeth on edge, “Well, since you’re obviously not in the mood to kiss me anymore.” He reaches into the pocket that didn’t contain the offensive object and flicks open a knife, “We might as well make use of our extra energy.”

It isn’t a surprise to anyone when they come back to class bloody and disheveled. Shizuo’s shirt is torn and half untucked and he’s bleeding from several cuts across various parts of his body. Izaya has bruises from all the places Shizuo got his hands on and one of his arms is bleeding from tripping over Shizuo’s jacket that they’d completely forgotten about by that point. Shinra bursts out laughing and Kadota looks at him like an exhausted parent.

Shizuo and Izaya get two days of detention for fighting. Shinra gets lectured for laughing about their violent tendencies. Kadota goes home and tries to pretend that the three of them aren’t his friends. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like how funny Shinra seems to think this entire thing is. Mostly because it really is amusing. Poor Kadota just wants to get away from these three idiots and have semi-normal friends. I'm going to ignore what Shizuo and Izaya want because that was already touched on and you all know what happens with their relationship in the future anyway even if they don't. 
> 
> I'm sorry this took so long. I've had a lot going on and I keep getting really dissatisfied with everything I write lately. It'll pass eventually. I think I should try to force it to leave by actually sticking to my writing schedule, but we'll see if that happens. College and family and life things keep getting in the way. I'm going to try to get something up later today or tomorrow. 
> 
> I hope you like the chapter and I hope you've had a wonderful week.
> 
> Also, I just remembered to say this. I'm working on the different parts of this series. So look forward to seeing different perspectives eventually :)


	39. Shattered

Shizuo knows he’s dreaming.

He’s in a huge crowd of people. He can hear horns blaring, gang members jabbing at each other, and the grate of metal on pavement. When he turns to look back at where the sound is coming from he can see that it’s from the vending machine he’s dragging behind himself. Further inspection of his body and clothing leaves him confused. His right arm is broken and the sleeves of his dress shirt are ripped or burned in several places. When he looks up again he’s startled and confused by what he sees.

Izaya is standing several yards in front of him, holding his left side and leaning forward in a way that suggests intense pain. There is blood on his lips and he’s sneering as he points a large knife toward Shizuo.

Shizuo knows that this is a dream because he would never do this. He would never glare menacingly at Izaya with the intention of murdering him. He would never deliberately attack Izaya when he’s so clearly in pain.

Shizuo has the distinct impression that this is all  _ his  _ doing. That he’s the one that put Izaya in this state. And continues to do so while he’s trapped in his own body watching it happen.

When he lands a glancing blow to Izaya’s right shoulder it’s only because something explodes somewhere nearby. While he’s still off balance Shizuo rushes forward, aiming a punch for Izaya’s chest. His fist connects with his forearms instead. He feels and hears the bones shatter under the force of it as Izaya is thrown backward.

Shizuo wakes up, shooting upright in bed and finding his pillow an exploded, feathery mess in his hand. Izaya stirs and rubs his eyes before sitting up to stare in confusion at Shizuo’s pillow and the feathers still floating around in the air, “What happened?”

“Just a bad dream.” Shizuo says this in as calm a voice as he can manage, but he knows Izaya doesn't believe him because of the set of his shoulders and the way he disentangles himself from the blankets so he can climb into Shizuo's arms.

Izaya touches his fingertips to Shizuo's cheekbone and frowns ever so slightly, “You're crying. It wasn't just a bad dream. What was it about?”

Shizuo exhales slowly and brings one hand up to slide along the length of Izaya's arm, “I hurt you.” Izaya opens his mouth, probably to reassure him, but he shakes his head to silence him, “It was different from any other time I've been afraid of hurting you. This time it was intentional. I wanted to kill you. I almost succeeded. Your arms…” Shizuo trails off and gently runs his fingers along Izaya's forearm.

“My arms are fine, Shizu-chan. You know it was a dream.” Izaya slides his thumb across Shizuo's lips and tilts his head, “I know you wouldn't do that and so do you.”

“It was awful. You were in so much pain already and I know it was my fault.” Shizuo feels along Izaya's stomach, slipping his fingers under his shirt so he can reassure himself that nothing is broken or bleeding.

Izaya shivers, arching into Shizuo's touch, “It was just a dream, Shizu—”

“I’m just feeling you. I like touching you.” Shizuo mumbles, leaning forward and fitting his lips to Izaya's forehead and then the bridge of his nose, stops just shy of contact with his lips, “Is that not allowed?”

Izaya makes a frustrated noise that sounds a bit like a hiss, drags his fingernails along Shizuo's jaw and into his hair, “I  _ suppose  _ I can distract you for a while.”

Shizuo breathes out a laugh and fits his free hand to the center of his spine, holding Izaya’s weight as he leans him back enough that he can press his lips to Izaya’s throat and collarbones, “Shut up.”

“Don’t you want me to distract you?” Izaya asks. He goes to say something else but gasps instead when Shizuo shoves his shirt up further and slides his thumb across his ribs. He does it mostly to get Izaya to be silent, but he wants to trail his fingers over every inch of Izaya’s skin as well.

The nightmare is fading from his mind and being replaced with the haze of half-sleep and arousal and having Izaya here is exactly what he needs. “You’re distracting enough when you don’t say anything.” Shizuo states, his voice dropping lower toward the end of the sentence.

The fingers in his hair tense as he plays with the waistband of the sweatpants Izaya’s wearing, trailing his hand around a hip and to the dip of his lower back. The base of Izaya’s spine is incredibly sensitive. Izaya’s back arches further and he makes a small pleased sound in the back of his throat, “I thought you said you love my voice.” Izaya tries to purr.

Shizuo can feel the effort of his words through his back where he’s still holding his weight. Izaya’s fingers in his hair are tensed into fists and he would assume that was an instinctive response to being off balance but he knows it’s more from the touches he’s currently feathering across the edges of Izaya’s briefs and the strength behind the hold of Shizuo’s hand on his back. “I do,” Shizuo responds automatically, “I just also like it when I can get you to stop talking.”

“I don’t remember a time when that has happened, Shizu-chan.” Izaya says with startling ease, the shudders roaming through his body stopping long enough for him to speak unobstructed.

Shizuo doesn’t argue the point. Izaya always manages to have something to say. He’s only ever completely silent when he’s asleep and that’s not always the case. He mumbles in his sleep occasionally, usually incomprehensible words, but sometimes it comes out clearly as Shizuo’s name and it startles him awake in concern. Concern that only lasts as long as it takes for him to feel Izaya still sleeping in his arms and see the relaxed expression on his face.

Shizuo presses a kiss to the middle of Izaya’s chest and pulls him upright into his lap, “We should sleep.” The idea isn’t the most appealing, especially when he feels the extent of Izaya’s interest pressed against his stomach and knows he is in the same state, but neither of them can really afford to miss nearly an entire night of sleep. Shizuo has to get up early and Izaya has a meeting only half an hour after that he has stressed the importance of a few times over the past few days.

Izaya narrows his eyes and doesn’t release the tight hold he has on Shizuo’s hair, wraps his legs more firmly around Shizuo’s hips. “We have time,” is what he purrs against Shizuo’s lips, pulling a low growl from him when he bites down almost-painfully on his lower lip.

Shizuo’s hand reflexively tightens around the flesh of Izaya’s ass and Izaya groans, so far back in his throat that Shizuo half-worries that he’s hurting him until the teeth biting into his lip loosen and are replaced with the soft press of a tongue.

“Sorry,” Shizuo murmurs, dragging his hand up to a safe distance from Izaya’s ass, “you shouldn’t bite me when my hands are on your ass.”

Izaya giggles and pulls one of his hands free from the death grip he has on Shizuo’s hair so he can press it to his chest instead, “I like having your hands on my ass and bruises are a nice reminder that this isn’t a dream.” Izaya settles more firmly against Shizuo and smiles, “And I like being able to feel what you do to me throughout the day while you aren’t around.”

“If I do too much someone might think I’m actually hurting you.” Shizuo sighs and pulls Izaya into an embrace rather than heated kissing, lets his lips skim across Izaya’s neck while he talks, “Not that anyone can see the bruises that’s going to leave on your ass, but they might notice that you aren’t skipping around as much as usual.”

“I doubt anyone would really notice. Not even Namie comments on how I walk, unless it’s incredibly obvious like how it was last week.” Shizuo can hear the amusement in his voice even if he can’t see the smirk across his lips, “She called us disgusting. I think I should have had her take the day off. She tried to poison my tea again.”

Shizuo chuckles, “What did you say that made her want to poison you?” He’s starting to feel himself being lulled to sleep by Izaya’s heartbeat so he slowly settles back against the pillows and Izaya tugs the blankets back over top of them but doesn’t move to get out of his lap. Instead he lays his head on Shizuo’s shoulder and lowers his voice.

“I told her that I never comment when I see her come in with bruises, so she shouldn’t feel the urge to say anything to me about mine unless she wants me to jab at her about what she does with Varona.”

Shizuo slides one of his hands free from Izaya’s shirt and starts running his fingers through Izaya’s hair. He can feel Izaya starting to fall asleep as well and knows that they’re both going to be grateful that they went to sleep rather than staying up when they wake up in a few hours. “You two are so vicious with each other. I don’t understand how you ever manage to be in the same room without fighting.”

“That only ever happens when we’re really busy, I think. Or if you are around.” Izaya yawns and plays with the edges of Shizuo’s hair distractedly, “Though sometimes she is worse when you’re around. I suppose it depends on her mood, really.”

Shizuo has his eyes closed now but raises an eyebrow that he isn’t sure Izaya is even looking at, “She’s the only one whose mood that depends on? I have heard you provoke her before.”

Izaya shrugs, “I wouldn’t provoke her if she wouldn’t look at me like I’m in the process of kicking a puppy or something.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Shizuo yawns again and nuzzles his face into Izaya’s neck, “hey, ‘zaya.”

Izaya hums and stills his fingers motions in Shizuo’s hair, his breathing slow enough that Shizuo can tell he’s also at the brink of sleep, “…yeah?”

The intonation isn’t quite there to indicate the question it’s meant to be, but Shizuo continues anyway, “I’m happy that I have you.”

There is a faint stutter in Izaya’s heart rate, a slight pause in his next inhale, and his fingers curl ever so slightly in blond hair, “I am too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two are going to be the death of me in one way or another. Shizuo is the most ridiculously sappy man on the face of this planet. And Izaya is just. So completely unable to do anything when this happens. The adoration and love is incredibly tangible at the end, at the very least. It's so sweet. 
> 
> I hope this is actually as good as I feel about it. I had to go back and watch Ketsu to see actual motions and then realized that it was a nightmare and I didn't actually have to torment myself again but here we are. After four more times of me watching Shizuo shatter Izaya's body. And my soul. It's fine though. Fluff makes up for the pain. I still didn't have either of them say I love you, but I feel like those words are special so I can't just throw them around as these two. They wouldn't do that. Other words are just as effective. 
> 
> Anyway~ I'm terribly sorry that this has taken me so long to do. The idea just stayed there and wouldn't leave so I had to write this one but I didn't want to because watching Ketsu so I put it off. And I really shouldn't do things like that. It doesn't make it any better or easier when I wait. It just makes me think about it more. I hope all of you have been doing alright and that you are happy and healthy and know that you are amazing people.


	40. Warmed

Shizuo hasn’t bothered to get a haircut in a while and it is beginning to irritate him.

Normally he just ignores it and it’s fine because it’s just hair. But it’s been windy lately so it’s interfering with his vision at work. Every time he leans forward to look at something Izaya is trying to show him on his phone or computer it falls directly into his face, despite the fact that he has it shoved behind his ears at the time.

A haircut would fix the problem, but he hasn’t really decided to make the time and Izaya hasn’t cut it yet even when they have had the time because their free hours are spent on much more important activities.

It gets on his nerves every time he tries to cook something on the stovetop. So when he casually picks up one of the things the twins have left lying around the apartment it’s with very little regard for appearance and entirely for convenience that he pulls his hair back into a ponytail. Izaya is across the room at his desktop typing something that he claims is important and Shizuo has music playing faintly from the stereo that’s meant to keep his mind from wandering too much from what he’s cooking. When he glances over at Izaya he can see him tapping idly along with the rhythm.

Shizuo smirks and starts humming quietly while he cooks, eventually finding himself singing and he’s enjoying himself so thoroughly that he fails to see the look Izaya is throwing at him. It takes a change in song to something quiet for him to notice that Izaya isn’t typing anymore. When he glances over at him his eyes are on Shizuo. His mouth is turned down in confusion and his head is tilted ever so slightly.

Shizuo is tempted to reach up to feel if there is anything on his face, but Izaya forces his gaze back onto his computer. Shizuo raises an eyebrow, but shrugs it off as Izaya getting distracted and staring at him while thinking about something because that tends to happen.

He goes back to humming along to the music and when a song he’s particularly fond of comes on he starts singing again. He’s in the process of plating the food he’s made when he notices Izaya staring at him again. He doesn’t say anything, just finishes singing the song and brings the food over to the coffee table so they can eat together when Izaya gets off his computer.

Izaya doesn’t move at all other than following Shizuo with his eyes. Shizuo frowns at him, “What’s wrong with you? Is there something on my face?”

Izaya very slowly shakes his head and Shizuo grows more confused, “What is it then?” he turns off the stereo and walks over to stand beside Izaya, “Did I do something?”

Izaya blinks a few times and drags his focus back to his computer before speaking quietly, “I’ve never seen you wear your hair like that and you don’t usually sing when I’m around.”

Shizuo completely forgot that his hair was pulled back and brings a hand up to tug the tie loose but Izaya stops him, grabbing the bottom edge of his shirt and shaking his head, “I like it.”

“Oh.” Shizuo frowns, “Then why were you lookin at me like that?”

“Like what?” Izaya asks. He’s trying to sound innocuous, but Shizuo doesn’t fall for shit like that. Especially when it’s that obvious.

He shoves a hand through his hair in mild irritation, dislodging the thing that’s holding it back and sending it falling to the floor. It isn’t heavy enough to make a sound, but Izaya’s eyes follow the motion of Shizuo’s hand and skip down to the band when it hits the floor.

Shizuo gets the distinct impression that Izaya is trying to avoid looking at him. “Izaya,” Shizuo intentionally drags out the sound of the other’s name to draw his attention back up to his eyes, “look at me.”

“Is Shizu-chan my mother now?” Izaya drawls, still not returning his gaze to Shizuo, as if the small band of elastic material is holding every ounce of his focus.

Shizuo sighs, “Stop being a dick. You need to eat something. You’ve been working all day, you can take ten minutes to have dinner with me.”

“I need to finish this email first.” Izaya argues, but it’s a weak excuse and Shizuo narrows his eyes at him. He doesn’t look at Shizuo’s face, just glances back to his computer screen and makes the attempt to look like he’s focusing on what he’s trying to type.

Shizuo crosses his arms and looks out the window behind Izaya’s desk, knowing from experience that he won’t be able to convince Izaya without using force and since that tends to lead to one of two outcomes, he thinks waiting is probably the best thing he can do if he actually wants Izaya to eat anything in the next several hours. The sun is bright, nearly as red as Izaya’s eyes. It’s distracting enough to watch the sun setting and casting vibrant colors across the sky that he can ignore the frustration of being ignored in favor of some email that will probably either ruin someone’s life or assist the yakuza with some shady dealing that he doesn’t even want to think about. When his gaze flickers back to Izaya he finds himself staring at the way the light envelopes him in a warm shade of color that he never sees on the other.

He’s still watching Izaya’s face when he finally finishes his email and spins around to face him, a smirk finding its way onto his lips when he catches Shizuo staring. Shizuo doesn’t look away and Izaya tilts his head slightly, opening his mouth to say something but stops when Shizuo reaches forward to caress his cheek. He drags his thumb across his bottom lip and then drops his hand so he can make his way over to the couch, smiling faintly when he hears Izaya’s huff of disappointment.

“It was an important email, Shizu-chan.” Izaya whines and slumps into the cushions of the couch in an unnecessary display of his displeasure, “I can’t give you all of my time.”

“I know that.” Shizuo says calmly, picking up his chopsticks, “That’s why I didn’t push the issue.”

Izaya makes a frustrated noise again and kicks his foot out to land against Shizuo’s shin, “You’ve been distracting me all day.”

Shizuo furrows his eyebrows and turns to look at Izaya’s pout in confusion more than annoyance at being kicked, “How? I’ve been in the kitchen most of the afternoon.”

Izaya narrows his eyes and doesn’t say anything in response to this. Shizuo keeps looking at him because he has absolutely no idea what he did that was distracting. He recounts the events of the day quickly in his head and thinks that  _ maybe  _ he was a bit distracting this morning in the shower, but that was nearly twelve hours ago. “D’you mean this morning?” He prods, knowing he won’t get a response otherwise. Izaya is especially stubborn when he’s pouting. 

Izaya drags his legs up to his chest and wraps his arms around them, scowling at Shizuo the whole time, “Of course I don’t mean this morning. I said  _ all day _ , Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo sighs and shoves a hand through his hair again, realizing as soon as he does what Izaya means. “My  _ hair  _ distracted you?” He asks, just to be sure.

Izaya frowns and sits forward to reach for his food, glaring at it like it has personally offended him, “As if you don’t know how distracting that is.” he grumbles, “Not only that but you had to sing for the past two hours. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to think when your voice is constantly drowning out everything else?”

Shizuo raises an eyebrow at that, “Is that a rhetorical question? Because I know exactly what it’s like to have your voice drown out everything else.”

Izaya seems startled by his answer and stops the motion of bringing his chopsticks to his mouth. It’s honestly more than a little comical how wide his eyes go and when his cheeks color Shizuo grins, turning to his own food. “Now you know how it feels, huh?”

It’s several moments before Izaya finds the words to respond with, Shizuo is almost finished with his food by the time he hears Izaya’s sharp inhale that always preludes something smug or teasing. “I’ve never pranced around the apartment with my hair up and singing.” He sounds arrogant and so sure of himself that Shizuo almost laughs at him.

Instead he nods in agreement, “That’s true, but you’ve certainly used your voice to distract me more times than I can count.” He sets his chopsticks on top of his bowl and leans back against the couch so he can look over at Izaya as he speaks, “Like all those times you call my name in public, intentionally making it sound as close to a moan as you can? And you do wear things in your hair because you know that I like it so you can’t say that you don’t. You do it on purpose whereas I genuinely had no idea I was distracting you that much.” Shizuo smirks and Izaya narrows his eyes in suspicion, “Though I might use these things to my advantage now that I know about them.”

“Shizu-chan wouldn’t do that. He hates shady things.” Izaya taunts, placing his food in front of him on the table so that he can give his full attention to the conversation, “That would be deceptive and Shizu-chan isn’t capable of anything that takes so much energy.”

Shizuo’s grin pulls wider and he watches Izaya’s expression as he speaks, wanting to be prepared as soon he tries to escape, “Are you sure about that, ‘zaya?”

When Shizuo reaches toward him Izaya is up and on his feet in an instant, sprinting up the stairs and giggling like a child. Shizuo is right behind him and nearly catches him before they even make it to their bedroom door, brushing the tips of his fingers along the bottom edge of Izaya’s shirt before the other speeds up and makes it through the threshold. He’s grinning madly from beside the bed when Shizuo steps through the doorway and growls at him, the sound coming out playful rather than menacing, “What is it that I don’t have the energy for?”

Shizuo doesn’t move from his place in the doorway, knowing that Izaya will bolt the instant he sees an opportunity. He knows this game well enough from numerous years of playing different variations of it. Izaya’s grin twists from taunting to pleased, apparently happy with Shizuo’s decision. “Why don’t you come over here and catch me? I know you want to.” Izaya places his hands on his hips and sighs when Shizuo doesn’t immediately come toward him. “I’ll even make it easier for you.” he says and then he’s falling into their bed and sending him an expectant look.

It feels like a trick of some kind and he’s cautious as he approaches the bed, keeping his eyes on Izaya’s face across the space of their room, but Izaya doesn’t move or show any interest in doing so until Shizuo is leaning in over him. “Shizu-chan is gullible.” Izaya lilts, twisting in Shizuo’s grip and tipping them sideways. Shizuo lands heavily on his back, breath startled out of him by the unexpected action and then Izaya’s straddling him and leaning in close with a brilliant smile on his face. “As if I would let myself be captured that easily.” Izaya scoffs and Shizuo is unable to look anywhere but his eyes and the pleasant warmth there.

Shizuo finds himself smiling as well, Izaya’s expression contagious because of how clearly happy he is. “I’ve already caught you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at them. Being massive nerds. I actually got inspired to write this particular chapter because I saw art of Shizuo with his hair pulled back and he looked so cute that I couldn't actually speak coherently about it when I told my friend. So why not make Izaya struggle with being coherent? It only makes sense, honestly. He already has a hard enough time just from Shizuo's voice. 
> 
> This took longer than it was supposed to. I actually have started on other chapters, several of which are for TAI and POAM, but a few are actually extra chapters for this series that I'm really excited for you guys to read. Hopefully it all ends up as good as I am aiming for it to be. Anyway~ Here is this chapter for you and I hope you've been doing well and that nothing has been stressing any of you too much. I'll try to get something up within the next few days to make up for the longer wait this time.


	41. Startled

Shizuo wakes up to an empty bed. This isn’t exactly unusual. What woke him up was the distinct lack of noise and obnoxious sighing. Izaya is childish and hates for Shizuo to sleep longer than him, regardless of what time he went to bed. Shizuo’s recently picked up two jobs and barely has enough time to sleep as it is. The fact that he’s so used to Izaya being an ass and forcing him into wakefulness says enough about how often that occurs. He doesn’t even know how long Izaya’s been awake for, just that the bed is cold where it should be warm and there are faint and irregular banging sounds coming from the kitchen.

This particular thing is what convinces him to get up and pull on some sweatpants before trudging down the hallway. He doesn’t call ahead of himself, doesn’t grumble in annoyance even when he hears Izaya start humming loudly over the sound of running water and scrubbing.

Shizuo glances over at the clock on the wall and blinks a few times to clear away the remainder of sleep at the edges of his eyes. It’s seven in the morning. It isn’t as early as he thought it was, but it sure as hell is too early for Izaya to be acting abnormal. He’s stepping around the wall into the kitchen when he finally looks at the other and takes in his appearance. The expected black and blue or maroon of his usual morning wear is completely absent. The informant is wearing only the black apron with the cat face on it that Shizuo bought for him months ago and, as Shizuo’s eyes trail down the naked expanse of his back and the curve of his spine he’s greeted with pale ivory skin edged in silky red lace.

Shizuo narrows his eyes immediately, rubs at his face and his eyes, and blinks to make sure he isn’t just imagining this. The thong and apron are the only things Izaya has on. He’s not even wearing socks, which is almost more surprising because he’s always complaining about his feet being cold.  _ Almost  _ more surprising.

Izaya is still scrubbing at the plate in his hands as if it really requires that long to clean and he’s clearly aware of Shizuo’s presence but is studiously ignoring him in favor of his task. He cants his hips when he decides that the plate is passably clean and moves on to a bowl.

Shizuo finds himself wanting to go back to bed. It’s too early for this sort of behavior. He’s running on four hours of sleep and he knows he’ll be feeling that later if he doesn’t get back into bed for the next hour and a half. But Izaya’s ass is clearly visible and the lace is framing the upper half of it, the color emphasizing the paleness of his skin in the most flattering way.

Yeah. He’s going back upstairs.

As he turns around to walk away he hears Izaya’s huff of annoyance and he knows this is a bad sign. He wants to sleep. He cannot let Izaya’s ass distract him again. It’s like Izaya  _ knows  _ how much Shizuo loves it because this is not the first time he’s had it completely bare for Shizuo to look at in the morning. It is however the first time he’s tried something that required this sort of attention to detail. Which isn’t saying much since neither of them has to try at all when it comes to these things or catching each other’s attention.

He must have kept this in his desk drawer or something because there is no way Shizuo wouldn’t have heard him shuffling around trying to find it in their underwear drawer and then his struggle to get it in place properly. He doesn’t even know if it’s actually difficult to get one of them on but it  _ looks  _ like something that takes effort. He feels soapy fingers close around his wrist and he closes his eyes for a moment so he can take a breath to steady himself and then turns to look down at Izaya.

“You woke me up.” Shizuo states tiredly. He keeps his eyes on Izaya’s face intentionally, feeling a twinge of triumph at the slight tension around the other’s lips.

Izaya smiles innocently and shoves one of his hands up into the silk of his hair, leaving it slightly dampened from the soapy water still clinging to his skin, “I was going to make breakfast for you, but since you’re awake why don’t you help me?”

Shizuo almost scoffs at this obvious lie. Izaya doesn’t ever bother making breakfast unless Shizuo’s already planning on doing it and even then he does it just to get attention that Shizuo would have given in excess anyway. Izaya doesn’t have to be a brat to get attention from him. “I need to sleep.” Shizuo grumbles weakly, still not looking anywhere lower than Izaya’s collarbones and the other twitches slightly in what he can imagine is annoyance, “Why aren’t you in bed?” He vaguely gestures to Izaya’s chest and then the kitchen sink, “What is this about?”

This time a delicate eyebrow arcs and Shizuo doesn’t feel at all good about the shadow that passes behind the informant’s eyes. “Unlike a certain beast, I wake up at a reasonable time in the morning.”

Shizuo is too exhausted to actually try to argue so he sighs and reaches forward to tangle his fingers in Izaya’s hair, “Please come back to bed. We can do this after I’m supposed to be awake.” Izaya’s lips tense further and Shizuo smiles faintly, “You could just keep this on.”

Izaya’s eyes brighten at the idea but the rest of his expression remains pouty as he allows Shizuo to tug him back toward the bedroom, “Wait, I can’t wear the apron in bed, Shizu-chan. Let me...” Shizuo lets him go long enough for him to untie and lay the apron across the couch before taking his hand and continuing to lead him back to their room.

“Why’d you wanna do this right now?” he glances down at Izaya, “You would’ve been warmer in bed while you waited for me to wake up.”

He pushes the door closed and lets go of Izaya’s hand so that the other can climb into bed first, climbs under the blankets immediately after Izaya’s settled and wraps his arms around him. He closes his eyes and buries his face in black hair, breathing in deeply and smiling when he smells his own scent mingling with Izaya’s. “It felt like the right idea at the time.” the informant murmurs as he slides an arm over Shizuo’s and the other back to slip fingers into his hair. “I thought you’d appreciate the attempt at me playing your wife.”

Shizuo chuckles quietly, already half asleep but enjoying the teasing cadence of Izaya’s voice too much to fall completely into unconsciousness quite yet, “You act like you’re royalty and a feline and a brat all at once.” he presses a kiss to Izaya’s neck when Izaya makes a small, frustrated sound in response to this, “I did like the view though.”

Izaya giggles then, the sound low and breathy, the vibrations carrying through his back and into Shizuo’s chest to warm him even more than the blankets around them or his own body heat mixing with Izaya’s, “Don’t get used to it. I just happened to be in the mood for it this morning.”

“Mm,” Shizuo hums, “I like you in anything you wear.”

Another giggle vibrates through the other’s body before Izaya’s curving his spine and tangling their legs and their fingers. Then he’s turning over to meet Shizuo’s eyes, “Shizu-chan is sappy.”

Shizuo smiles and touches his forehead against Izaya’s, shuts his eyes and brings their linked fingers up to his lips, “I wonder why.”

He falls asleep to the sound of Izaya’s quiet laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter surprised me by not being exceptionally sexual despite the fact that Izaya's in a thong and an apron in the kitchen and clearly has plans. Sleep is important and sex can always come later after Shizuo has rested enough that his brain is functioning properly. And I like fluff and cuddles, so this happened. 
> 
> Alright, so. I've had a lot of personal stress that has just taken up time or distracted me in some way, but here is this chapter for you! I am sorry that these keep taking so long. I'm currently outlining some things that I have huge plans for that I'm not gonna talk about yet but you'll see eventually. Anyway~ I won't tease you. I hope you've all been doing well in your lives.


	42. Concerned

He doesn’t expect to run into Izaya outside of school that day, not when there is snow on the ground. The flea seems to really hate getting cold since he’s always wearing a coat or a sweater at school. Shizuo’s known him for more than a year and he’s rarely seen him without it.

His jackets outside of school are generally black so when he sees dark purple with white fur lining the hood and sleeves it takes him a moment to realize that what he’s looking at is Izaya. He’s smelled him for more than a block, but he was almost convinced that was his imagination since he does occasionally have the flea’s scent on his mind. But sure enough, there he is not ten feet in front of him in purple and white. He can see the pale purple of a scarf along the edges of his neck from here, but not much more than that.

He’s tempted to turn around and walk the other direction because he doesn’t really want to fight in the middle of the city while it’s snowing and icy, but then Izaya’s shoulders tense like he knows he’s there. Their eyes meet and Izaya looks outright disgusted by his presence.

That expression alone is enough to tip Shizuo over into fury. Izaya is looking at him as if  _ he’s  _ the one that stinks. Izaya seems to recognize the abrupt shift in his mood because he’s taking off running down the sidewalk.

Shizuo doesn’t know how he’s able to do that so easily with how slick the concrete is underneath his own feet, but he supposes that the bastard is lighter than he is and grudgingly admits that he is more agile. When Izaya turns down an alley and disappears from view for a few short breaths Shizuo’s feet slip on a bit of ice and he nearly slides into a man that’s in his way. He doesn’t even bother apologizing as that would be a waste of time and he’s so intent on catching up to Izaya that he wouldn’t be able to make coherent sense if he tried.

When Shizuo finally catches up to him they’re in a residential area. Both of their breaths are coming out in small white puffs and Izaya is still wearing that disgusted expression. His shoulders are tense and his hands are in his jacket pockets, probably gripping a knife that he’ll throw in Shizuo’s direction if he takes another step closer.

“Did you have to chase me  _ today _ , Shizu-chan? I had things to do.” Even his voice is tense on something that Shizuo can’t quite name.

He shrugs distractedly, still watching Izaya’s mouth without realizing what it is he’s focusing on, “It isn’t my fault you were stinkin up the city with your presence.”

The slight frown on Izaya’s lips deepens and Shizuo’s gaze slides up to meet his eyes. He can’t explain what he sees hidden there under the crimson of his irises, but it makes him relax his fists and lose the urge to punch the other in the face. Izaya is clearly unhappy with this. Apparently he would’ve preferred a fight to any kind of conversation. Everything about his posture screams discomfort and strain. “There’s something bothering you.” Shizuo states simply.

He knows he’s right even without the sharp inhale and narrowing of the other’s eyes. “There is nothing wrong with me.” Izaya bites off, that same tension from earlier clinging to his words. “I have things to do and you interrupted.”

Shizuo stares at him for a moment without responding, still uncertain what the emotion he’s witnessing is. “You’re wearing purple.”

Izaya’s expression twists into confusion and then he glances down and his eyes widen. He looks like he’s having some sort of crisis that Shizuo doesn’t understand. “I don’t think it looks bad, I just haven’t seen you wear that before.” He says.

He doesn’t honestly care all that much about Izaya’s clothing since it’s all probably ridiculously expensive and the other would tease him for not being able to pronounce the french name printed on the tags were he to see them, but for some reason he wants to drag whatever anxiety is in Izaya out through conversation rather than with his fists. Whatever it is that’s causing all the strain in his spine and the tension along his lips and the shadows in his eyes, Shizuo wants it gone.

He’s trying to convince himself that what he’s feeling isn’t concern. He just doesn’t like it when Izaya acts strange, that’s all.

“I—” Izaya’s voice cracks and he breaks off, swallows and tries again, “Is Shizu-chan suddenly interested in fashion?”

Shizuo rolls his eyes and bends down to collect snow in his hand, intending only to give his hands something to do. He’s thankful to his mother for asking him to wear gloves today and when he sees Izaya lift one of his hands to pull his scarf up closer around his neck he is almost happy that the other was smart enough to wear black gloves rather than the white that would’ve matched the fur on his coat and boots. The black won’t get dirty as easily from filthy flea hands. “I’m not interested in the clothes, Izaya-kun. You didn’t answer my question.”

Izaya frowns and bounces up on the balls of his feet for a moment, “You didn’t ask a question.”

He doesn’t remember making the decision to throw the snowball he’s formed in his hands, but the next moment Izaya’s sitting on his ass with a red nose and bits of snow clinging to his cheeks and eyelashes. “Something is bothering you.” Shizuo says again, firmer this time, “I want it to stop bothering you.”

It’s not exactly a lie but he is convinced he worded that sentence wrong because Izaya breaks out laughing. A full blown laugh, not those false giggles he hears at school that set him on edge half the time and he’s not going to think about what happens the rest of the time. His laugh is musical, like bells and warmth and Shizuo stares wide-eyed at him until he’s hit in the face with a snowball. Izaya’s still writhing around in the snow when Shizuo glances at him after the sting of ice stops. “Shizu-chan is an idiot.” Izaya huffs, amusement heavily saturating his voice and his eyes are bright with unshed tears when he finally opens them to look at Shizuo. “It’s not that simple.”

Shizuo growls a low note of frustration and strides across the yard toward Izaya to glare down at him, “I’m not an idiot. I’d understand if you explained it to me.” He frowns when Izaya opens his mouth to protest, “Talking about things is what you’re supposed to do.”

Izaya pulls himself half upright, but keeps his palms pressed firmly to the ground behind him. “Did your mom tell you that? Does she tell you you’re really smart, but no one understands the level of intelligence you speak? Because I don’t understand how you can’t see how dumb you are. We’re  _ enemies _ , Shizu-chan. Why would I tell you anything if I wouldn’t tell it to someone else?”

He clenches his fists against the urge to shove Izaya’s face into the snow. He realizes that what he’s saying doesn’t make a lot of sense from the point of view Izaya is looking at it from, but he also knows that Izaya is intentionally trying to piss him off. He’s avoiding him like he always does with everything. “I’m not telling you to talk to me about it,” he growls, “I’m telling you that you’d feel better if you did.”

“And how does Shizu-chan know that? He doesn’t even know what it is that’s bothering me, or if there is anything for that matter.” Izaya pulls himself to his feet but keeps his hands behind his back where Shizuo can’t see them, “You’ve just made the assumption that something is wrong with me without actually asking.”

That’s the second time he’s deliberately used that phrasing. Shizuo is opening his mouth to call him out on it when snow explodes across his face and Izaya starts giggling as he backs away, except the direction he’s moving in is a dead end and Shizuo knows that without looking. He steps forward after Izaya, wiping the snow from his eyes in time to shove his hands on either side of Izaya’s body, effectively bracketing the other between him and the side of the house.

Their bodies are pressed closer than he meant for them to be, but he isn’t about to back off when it’s something this important. Their faces are so close. Izaya is only a few inches shorter than he is, well within the range of comfort were he to try to hug him. Izaya’s lips are parted ever so slightly and if Shizuo bent down just a bit more he could—

“I didn’t say something is wrong with you.” Shizuo murmurs, choosing to stare into the crimson of the other’s eyes instead of at the pink of his lips. “You’ve said that twice now.”

Izaya laughs nervously, but doesn’t shove him away and he doesn’t feel the sharp metal of a knife pressing against him yet so he keeps his gaze leveled with Izaya’s. “That’s because you’ve said that to me before.” his voice is soft, low and the tension Shizuo’s been hearing all of the past several minutes is muted between the space of their mouths, so close that their breaths are mingling into a single cloud of white. “And because even if I did trust you enough to tell you this, I know you’d say that again.”

Shizuo doesn’t remember an instance of saying those words, but Izaya obviously does so he can’t exactly argue that he wouldn’t ever tell Izaya that there is something wrong with him. But he’s fairly convinced that whatever this is has nothing to do with him being a bastard flea that ruins people’s lives and more to do with what he’s like underneath that, which is something Shizuo would desperately, secretly like to see. So he stays quiet, letting his silence linger as an opening for Izaya to fill with whatever he pleases.

They stay like that for what feels like hours, warmed by each other and gazing into each other’s eyes in search of something they can’t quite reach. Finally, Izaya breaths in a shuddering breath before shutting his eyes and exhaling slowly, “I can’t tell you.”

Shizuo doesn’t move, he’s not upset, but he wants Izaya to look at him. It’s several minutes before he does and he looks nervous about Shizuo’s lack of response but his expression eases into something more relaxed after he takes in the absence of the aggression he so obviously expects.

“You don’t have to tell me. That wasn’t my point.” Shizuo says softly, pressing only slightly further away from Izaya to give him space but not enough to make it look like he’s running away from him, “But you can...when you want to.”

He feels so awkward with his words, knows that if their positions were reversed that Izaya would know what to say or would’ve backed off entirely already, but he can feel the heavy feeling of concern in his chest. It’s weighing him down and making it hard to breathe and he doesn’t know  _ why  _ he feels this way when Izaya is the cause of it. 

“I can’t tell you,” Izaya says again and then slower, “right now.”

~~~

Shizuo still remembers that and still wonders what it is that Izaya hasn’t told him. He’s not pressured the other into telling him even now that they’re sort of dating and it’s been more than a year since then. He knows  _ intimately  _ how bad of a decision it is to try to demand answers out of Izaya. Not from his own experience so much as watching Izaya get angry with Shinra on numerous occasions and listening to the shrill complaints when Izaya threatens him.

Shinra and Kadota don’t know about whatever it is that Izaya was so adamant to keep hidden that day. He’d asked that one day not long after Izaya had told him he couldn’t tell him yet.

_ What makes Shizu-chan think I have to tell anyone? _

Shizuo doesn’t know if he feels good about that or not. Shinra is supposed to be Izaya’s best friend, or maybe long-time friend is a better word for it since neither of them seem particularly attached and Izaya is always annoyed with Shinra’s endless prattling about Celty. It’s slightly more understandable that Kadota doesn’t know, but only slightly since Kadota is so level-headed that it would make sense to share a life-changing secret with him.

Shizuo feels like he’s the very last person Izaya should tell something of great magnitude. They might be sort of dating and it’s obviously something vital to the other’s being, but Shizuo doesn’t have the kind of tact to handle everything as well as he wants to. Especially if it’s bad news.

He’s considered a million different possibilities of what it is and he’d settled on cancer for quite some time, but he’s pretty sure Shinra would know about that seeing as he’s their unofficial doctor and cancer isn’t something that Shinra would miss. Unless he was curious how it would grow and if he could test things on them. Shizuo tries not to think too hard on how likely that is.

He glances over at Izaya.

He’s talking animatedly with Shinra about something. Shizuo knows this is done intentionally to keep him waiting for him. He could just head up to the roof without him and wait, but he likes the extra time it takes to walk up the stairs with the company of the other.

There is the possibility that Izaya will want to make out or wrestle depending on what mood he happens to be in today so maybe he should head up first, just as a preemptive measure so they don’t end up in a closet or making out on the stairs again. Their detentions are really piling up and he’s spent more time staying after school recently than he cares to admit. Not every time is because of detention, but every single instance is Izaya’s fault. 

Just as he’s made the decision to head up alone, his attention is caught by the clip in Izaya’s hair. It’s small and black, but he can see the bow on it even from this distance and he wonders why he didn’t notice that when Izaya showed up earlier.

Izaya turns to look at him then and catches him staring at the clip and the way it holds part of his hair out of his face. Shizuo thinks it’s endearing, but he’s not going to express that right now, not with so many other students within hearing range and one of those students being Shinra. He flicks his gaze sideways to catch Shinra glancing between them and he growls and stomps up the stairs on his own, ignoring the sound of giggling that follows him all the way to the roof.

He’s taking the last drag of his cigarette by the time Izaya steps up beside him. He grabs his jacket sleeve to pull him off balance into a short kiss. Izaya pulls back smiling deviously, small curls of smoke leaving his lips and Shizuo turns his head to the side to blow the rest of the smoke out over the open air instead of into Izaya’s face.

“Shizu-chan.” Izaya murmurs, stepping in closer and tilting his head back to offer his mouth to him, “Do you remember that time it was snowing last year and you chased me?”

He hums in acknowledgement and kisses the edge of Izaya’s mouth, smirks when he feels the other’s lips draw down into a pout before he captures them with his own, “You were wearing purple.”

Izaya lets out a startled burst of sound that lasts only for a breath before he’s pulling gently on Shizuo’s bottom lip with his teeth. “Is that all you remember?” Izaya asks, “Have you thought about that a lot?”  

“You have no idea,” he sighs and pulls Izaya even closer to him, pressing the entire length of their bodies together, “how much I’ve worried about you over the past year. From that one night alone.”

“You were  _ worried  _ about me?” he sounds surprised, as if this isn’t something obviously integral to Shizuo’s very being, “I thought you would be pissed off that I was keeping secrets.”

Shizuo chuckles, feels the sound low in his chest under the stress still present from worrying about the other’s state for all this time, “You can have your secrets. I was worried you were sick or that someone had hurt you or something equally as extreme.”

“You would worry about things like that. In reality it’s not as simple to explain as something like that would be.” Izaya clarifies as Shizuo drags his lips across his jawline and toward his ear, “Especially since Shizu-chan understands physical things much easier than anything emotional.”

Shizuo huffs a sigh of annoyance against the back of the other’s ear and Izaya continues, “Do you notice anything different today?” There is a layer of hesitance behind his words, but the tension of a year ago is no longer present and Shizuo is grateful for that at least.

He pulls away to look at Izaya’s hair and brings a hand up to finger the small black clip with the bow on it, “I noticed that you were wearing this, but I don’t think that’s strange if that’s what you are asking.”

“Mm, that’s not quite what I’m asking, but that could be a part of it I suppose.” Izaya tilts his head and meets Shizuo’s eyes, “If I told you that I’m a girl today what would your response be, hypothetically?”

“Hypothetically?” Shizuo raises an eyebrow, “I’d ask what you meant by that.”

Izaya nods and smiles faintly, “Let me try this from a different angle. Do you ever pay attention to how your moods shift? The differences in how you feel at any given moment or how you might be more inclined to get angry one day and not the next?”

Shizuo considers what he means for a moment and nods slowly, “Yes, I think I know what you mean. But how does that connect to you...hypothetically being a girl today?” He really doesn’t like playing these word games, but if it makes Izaya more comfortable and helps him explain himself then he’ll try to keep up with it.

“My...gender shifts from one to another at different times. Usually it isn’t an exceptionally strong change and I-I can ignore it or I just...go by what everyone sees me as since that’s easier. And I haven’t ever really told anyone...except my sisters know about it unfortunately.” Izaya is frowning as he speaks and starting to get flustered and frustrated with his words.

Shizuo places a hand on the other’s cheek. “Izaya, I’m being serious, alright?” he waits for Izaya to meet his eyes before he continues, “When you said you’re a girl today you were being honest, that wasn’t just an example?”

Izaya is holding his—her breath when she nods.

Shizuo glances at the clip in Izaya’s hair, “And this is a way of you...physically showing that or?”

Izaya reaches up and touches the black metal with delicate fingers, “I don’t really feel like clothing has gender, but sometimes I do feel more comfortable on...girl days if I wear something small that makes it known to me more than to...anyone else.” She looks strained, like she’s worried he’s still going to reject this knowledge despite the fact he’s trying to understand it.

“You said that you’ve never told anyone else about this, not even Shinra?”

Izaya nods her head once and watches his expression with the same sharp crimson eyes that Shizuo has dreams about, but hopefully no longer nightmares about something being severely wrong with the person they belong to now that he knows what it was that had made Izaya so tense that night.

Shizuo’s eyes widen in understanding, “You were having a girl day that time.”

She laughs, genuinely like she did that night only this time she clings to Shizuo’s shirt instead of rolling around on the cold ground, “Yes. Yes, Shizu-chan. I was having a girl day that day too. It happens more than once.”

Shizuo rolls his eyes, “That’s not what I meant. It makes sense that it’ll happen more than once. It just hit me that that’s what that was.” He lets out a sigh of relief, “I thought you had cancer or something. I’m so glad this is all it was.”

“You act like this isn’t a big deal.” Izaya grumbles.

He leans down to press a kiss to the edge of Izaya’s jaw, “It is a big deal. I’m telling you that I’m happy that you shared this with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this headcanon that Izaya is genderfluid and I had sort of been looking for a way of introducing him as such in this fic, but I never had the right timeframe or ideas in my mind weren't the way I wanted them to be and luckily the way I write is nonlinear in this series so I had the time to think about how to do it properly. Or at least in a way that feels better than what it was going to be before. 
> 
> If anyone picked up vibes of him being agender or genderfluid before this then good job because that's been part of some of the chapters before this one, it just hasn't been mentioned. It'll be more present in POAM because that's from Izaya's pov and obviously he's going to be using different pronouns for himself depending on the day. He just defaults to he/him because it's easier and yeah. I'm rambling again. 
> 
> Because I've been trying to get this chapter the way I wanted it, it has been longer than I meant for it to be since the last update. But I do hope that the length of the chapter makes up for that because I was considering splitting this in half and decided that it is more coherent this way. 
> 
> Anyway~ I hope you're all doing well and that you're enjoying the summer months!


	43. Entranced

Shizuo’s never been particularly fond of Halloween. The entire month of October seems to be dedicated to who can sell the most skeletons and ghosts and other things that are somehow meant to scare passersby.

He is very fond of the sweets however.

It’s sweets that are ultimately his downfall, it seems, as that is always how Shinra lures him into what he would consider traps.

In reality though, it’s just a party with friends. But it feels like a trap because he knows Izaya is going to want to dress the both of them up. He’s slowed his pace all the way through Shinjuku despite knowing that Izaya is going to be pissy about it because he genuinely has no desire to dress in some silly costume. It feels like a waste of time. Why Izaya is so excited about it he will never understand.

This isn’t even the first time they’ve done this very same thing. Last time it was Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask, and though he really liked seeing Izaya in that skirt he has absolutely no interest in wearing a cape or a mask ever again.

He blushes when he remembers what they did after they got home that night. Izaya is far too good at convincing him to do things when he knows that will be the outcome. He’s not sure if he’s disappointed in himself for being so easy to please or if he’s suspicious Izaya will do the same thing tonight.

Shizuo glances up at their apartment building and feels very conflicted about the whole thing. He considers smoking another cigarette, but he’s stalled for far too long and pissing Izaya off is not going to make this night any less unpleasant.

Izaya is up in their bedroom when he opens the front door and calls out to let him know he’s home. He hears something clatter into the sink while he’s making his way up the stairs and frowns to himself when he thinks about all the possible reasons Izaya would need to be in the bathroom getting ready this early.

He doesn’t have to wonder for very long because the bedroom and bathroom doors are open, giving him a full view of Izaya in the mirror over the sink from the bedroom doorway.

Shizuo doesn’t even get a chance to say anything before Izaya is glaring daggers at him through the mirror, “You’re late.”

He flinches slightly at the sharpness of the other’s tone and averts his eyes to the bed where he can see what looks like a pile of golden yellow fabric and something blue and white next to it. “What is that?” Shizuo asks.

Izaya makes a sound that could generously be considered a laugh and then he sighs, “Does Shizu-chan not remember me telling him about what costumes I picked for us?”

Shizuo frowns.

No, he does not. He thinks back to all the conversations yesterday and can’t recall a single instance of the party being mentioned aside from a reminder about it being today. It’s possible that Izaya told him the day before that but the only time he really said anything was while he was sitting on Shizuo’s face. All of that was incoherent tangles of words and Shizuo wasn’t really paying attention to what the louse was saying at the time. It’s not like he could have given an answer.

“No.” Shizuo states flatly, glancing back over to watch Izaya’s reflection and the precision with which he’s applying eyeliner. “When did you tell me?”

His eyes are dancing with amusement when his gaze meets with Shizuo’s, “Do you ever pay attention when I talk?” He says it with feigned exasperation and Shizuo’s tempted to throw him at the costumes on the bed to show him how very appreciative he is about having to attend yet another of these stupid events. “Yours is the blue and white. Put it on and I’ll help you fix your hair.”

Shizuo glares at the costume as he makes his way over to it and picks it up. There is a tag on the hanger that reads  _ Prince Beast _ and he growls under his breath about Izaya being a sarcastic bastard while he strips off his clothes.

The material is much softer than he expects it to be. It’s clear that Izaya had this tailored to his size because it wouldn’t fit as well as it does if he hadn’t. He’s smoothing out the coat and staring distractedly down at the yellow mass still on the bed when Izaya slides a palm across his shoulder to cup his cheek. “I knew you’d look good in this.” Izaya murmurs, his eyes flicking down Shizuo’s chest to the belt he put on and frowning, “This isn’t part of what I gave you.”

Shizuo shuffles his feet and runs a hand through his hair, which is much too long and he really wishes that Izaya had cut it earlier than this, “I feel weird without a belt on.”

Izaya lets out a small sigh and nods slowly, “I think it looks alright. Were there actually belt loops?”

When Shizuo nods Izaya’s expression softens further, “I think blue is your color, Shizu-chan.”

He frowns and looks down at the coat and back to Izaya’s eyes, “I wear blue all the time. I wore blue in Raijin and you never said that.”

Izaya giggles and tugs him forward into the bathroom, “Your hair isn’t quite long enough to look exactly right, but it’s close enough.” There is a blue ribbon on the countertop and he picks it up and smirks at Shizuo playfully, “Turn around, I promise I won’t pull on it this time.”

Shizuo huffs an amused laugh as he turns and feels slim fingers in his hair, “It’s not exactly a new thing for you to pull my hair. You’ve been doing that almost the entire time I’ve known you.”

“Mm,” Izaya hums, “That’s different than this though.”

Shizuo feels him tighten the ribbon around the locks of his hair and then there are teeth tugging lightly at his earlobe. “I can’t resist teasing you.” is what Izaya says when he turns around to grab the other by the hips, “You make it so easy.”

Shizuo is in the process of pinning him to the wall and licking at Izaya’s collarbones when he feels a soft gasp. He pulls back so he can meet Izaya’s eyes, “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

He starts to slide Izaya down toward the floor when he notices that he’s smiling at him. “You’re not hurting me, but you might not want to mark up my neck and collarbones until we get home.”

Shizuo narrows his eyes in suspicion and Izaya starts laughing, “At least let me get dressed before you look at me like that, Shizu-chan. It’s not as bad as you’re assuming it is.”

And it isn’t. That mass of gold fabric is a floor length dress. His legs are entirely covered and he’s almost grateful for it except that his collarbones and shoulders are completely visible instead. Shizuo thinks the dress looks vaguely familiar, but he’s not sure where he’s seen it before. He helps Izaya zip up the back and watches him silently as he puts on and styles a wig of brown curls.

When Izaya finishes his outfit and skips into their bedroom to pull a small box out from under the bed Shizuo catches himself staring at his waistline. Normally he’s wearing one of his coats or loose sweaters that hide most of his shape, but in this outfit Shizuo can see his figure and he’d love to run his fingers all along the lines he can see from where he stands in the bathroom doorway.

“What am I supposed to be?” Shizuo asks while Izaya pulls on heels that look ridiculously uncomfortable and slips a set of much softer and more comfortable looking flats into a small bag beside him.

Izaya looks up at him and smirks, his lips brighter red than usual from the lip-gloss he smeared over them earlier, “Is Shizu-chan familiar with Beauty and the Beast?”

Now he remembers where he’s seen that dress before. The twins have forced him to watch a shit ton of Disney movies and discussed in unnecessary detail which couples best fit his and Izaya’s relationship. He’d argue that bestiality doesn’t have any place in their lives except that Izaya would instantly taunt him about being a beast himself so he keeps that to himself.

Something else hits him as his eyes catch some of the curls of Izaya’s wig tumbling over his shoulder, “I can’t believe you intentionally kept from cutting my hair just so you could tie it back with this thing.” He motions toward his hair and raises an eyebrow at Izaya, “I could’ve gone with my normal haircut and it would’ve been fine.” 

“Oh please, you would’ve looked like yourself dressed as a prince. This way you look the part.” Izaya stands and with the height gained from the heels he’s a little closer to eye level than normal so Shizuo can see clearly the flicker of amusement just before it’s swallowed by something warmer, “Though I’m pretty sure Beast doesn’t have amber eyes.” 

“Yeah well, what princess has fuckin red eyes?” Shizuo scowls down at Izaya. 

Izaya giggles and it’s almost enough to distract him from his annoyance, but not quite, “At least you have the scowl right. Celty is going to love this, you know.” 

Shizuo sighs, “Let’s just go,” and then mumbles, “at least I don’t have to wear a damn cape this time.” 

He catches Izaya smirking as he’s turning away to pick up his bag but his expression is relaxed into innocence when he faces him again and entangles their fingers, “Maybe next year.” 

Shizuo pretends not to hear him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone remember the cosplaying chapter of Ribbonlette's Moments where Izaya is Sailor Moon and he makes Shizuo dress up as Tuxedo Mask? Because I do and it's lovely, so I referenced it in the middle there. Even discussed it with the lovely writer themself so that I could do it shamelessly. It's not the same universe, clearly, but I'm fairly convinced Izaya would do that in essentially any universe they're invited to events like this in because he is a nerd. Plus Shizuo here doesn't fight Izaya on things like this like Moments Shizuo would so that certainly makes it all easier. 
> 
> Beauty and the Beast is one of my favorite movies from when I was a kid and it's really sweet even if Izaya would make it sarcastic in some ways. Granted, Izaya is never afraid of Shizuo like Belle is with Beast, but whatever~ he gets to playfully call Shizu-chan 'Beast' and it's all very amusing until he loses patience and drags his ass home. 
> 
> Remember when I updated daily? Yeah. That was nice. I'm terribly sorry it's taking me so long to update recently. I'm working on this and a few other projects for you guys in the future so it's not that I'm not thinking about it. I'm just very bad at time management, I suppose. Anyway, enough of my rambles. I hope you like it and I hope you're all doing well! :)


	44. Blossomed

It’s nearly time for graduation and the trees are all in bloom. The cherry blooming festival is in a few days and everyone is making plans to go to it with their loved ones and friends.

The whole thing is very romantic and Shizuo has always enjoyed this time of year. It’s a new beginning for those graduating and a time of renewal for everyone all at once.

Shinra had the idea to go originally, but Shizuo is the one who asked Izaya if he wanted to go. He’d asked when they were alone together, away from the prying eyes of Shinra and Kadota--who has adamantly refused to admit that he has any vested interest in their behavior.

Izaya had agreed of course, even smiling bright and unfettered at Shizuo’s askance.

Shizuo tries to step out of his front door in a tee shirt and jeans, but his mother’s voice drags him back inside. “Is that what you’re planning on wearing to the festival?”

He glances down at himself and then back to meet her eyes, “Yes. Should I change? I picked a nice shirt and it’s all clean so I just…”

She smiles warmly at him, “Give me one moment. I have something you might like better.”

Shizuo doesn’t remember the last time he wore a yukata to a festival. It had to be when he was very young because he has memories of a tiny Kasuka in one, but nothing more recent than that. The one his mother has gifted him with is a simple black yukata with a navy blue sash at the waist, but he’s immensely thankful for it.

He’s stepping into his shoes at the doorway with his mom smiling proudly at him when he risks a glance at his phone to see what time it is. He’s still early but he’s nervous and wants to be there before Izaya arrives.

“I’ll be back later!” He calls over his shoulder to his mom, barely giving her time to call after him to be careful before the door closes. He’s practically sprinting by the time he reaches the agreed upon meeting area.

Shinra is already there sitting on a bench and texting excitedly with someone that can only be Celty given the huge smile on his face. “Shizuo-kun!” Shinra calls to him when he eventually looks up and around, “Come sit with me! Celty was just telling me about the dinner she’s planning on making tomorrow, isn’t that exciting?” His eyes are wide and shining with enthusiasm that Shizuo doesn’t understand.

Shizuo shrugs, “I guess. Is she coming tonight?”

“No. She turned me down every time I asked her! Isn’t that cruel of her, Shizuo-kun?” Shinra whines and complains and clings to Shizuo’s sleeve dramatically. “I’m only trying to show her my love!”

“Get off of me. She probably turned you down because you’re annoying and talk too loud.” Shizuo grumbles distractedly.

Shinra grows quiet eventually when he realizes that Shizuo is completely ignoring him and it’s around then that Kadota arrives. He’s wearing jeans and a tee shirt and Shizuo frowns at him when his eyes focus on him instead of scanning the crowds of people walking down the sidewalk.

“Sorry I’m late.” Kadota waves at them and looks around, “Where is Izaya? I thought he’d be here early.”

Shizuo growls under his breath and Shinra bursts out loudly but Shizuo ignores both of them when he catches sight of Izaya. He’s standing under a cherry blossom tree several yards from where they are and he’s frowning down at his hands.

Shizuo stands up and waves Kadota and Shinra’s questioning looks away as he strides over to Izaya. “Hey,” he says lowly, “are you alright?”

Izaya glances up at the sound of his voice. His expression is troubled. He’s biting his lip and there is a slight furrow of worry tugging his eyebrows together. “Shizu-chan, do I look too feminine in this?” His voice is a bit breathless and Shizuo can see how clearly uncomfortable he is.

Shizuo takes a step closer, fully blocking Izaya from Shinra and Kadota’s view. He trails his gaze down past the sheen of Izaya’s lips—there is definitely lipgloss there but that’s not unusual—to the lines of the yukata the other is wearing. The material is mostly black, but the small red flowers catch the light around them distractingly. He stares for too long and Izaya huffs out a small breath of strained impatience.

“I like it. It’s perfect for you.”

Izaya’s eyes widen slightly and he glances away, “It’s not too girly?”

The word catches on something in Shizuo’s mind and pulls the question into a different light than just Izaya asking about _her_ clothes. Shizuo shakes his head, “It isn’t too girly, no. Just the right amount. Shinra and Kadota won’t notice if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not _worried_.” Izaya states indignantly. “They wouldn’t know how to ask the right questions anyway. But,” there is a slight blush on the other’s cheeks when she looks back up to meet his eyes, “thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit short but it's sweet and I like it so I hope all of you do as well. I had this idea awhile ago about Izaya wearing a yukata that was a bit feminine but not excessively so?? I just couldn't find the one I wanted to use as an example until now so. Here is this for you. 
> 
> Just to point this out, my opinion on clothing is that it doesn't have a gender. It's clothing. Society makes the rules and I keep hoping those will change because I want people to be able to be comfortable with themselves without being misrepresented. 
> 
> I'm not going to ramble though. I do that enough for twelve people on a daily basis. I hope you like the chapter and I hope you've been doing well!! I'm still writing so I might double update tonight if I finish some more. :) 
> 
> Izaya's Yukata:  
> Front - http://g01.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1bb9YJXXXXXX.XXXXq6xXFXXXc/HI-Q-Vintage-Kimono-Costume-Yukata-font-b-Gown-b-font-Japanese-Floral-Robe-Haori-Dress.jpg  
> Back - http://g02.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1f8nzJXXXXXXtXVXXq6xXFXXXh/Hi-Q-Japanese-Kimono-women-s-Vintage-Yukata-Haori-Costume-Retro-Geisha-Dress-Obi-Cosplay-Gown.jpg


	45. Accepted

It’s dark and rainy by the time Shizuo starts making his way home that night. Izaya texted him a few minutes ago to tell him that he’d made dinner for them again and that he wants to eat together before bed. He’s excited about getting home for that, especially with how dreary and rainy the day has been. 

Since Ra came into their lives a few weeks ago Izaya has been around Ikebukuro less and this is one of those days where Shizuo wishes that he had come out to see him. 

He’s only walked a few blocks from where he said goodbye to Tom and Varona when he hears shrill cries coming from an alley. At first he thinks it’s coming from a small child, but as he gets closer he’s reminded more and more of Ra’s cries when he gets cold. 

It’s coming from a cardboard box that’s nearly soaked through with rainwater. The rain only continues to pour harder from the sky as he gets closer. Shizuo crouches down next to the box and as soon as he pulls the flaps open a small black ball attaches itself to his hand. 

His immediate response is to pull his hand in toward his chest where there is more warmth and he can protect the kitten from the rain with his shoulders, but the small feline is obviously startled with the movement. They claw deeper into his wrist when thunder blasts through the sky. 

Shizuo knows it shouldn’t remind him of that time in his apartment when he learned that Izaya was afraid of thunderstorms, but it does. And after coaxing the kitten into a calmer state against his chest, he gets the chance to look at them closer. It’s still raining and the kitten was already a bit wet before he pulled them out of the box, but he can tell that their fur is a deep black and is very fluffy and soft when he runs his fingers through it curiously. It reminds him of Izaya’s hair. Particularly after his morning shower. 

The kitten tilts their head and glances up at him with dark, intelligent eyes and that is what makes him stand up and reach into his pocket for his cell phone. He considers calling Izaya, but he wants the kitten to be a surprise. He also needs to name them and the only person he trusts with that other than Izaya is Celty. 

Shizuo sends the text he’s composed before he brings the kitten to the front of the building. He stands under the small awning there while he waits for Celty to arrive. It takes only a few moments of being out of the rain for the kitten to start looking around before they seem to get bored and choose to stare up at Shizuo’s face instead. 

He scratches them behind their ears and between their shoulder blades like he does with Ra and is rewarded with the near silent vibrations of their purring. The purr is so opposite to Ra’s that it makes him laugh quietly to himself, reminded again of Izaya only this time it’s his laugh that occupies his thoughts. The kitten has fallen asleep by the time Celty arrives, looking antsy like she always does when Shizuo texts her to ask for rides. 

She swiftly dismounts Shooter and trots the few steps that separate them so that Shizuo will be able to read her pda screen. [Are you alright? This was so sudden I was worried you’d had an accident or something.] 

Shizuo smiles at her unnecessary worry for him, “I’m fine. I was just hoping you could help me with this.” He glances down at the kitten in his arms and then back to her helmet where her eyes would be. “I don’t need to go to the shelter or anything, I want to keep them, but I would like help naming them and getting them home so that Izaya doesn’t know about this before I get there.” 

Celty nods slowly and then stares at her pda for several long moments before typing out a response, [Do you have something in mind? Maybe a theme for the name?] 

He’d managed to think of that in his distracted thoughts about Izaya while she made her way over so he dips his chin in acknowledgement, “You know about Ra and how his name comes from the Egyptian sun god, right?” 

[Yes, you were blushing when you told me about that.]

“Yeah well, Izaya likes to compare me to the sun a lot. Which is all well and good because I do the same with him and the moon.” 

[That seems reasonable to me. It’s very fitting for the both of you.] 

Shizuo smiles slightly at the statement and then shakes his head to clear it when his mind starts to wander back to Izaya’s laugh, “I was thinking I could name them after a god of the moon, but I don’t know any.” 

Celty nods enthusiastically and types and retypes on her keypad several times before she brings it up to show him. [I used to do a lot of research on these kinds of things and I still get curious sometimes. My personal favorite is Nyx. She’s the Greek goddess of the moon and night so I think that might work? If you like it, of course.]

Shizuo blinks at Celty’s screen, glances down at the kitten in his arms, and grins when he looks back up at her a moment later, “Yeah. I like that.” 

The ride to the apartment only takes about ten minutes on Shooter and Shizuo spends that entire time preoccupied with wondering how Izaya will respond to Nyx when he sees them. He knows Izaya loves cats, has seen how tender he is with Ra, but he can’t help feeling nervous about bringing home another when they’ve only just fallen into a pattern with the first.

He says goodbye to Celty quickly so that he can get inside and dry the kitten off faster. He’s worried they’ll get sick if they’re anything like Izaya. The warmth coming from his skin seems to be keeping the kitten warm enough, but he still feels himself rushing to see Izaya like he always does when he gets to this point. The woman at the front desk lets out a tiny squeak and promptly covers her mouth with her hand after she recognizes Shizuo as the one carrying the kitten. 

He ignores her, though he half wonders how she knew that Nyx was there with how tiny they are. 

Izaya is humming barely loud enough for Shizuo to hear him from the hallway outside the door. The lock clicks out of place and the humming stops just as he pushes the door open. Izaya has a bright smile on his face when Shizuo glances in his direction as he shoves the door closed again and slips off his shoes. “Shizu-chan,” Izaya calls with enough affection under his name to drag an involuntary smile onto Shizuo’s lips, “I made ramen for dinner. Do you remember that recipe we saw on…” his voice trails off as Shizuo walks further into the room. Ra glances at him curiously from his self-proclaimed guard position beside Izaya’s desk. 

“Is that a kitten?” Izaya asks softly. 

“Yeah. I found them in a box.” Shizuo explains in an equally soft tone, “I asked Celty to drive me home so that I could get them out of the rain faster.” 

Izaya nods and waits until Shizuo is sitting on the couch before approaching him. Ra is still at his place beside Izaya’s desk, staring at them with slightly narrowed eyes. “Did you think of a name?” His knee sinks into the cushion right beside Shizuo’s thigh and he tilts his head in question, but his eyes settle on the kitten. “If you want to keep them, I mean.” 

“Celty helped me pick it, actually.” Shizuo keeps his eyes on Izaya’s face as he says this but his expression doesn’t drop into displeasure at all. Instead he meets Shizuo’s eyes curiously. “I asked if she knew any names for moon gods.” 

Izaya’s cheeks tinge the slightest bit pink, “Does she?” 

“Yeah. She said there is one named Nyx. She’s a greek goddess of the night and moonlight or something.” 

“Mm, I like that.” His eyebrows furrow in thought. He pulls his other leg up to settle closer to Shizuo and reaches forward to scratch lightly at Nyx’s back. They blink open their eyes and look at him tiredly, “You don’t know what gender Nyx is then?” 

It’s a good question, but even Celty couldn’t tell him when he’d asked. “Shinra or a vet could tell us. Unless you want to look at them to find out.” 

Izaya shakes his head, “No, I don’t want to invade their privacy. Especially right now. They’re probably scared and tired.” The kitten lets out the smallest meow that Shizuo has ever heard in his life and Izaya’s expression softens considerably, “At least you’re warm, that will keep them from getting cold. I’ll go upstairs and get a towel.”

Ra follows Izaya up to the top of the stairs, but freezes when he catches sight of the kitten in Shizuo’s arms. He does one of his half-growling meows and sits while he waits for Izaya, but doesn’t move or look away from Nyx at all.

Izaya smirks at him when he comes back to the top of the steps with a towel in his hand, “Are you jealous?” he murmurs and leans down to pat him on the top of his head. “You’ll like having someone other than me to play with.” Ra meows faintly and follows Izaya to the edge of the couch only to freeze where he is when Nyx pokes their head up and meows near-silently at him. 

Shizuo loosens the hold he has on them and watches in amazement as they completely bypass Izaya and to the very edge of the couch, just above Ra’s head. They stare at each other for a few moments without moving until Ra blinks, very slowly, and stands on his hind legs to press his paws into the cushion on either side of Nyx’s, then he presses his nose to theirs. 

After draping the towel over Shizuo’s hair and ruffling it for a few moments to work some of the water out, Izaya sits down and leans closer to him. Shizuo lifts his arm so that Izaya can settle against him fully. “I’ve never seen cats act like this.” Izaya murmurs, keeping his voice barely a whisper in what Shizuo assumes is an attempt not to disrupt whatever they’re doing. 

Shizuo looks away from the kittens and to Izaya’s face, at the tiny smile he’s directing at them. He’s hard pressed to think of a time when Izaya has looked so beautiful. 

Shizuo has never been so in love with him as he is right now. 

“Izaya.” he murmurs, pressing his lips behind Izaya’s ear and smiling to himself when Izaya shivers and curls closer to him, “I love you.” 

It feels like an understatement, but those are the only words Shizuo knows to convey how he feels about Izaya, however rarely he uses them. Izaya’s response has always been the same. He blushes and curls up tightly with his face pressed into the curve of Shizuo’s neck to hide his expression. 

And he breathes out a shaky response against Shizuo’s skin. 

When Shizuo can bring himself to open his eyes and concentrate on anything other than Izaya curled up against his chest, he looks over to check on Nyx and Ra. 

They’re curled up in a position very similar to Shizuo and Izaya, sleeping soundly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read chapter 7 of Patterns Of A Monster, you don't know who Ra is. He's adorable, you should go find out where he came from. He's a cutie. 
> 
> This is what Nyx looks like: https://i.gyazo.com/1c3268cc1187d74155cafc7a2575906a.png
> 
> I know that I said I was hoping to update a few days ago, and that was in fact the plan, but I've had a lot going on and it's hard to write when I don't have the time or motivation to do so. 
> 
> But here this is! I love Nyx. Them and Ra are instantly enamoured if you couldn't tell from their kisses and Ra staring at them. I think Shizuo is making me increasingly more sappy as this goes on and that may be making HIM more sappy by default. This is a cycle that I cannot do anything about, hopefully you are enjoying this fluff. 
> 
> Years of time are passing and I'm jumping around between future and past, so I hope it's apparent that they grow to be this in love from those first years of knowing each other in Raijin and being obsessed crushing teenagers to having lived together for years and adopting two kittens within the span of a few weeks. The point is that it's a steady process for them to become this comfortable in loving each other. I have intentionally not thrown them into this deep love that they're in so clearly in this chapter as that would be out of character for these two. It has to be gradual, and I hope that is coming across the way I intended. 
> 
> Anyway! I ramble and I have a lot to say about this series, but I'll stop. I hope everyone is doing well and that you had a lovely week.


	46. Announced

Shizuo remembers Valentine’s day last year.

The red envelope with a single sticker shaped like a cake to seal it closed, the characters of his name scrawled elegantly across the front, the tiny box of chocolate inside his desk. He remembers even more clearly than that the sharpness of canines biting into his bottom lip when he’d tried to eat the chocolate at lunch and the bright burst of laughter when he’d growled protest in response. It was a good day, better when he finally got Izaya to stop laughing by biting him back.

He doesn’t know what to expect this year and hasn’t really put much thought into what Izaya might do to try to surprise him now that they’ve graduated and aren’t being observed by Shinra’s amused gaze or burdened with Kadota’s exhausted watch over their actions. If Shizuo didn’t know Izaya and his easily embarrassed attitude over affectionate gestures he would expect something rather extreme. Like new clothes or a television specifically designed to be as confusing as possible.

He can’t imagine Izaya is the type to order fluffy bears and roses though.

Especially since Shizuo himself wouldn’t. But that’s mostly because he knows Izaya wouldn’t like something so simple and it would feel impersonal to Shizuo to buy something rather than make it himself.

Shizuo has plans to stop by a bakery around the block after he gets off work. He wants to pick up tiramisu and a piece of dark chocolate cake for the two of them to share after dinner because he knows Izaya’s tastes and he knows he doesn’t have the time or the patience to make two desserts. He started preparing their dinner early this morning and it should be easy to finish before Izaya’s usually prompt arrival at 8.

Luckily the cafe has been rather quiet today and his coworkers haven’t taken it upon themselves to tease him about Izaya’s rather short visit earlier in the day. He’d announced that he only had two classes and would be expecting Shizuo to be home before him. It wasn’t the announcement itself that brought heat into Shizuo’s cheeks. It was because Izaya had referred to Shizuo’s apartment as  _ home _ .

Shizuo’s manager lets him off ten minutes early and he’s convinced that the girl working the register has said something about Izaya’s enthusiasm because it hasn’t been an entirely spotless day for him. He spilled two cups of coffee this morning from Izaya’s distraction alone and even that went smoother than his annoyance at a few rude customers. But he’s thankful, regardless of the circumstances.

The walk down the block is uneventful and quiet. The only other customers in the bakery when he arrives are a mother and her son who are sharing a cupcake at a table near the window. Shizuo knows the owner of the bakery. He’s been here enough times that the first thing the older gentleman at the counter asks is if he wants strawberry shortcake.

It’s just as tempting as it always is, but he has a specific goal in mind and he really needs to get back to his apartment to finish dinner. He doesn’t have time to sit in the window and enjoy a treat as has become his habit on days Izaya hasn’t announced his presence beforehand.

Dinner with coffee and dark chocolate desserts should make Izaya happy. If he smiles, even teasingly, it’ll be worth bypassing his own sweets.

His front door is locked, but something about the smell coming from inside is off. At first he worries that he left the stove on, but then he remembers that he didn’t use it to cook anything this morning. Which leaves him even more confused and when he gets the door unlocked and opens it there are a pair of black shoes in the entryway. This is almost equally as confusing as the smell coming from the kitchen because it’s 5, way too early for Izaya to be back from his evening class. “Izaya? Are you…” He doesn’t bother taking his shoes off, more worried about the smell of burning coming from the kitchen than the possibility of getting dirt on the floor.

Izaya is on his ass on the tile, pouting at the mess in front of him with what look like tears in his eyes. There is flour everywhere. It is on every single surface and he would wonder how he managed to do that if not for the whipped cream and strawberries in Izaya’s hair that drag his attention entirely away from the flour. There is frosting on his neck and absolutely smothering his hands. The knife he’d been using for it is hanging loosely in his right hand and the cake itself is a half-burnt, half-uncooked mess on the counter and the floor in front of him.

Shizuo doesn’t laugh. He gently drops the bag with the desserts in it on the table beside some very nice, fresh sunflowers that he’ll appreciate later as a thoughtful gift from his not-boyfriend and takes off his shoes. He hears a small noise from Izaya when he disappears to place his shoes beside Izaya’s. He’s pouting and frowning at his hands when Shizuo steps into the kitchen.

“What were you trying to make?” Shizuo asks in low murmur, kneeling in front of him and taking Izaya’s hands in his own.

Izaya doesn’t meet his eyes and he sounds genuinely miserable while he speaks, “Strawberry shortcake.” He sighs softly and his shoulders droop, “Because it’s your favorite.”

When Izaya still doesn’t look up, Shizuo smiles at him. “You know, I don’t see this as a failure.” Izaya looks up then and Shizuo grins teasingly at him, “I bet you taste really good right now.”

His eyes widen slowly in realization and then his lips quirk up in a tiny smirk, “I always taste good, Shizu-chan.”

“Yeah, sure.” Shizuo says as he stands up, pulling Izaya with him. “I was planning on making dinner, but we can take a bath first since you made a mess that we’ll have to clean up anyway.”

Izaya’s frown returns and he looks at the cake on the floor, “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Shizuo lets go of Izaya’s frosting covered hands and gestures to the room with one hand, “And this? Why is there flour everywhere? How did you get it on the ceiling?”

Izaya glares up at the ceiling, “I had trouble opening the bag.”

“You didn’t think to use scissors? Or one of the billion knives you carry around with you?” Shizuo raises an eyebrow, “Why did you try to make it from scratch instead of buying a mix?”

Izaya returns to pouting and looks like he’s about to cross his arms but remembers the frosting on his hands and shrugs instead, “I wanted to surprise you.”

“I’m certainly surprised.” Shizuo grumbles but he’s starting to smile again. This is exactly the kind of thing he never expects to come from Izaya. Something thoughtful that is carried out awkwardly and with apparently very little planning. Shizuo brushes his knuckles against Izaya’s cheek, carefully so that he doesn’t get any more frosting on his skin than is already there, “I do appreciate the attempt.”

Izaya flinches a bit when Shizuo’s thumb fits against his bottom lip, “I should’ve just brought chocolate again. That doesn’t require making a mess.” He’s mumbling under his breath, his lips pulling together into another pout.

Shizuo is grinning when Izaya’s eyes flit back up to his face, “I guess it’s a good thing I went and picked up dessert for you then.” His eyebrows raise a bit in surprise, but Shizuo shakes his head and takes his hands back into his own again, amused by the sheer amount of frosting on his fingers. “We’re going to take a bath and eat first. You go wash your hands while I put what I bought in the fridge. I’ll meet you in there.”

Izaya’s shoulders are slumped in passive defeat as he disappears down the hallway, but Shizuo doesn’t continue to stare after him, and he certainly doesn’t stare at his hips until he’s out of view. He washes his own hands in the kitchen sink so that he won’t get anything sticky on the packaging. Once that’s finished, he places the desserts on the top shelf of the fridge and pulls out the food he’d started preparing that morning. When he turns to look for a place to put it he almost starts laughing.

There really is flour everywhere.

He decides that the table is the best bet for a prep station for it and leaves it there. The shower is running by the time he makes it down the hallway toward his bedroom. Izaya’s clothes are folded neatly in the hamper by the door and he smiles at how normal that seems, despite the fact that Izaya’s clothes are usually strewn across the floor with his own. He knows that Izaya isn’t likely to have chosen anything to put on after he gets out of the shower so Shizuo picks a set of old pajamas along with a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt for himself.

The bathroom smells like sugar and strawberries when he enters it. There is a slice of strawberry sitting innocently on the counter and he glances at it only once while he’s stripping out of his work clothes. “Why did you leave a strawberry on the counter?” he asks the unmoving outline of Izaya in the shower, “It’s going to be sticky if you do that.”

He hears a very distinct, “It wouldn’t be the first time” and chuckles under his breath in response.

The water hits him in a wave of steam before he steps into it behind Izaya. It’s almost unbearably hot. He reaches around Izaya to adjust the temperature to something more reasonable, placing one hand on his hip to tug him back and away from the spray and into his chest. “Are you in a bad mood now?” he asks as he fits his lips against the too-warm skin of Izaya’s neck.

“No.” Izaya hisses and curls his fingers into Shizuo’s hair and claws at the wrist of the hand holding his hip, “I’m tired from being in class all day.”

“I thought you said you only had two.”

Izaya huffs out a sigh, “The first ran over and the other I had to show up early to help out with some stuff. I was supposed to have a meeting this afternoon, but my client wasn’t able to make it.”

“Is that why you’re here earlier than usual.” Shizuo asks, distractedly sliding his hand lower to trail caresses along the other’s stomach, “Getting my kitchen all sticky because you don’t know how to make a cake and can’t just ask me if I’ll help you.”

“I told you--” Izaya gasps when Shizuo’s hand skims between his thighs, “it was supposed to be a surprise. Asking for your help would have been counterproductive.”

Shizuo hums and bites down hard on Izaya’s shoulder when his claws harder at his wrist in what he assumes is annoyance, “Practice is another option.”

Izaya laughs breathlessly, “Practice makes perfect. Right. I don’t even like sweets, Shizu-chan. How would I know if it’s good or not?”

“I can teach you.” He releases his hold on Izaya entirely and reaches for the soap instead. Izaya makes a low noise of complaint, but turns away before Shizuo can see his expression. “It doesn’t just have to be desserts.”

“I don’t need help.”

“You looked upset earlier.” Shizuo leans closer and his lips brush against Izaya’s ear, “I want to teach you even though you look delicious with food all over you. You  _ still  _ smell like strawberries and I’m not at all against having that particular detail stick around a bit longer.”

“You just want to have the chance to eat me.” Izaya smirks and tilts his head to the side to meet his eyes, “Don’t you.”

Shizuo turns Izaya to face him fully and steps under the spray, “I could do that at any time. You don’t know how to cook for yourself unless it’s rice or instant noodles.”

“I know how to cook.” Izaya protests, “I just prefer take out.”

Shizuo raises an eyebrow at him and smooths Izaya’s hair back from his face. He’s scowling up at him. “I want to spend time with you. It will be fun.”

“Cooking isn’t fun.”

“You haven’t tried it with me yet.”

“Mairu tried to make dinner with me once and that was a disaster.”

“Has Mairu ever successfully made a meal without burning it?”

Izaya sighs and presses his forehead into Shizuo’s collarbones, “No.”

“I’ve never burned anything that wasn’t supposed to be.”

“There are things that are supposed to be burned?”

“Yeah, I could show you. If you let me.” Shizuo states. He slides his fingers into dark hair and leans his own head back to let the warm water relax him. It has been a long day and, as much as he enjoys Izaya’s company, he wishes the other would let him comfort him and help when he’s frustrated. He’s always been like this. They’re still not ‘officially’ dating, according to Izaya. Which is all the more frustrating when they’ve spent holidays together and behave like lovers, but Izaya refuses to let Shizuo take on the title of his boyfriend. “If you let me.” He murmurs again and he feels Izaya press his palms to his chest and step closer into an embrace rather than leaning against him.

When he feels the slide of Izaya’s lips along his neck he closes his eyes and lets himself enjoy it. It’s Valentine’s day and they’re taking a shower together and Izaya tried to make his favorite dessert and is now kissing his neck while Shizuo holds him. He can’t think of anything more coupley than this, but he doesn’t say that out loud. Izaya is likely to back off and curl into himself like he does sometimes when Shizuo points out specifics about their relationship.

It’s not until there is a sharp pain on his earlobe that he pulls his attention down where he’s met with a very familiar mischievous glint in crimson irises. His pupils are wide with want and his lips are pink and soft; his smile a complete contrast with the look in his eyes, but it’s his eyes that Shizuo concentrates on regardless. “Does Shizu-chan want help with dinner? I’m good with my hands.”

“Are you?” Shizuo’s voice is rough, but he can feel a smile tugging at his lips, “I never would have guessed that with all that flour everywhere or how often you claw my back when I—”

“That’s very rude, Shizu-chan. The flour was an accident and I can’t exactly help that I claw at your back now can I.”

“You could cut your nails.” Shizuo offers, but there is no strength behind it. He actually likes it when Izaya does that. It lets him know when he’s really doing something right. “You’re just lucky you’ve never drawn blood.”

“I couldn’t even if I were trying to. Your skin is too thick for my nails to puncture it. The only thing that works are knives and you don’t want those in bed with us.”

“Yeah, for good reason. I’d rather not have you stabbing me while I’m fucking you.”

“Oh please, like I’d have any kind of drive to stab you right then anyway.” Izaya’s eyes flash and his smirk tilts wider to one side, “I could certainly do it after I wake up in the morning.”

He knows that he shouldn’t think about it, that right now isn’t the time for idle fantasies, but the thought of Izaya naked and warm and comfortably curled up in his arms as the first thing he sees when he wakes up for the next indefinite amount of time shoves to the forefront of his mind. It’s so domestic and soft, Shizuo knows how unlikely it is and pushes the thought away to be focused on later. The teasing in Izaya’s expression fades and affection is visible for a short time until he seems to realize it and grins, all teeth and sharp edges again. “Or in the middle of the night. You sleep so soundly after we’ve had sex,” he sighs theatrically and paints a frown onto his lips, “though you probably wouldn’t wake up even then.”

“What are you talking about?” Shizuo growls, “I wake up every time you move to get out of bed. Of course I’d wake up if you stabbed me.”

“Grabbing a knife doesn’t require getting out of bed if I already have it on me.”

He narrows his eyes, “You don’t have one on you right now. You left your coat on the couch.”

“Mm. Are you going to take advantage of that? What if I pick one up when you’re making dinner?” He’s clearly teasing. Shizuo knows this and yet, he wants to see how willing he is to go along with that threat.

“If I fuck you right now you won’t want to move for at least an hour. That’s plenty of time for me to finish dinner.” Izaya is still smirking and looks like he’s going to respond so Shizuo continues, “Why do you think I started on it this morning.”

Now he’s pouting, his bottom lip stuck out and his eyes narrowed in suspicion, “You planned this. You must have known. How did you know? I didn’t tell you.”

“I have good instincts, Izaya-kun.” Shizuo teases lightly, “Isn’t that what you always brag about?”

“I’m…” Izaya shrugs and slides his hands down to press his thumbs hard into Shizuo’s hipbones, “tempted to stop bragging about your instincts after this. The cake was meant to be a surprise. That’s cheating.”

“It’s not cheating if I didn’t consciously know what you were going to do. I didn’t expect you to get here early.” Shizuo explains.

“Then why did you originally want to start dinner early?”

Izaya’s hair is soft even when wet and he curls his fingers into it, slides his other hand down Izaya’s back and smiles at the shivers his touch causes all the way down to the base of his spine, just above his ass where he stops. Izaya makes a sound of displeasure and he chuckles quietly. “I wanted to spend more time paying attention to you than making food. I was already awake this morning because of the ridiculous alarm you set on my phone, without my knowledge, so I figured I’d use that time wisely.”

“You could’ve gone back to sleep.” Izaya argues, probably for the sake of arguing since there isn’t much reason aside from that, “I might have been asleep at the time. I can’t remember even setting that alarm. I wonder if I did it last year.”

“Probably. You were even more of a brat then than you are now.”

“And why—” he cuts himself off with a low hiss when Shizuo digs his nails lightly into skin, “why is that?”

“You  _ bit  _ me while I was trying to eat the chocolate you gave me.” Shizuo growls into Izaya’s ear and feels a wave of triumph at the involuntary shiver it pulls from him.

“Maybe I wanted to try it.”

“You could have asked.”

“Mm, I could have. I prefer to taste things off of your tongue though.”

“Bullshit, you just wanted to bite me to bite me.” Shizuo loses patience with the water pouring over his head and pushes Izaya back against the wall, satisfied with the agitated hiss he lets out from the cold, “You’ve bitten my lip enough times, I know your game.”

“Maybe I just—” Shizuo leans down and bites the skin on his shoulder again to interrupt his stream of words but he continues after his initial reaction even with Shizuo continuing to link bites along the whole length of his shoulder and up his neck, “maybe I have a bite kink that you didn’t know about.”

Shizuo snorts at that, “Didn’t know? I’ve known this whole time. Why do you think I bite you so much?”

“Because you have an oral fixation and you’re a possessive beast.”

“I have a—” Shizuo stops what he’s doing and stares at Izaya’s lips, “I have a what.”

“Oral fixation,” Izaya announces, as if it’s obvious, “do I need to explain what that means to you? I thought your protozoan brain would know that, at least, but I suppose the word  _ fixation  _ is just too big for you.”

“Shut up. That’s not what I mean.” Shizuo grits his teeth and shuts the shower water off since neither of them need it anymore. “I know what it is.”

“Then what do you mean, if you’re not asking about that.” Izaya has an eyebrow raised and Shizuo grumbles an intentionally incoherent response while facing away from him to shove the door open and reach for a towel.

“What did you say, Shizu-chan? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“I called you a brat.”

Izaya is giving him an arrogant look when he turns back to him, but neither of them say anything else. Shizuo hands the towel to Izaya then grabs his own and steps out of the shower onto cold tile. It’s not until Izaya is walking past him with absolutely nothing covering his ass that he remembers he’s supposed to be keeping him from retrieving his coat from the couch. “I have pajamas for you.” He calls before Izaya has the chance to walk back into the bedroom.

He turns toward Shizuo with what looks like a taunt on his lips but Shizuo expected this and throws the clothes at him preemptively. They hit him in the face and he catches them before they fall to the floor and he’s grinning brightly in Shizuo’s direction when he skips and then starts running into the bedroom. Shizuo chases after him, discarding his towel and the shirt he’d only just started to pull over his arms. “Don’t you dare—”

“Pick up a knife?” Izaya teases from his standing position on top of Shizuo’s sheets, “I didn’t. My clothes aren’t exactly somewhere I can get to them without you catching me first.”

“I don’t know where you keep all of them. You might have extras stored under my mattress or something. You’ve been here when I haven’t. I wouldn’t put it past you.”

“Aww, Shizu-chan thinks so highly of me!” Izaya giggles and flops onto his back, “There aren’t many places to hide knives in your apartment. And I have Shizu-chan for protection if I need it.”

“You don’t need my protection.” Shizuo grumbles and climbs into bed next to Izaya, “Are you hungry yet? We can eat later if you want to.”

Izaya turns his head and smiles at him, “I’m hungry for your—”

“That is not what I meant.” Shizuo growls, “You  _ always  _ say that.”

“That’s because it’s always true.”

“Can you—Izaya that’s not.” he sighs and leans up on an elbow to slide his fingers into Izaya’s hair, “It’s Valentine’s day and we’re laying in my bed, naked and not eating the dinner or dessert I had planned and all you can talk about is my dick.”

“The same as always then.” Izaya announces proudly, “Though we could be doing something  _ romantic  _ right now if you’re really that upset about it.”

“I’m not upset, you’re just making it very hard to concentrate.”

Izaya reaches up and fits his fingers into Shizuo’s hair and tugs him down toward him. Shizuo has to adjust his angle so as not to pull Izaya’s hair, despite the urge to respond to Izaya doing that very thing to his own. But Izaya’s lips are there, just below his when Izaya locks his arm and blinks hooded eyes up at him. “You’re making it very hard to concentrate too.”

“What do you need to concentrate on?” Shizuo asks, his lips brushing Izaya’s as he speaks. It’s distracting enough that he can forget about the fist the other is making of his hair.

In complete disregard for what they’ve both just stated, Izaya pulls one of his legs up and wraps it around Shizuo’s waist. “You” is the only answer Izaya gives. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wanted more than 4k words of fluffy 19-year-old Shizaya banter, here it is. I started writing this six months ago and I wanted to update it yesterday because that was exactly six months, but instead I spent the entire day (all the way up to 4 this morning actually) writing this. It just kept going and I didn't want to stop them in the middle of their bantering so. Leaving off with almost sexy times once again. I'm so good at that.
> 
> Izaya is canonically a terrible cook so that gave me the idea for this. Shizuo teaching Izaya how to make food is one of my favorite things so I thought I'd implement that since it's already been here, unexplained. 
> 
> I don't want to ramble and I'm a bit tired so forgive me if I seem at all off or if I missed anything in editing. I'll look over it again when I've slept more. But anyway! I hope you enjoy this massive chapter of fluff and I hope everyone has a good day!!


	47. Melted

It’s one of the last Sundays before graduation and Shizuo has been in a constant state of anxiety over it. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do after he graduates, though he has a few ideas and a few places he’s been hoping will hire him, but he wants nothing more than to spend an afternoon not thinking about it.

Izaya texted him a little over an hour ago asking if he’d like to meet up in town somewhere.

He honestly doesn’t care what they do as long as Izaya doesn’t stab him and he doesn’t have to fill out more job applications.

He’s not expecting Izaya to mention the possibility of ice cream at the last moment.

Shizuo stares at his phone for several seconds before he can bring himself back to coherence enough to say, _I thought you hated sweets?_

_You don’t._

He doesn’t know how to react to this so he doesn’t respond. It’s another few minutes before Izaya gives him an address to meet him at and then, _Today is a girl day._

Shizuo smiles faintly to himself at the recent memory of Izaya trusting him with this information and types quickly to avoid the inevitable nervousness perceived hesitation would cause, _I’ll meet you there. Thank you for telling me._

It doesn’t look like Izaya is wearing anything easily identifiable when he gets there and he thinks it’s likely that she’s still worried about someone noticing. But then he notices that her nails are painted red and he grins at her frown when she notices what he’s looking at. “I didn’t do that. It was Kururi. She insisted.”

Shizuo shrugs, “I didn’t say anything.” Izaya sighs and then he feels his grin pull wider in unconscious response to his next words, “I like it. Red is your color.”

Izaya glares up at him and turns around abruptly to start walking in the direction of the shop they’re going to. “Like I said. I didn’t do it.”

He catches up to her easily and matches his pace to hers, “Would you have done a different color? Why did Kururi want to paint your nails?”

Izaya shrugs and fidgets with the edge of her coat sleeve, “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about painting them before and Kururi didn’t say _why_ she wanted to. She just came up and sat next to me and pointed at the bottle in her hand.”

Shizuo hums and falls into the silence Izaya seems to want. The weather is pleasant, not too hot and there is a slight breeze, which he thinks must be why Izaya wore a coat. This one isn’t black, which surprises him a bit. It’s pale yellow and the fur along the hood is a color that reminds him of caramel. She’s wearing dark blue jeans and a pair of black sneakers but he can’t see enough of her shirt to make out what it looks like. Izaya catches him staring and smirks, “Are you checking me out, Shizu-chan?”

Shizuo looks away and can feel the beginnings of a blush along his cheekbones, “No. I see you all the time, why would I want to check you out.”

Izaya twirls around in a circle and skips a step ahead of him so that she can walk backward in front of him, “Because I look cute. You can never keep your eyes off of me, don’t deny it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re not cute, you’re a flea. Fleas ain’t cute.” Shizuo grumbles and his face is only growing warmer the longer Izaya grins knowingly at him, “Turn around, you’re going to fall.”

“I won’t. You wouldn’t let me.” Izaya sounds absolutely serious about this, but she turns back around and steps to the side to make space for him. “Shizu-chan worries too much.”

“Shut up. You’re reckless.”

“And so are you. That’s why this works. It evens out.”

Shizuo takes a breath with the intent of expressing how nonsensical that is, but then Izaya tugs on his sleeve and he looks down and is knocked breathless by the smile on her face. She’s looking at something through the window on her right and Shizuo forces himself to look away from her and toward whatever it is she’s looking at.

It’s a cat cafe and there are small kittens resting on a cat tree near the window, a soft pile of black and orange fur and pink noses that brings a slight smile to his lips to match the brightness on Izaya’s own.

They only stand there for about a minute before Izaya continues walking. “As I was saying, it evens out.”

“What. Oh, no it doesn’t. What the fuck.” Shizuo growls, “If we’re both reckless how does that even out at all.”

“Because you also worry your butt off and it keeps us in check.”

“How does.” Shizuo stops talking when Izaya’s words register. “That only works with you sometimes. Usually you do the exact opposite from what I want you to.”

“Yes, but that’s because it’s fun, not because I’m being reckless and willing to get hurt.”

“You _laugh_ when I throw things at you, how the fuck is that you not being willing to get hurt.”

“You haven’t thrown anything at me in weeks, Shizu-chan.” Izaya argues, “And I know you can’t and won’t actually hit me so what’s the point in being intimidated by it?”

Shizuo doesn’t say anything in response to this. He knows Izaya is right about this so there is no use in arguing further. Izaya knows this and is smiling smugly beside him, a slight skip to her step and if he were to look down he’s sure she’s swaying her hips in an attempt to draw his attention, but he’s not going to do it. She’s already accused him of checking her out, he doesn’t need to be accused of staring at her ass.

The ice cream shop Izaya has chosen has small private booths and it seems odd at first, but when she kicks her feet out to rest them against his shins he understands why she chose this place. They’re sitting closer than he’s used to being in public and he keeps expecting her to back away, but she’s looking directly at him and appears more relaxed than he’s seen her in public before. Which isn’t to say there isn’t still tension in her shoulders or sharpness in her eyes or sarcasm on her lips, but she looks happier, content.

He’s not sure what reason there is behind this, but he likes seeing her this way.

He doesn’t say this, instead reaches for the menu in front of him and stares at the long list of flavors. He hears Izaya give a breathy sigh from across the table and she toes at his shins until he kicks back at her and she giggles.

When the waiter comes back over to take their order and turns to Izaya, Shizuo can already feel his shoulder hunching in defensive aggression at the pronouns he’s sure to hear directed at the other, but the man smiles and asks for her order without directing any pronouns at her and he relaxes immediately when Izaya shoots him a tiny smile.

The man bows and walks away to retrieve their order and Izaya raises an eyebrow at him, “I thought you were going to throw him across the room with how hard you were glaring at him.”

“I thought he was going to be an asshole.” Shizuo growls in an undertone, glancing sideways to stare at the man’s back where he’s waiting for their order. “I know you don’t like it when it happens.”

Izaya kicks him and he turns to glower at her but Izaya’s eyes are soft and the expression dies away half-formed, “It’s alright, Shizu-chan. I’m used to it. And it’s better if you’re the only one that knows.”

Shizuo narrows his eyes and turns his gaze down and away from Izaya, to the fist his hand has made against the edge of the table, “You shouldn’t have to be used to that.”

“That’s just unrealistic, Shizu-chan. We can’t all be as idealistic as you. And besides, it’s hard to keep up with. Most people don’t have good instincts to catch onto these things like you do.”

He growls under his breath and is still frowning when the waiter comes back with their ice cream. Shizuo had half expected Izaya to order something coffee flavored, but she asked for strawberry. He chose vanilla and Izaya smirks at him when the waiter walks away, “Do you want to share?”

Shizuo blinks uncomprehendingly at her and then abruptly glares at her when it hits him why she chose strawberry, “You did that on purpose. No. You eat what you ordered.”

Izaya frowns and pouts and it’s several minutes before Shizuo looks up from his half-finished ice cream cone to see a pink trail of strawberry along the palm of Izaya’s hand. He doesn’t think about what he’s doing, just reaches out distractedly for Izaya’s wrist and brings her palm to his mouth and licks against it.

It’s not until he blinks open his eyes and catches Izaya’s gaze that he realizes what this looks like. Izaya’s eyes are wide and her mouth is open on surprise and her lips are soft and he wants to kiss her but they’re in public so he settles for kissing her palm instead.

Her hand is slack in his grasp and her eyelashes flutter when he slides his lips against the soft skin of her palm and presses a kiss against her thumb before he releases her, “You had ice cream on your hand.”

Shizuo watches as she blinks distraction from her eyes and then she’s looking at him with something heated and soft and sharp all at once so he turns back to his ice cream and tries to ignore the pressure of her feet on his shins. She kicks him once and he looks up to find her still giving him that look and she has done nothing to stop the flow of ice cream down her hand.

Shizuo sighs and reaches forward for her hand again and she hums pleasure at him when his tongue licks across her skin again. He looks up to meet crimson irises and when she whispers, “Please don’t stop.” he loses coherency and tightens his grip on the cone in his other hand and it falls onto the table.

He releases Izaya immediately when he hears the footsteps of their waiter and a call of “Are you alright?” from the man. Izaya looks unsatisfied and Shizuo breaks off the hold her eyes have on his and sits up straighter to explain what just happened to the waiter.

Izaya pouts when Shizuo is offered another and he’s not really feeling up to the time it would take to make his way through it anyway so he turns it down and Izaya slides forward on her side of the booth to offer her cone to him when the waiter walks away, “Now do you want to share?” There is mischief in her eyes and Shizuo suspects there was a plan to this impromptu date, but he doubts she planned this all out. “Or do you want to leave so we can be alone?” She says this in a tone he’s certain is meant to be seductive but her voice cracks at the end when he reaches forward to tug her hand closer to him so that he can have a proper taste of her ice cream before she does something stupid like dropping it on the floor.

“We can when this is gone.” Shizuo responds.

Not even five minutes pass before the entire cone is finished and Izaya is tugging him out of his seat and toward the door. She pulls him into the alleyway beside the building and presses her back against the wall, smiling up at him when he steps in close. He leans down and captures her lips in his own. He pulls away when she tries to lick into his mouth, startled by the cold of her tongue and she smiles brightly and pulls him back to her again.

Izaya’s tongue is cold, but her smile is warm and Shizuo can’t think of a way he would rather spend the rest of his evening than with Izaya in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry it took awhile to get this updated. I was busy with some things and also Summoned demanded a lot of attention to write that first chapter. I'm almost finished with classes so I'll be able to focus and get more written after that. Anyway! Here is some cute Shizuo and Izaya on a date on a girl day. I hope you enjoy it and I hope you've all been doing well.


	48. Extinguished

Shizuo hates violence. He always has and that truth is deeper set in his veins with every instance of violence he participates in.

He doesn’t remember the reason for the fight he’s in right now and doesn’t care to think too deeply on it when his blood is singing with adrenaline and his vision is hazy with the anger he can feel like electricity burning a path through his body. It’s been days since he lost his temper and he had a good morning without any incidences on his way to school today. But now he’s in the midst of a crowd of students and individuals that are definitely too old to be on the soccer field, let alone his school campus.

In the back of his mind he feels a stab of regret. Kasuka had asked him to be safe and try not to get in trouble before he left the house today and here he is doing exactly the things he had promised not to do.

No matter how hard he might want to stop the fight or leave altogether, he’s unable to calm down enough to make himself do it. His body takes over and there is no way to stop once he’s this furious.

The only upside of this is how distant it all seems. The crunch of bone under his fingers, the resistance against the metal of a pole he doesn’t remember reaching for, the stench of iron and sweat in the air, all of it is far off like he’s seeing it from under water. It’s not until there is nothing to hit that he can take a breath of air and try to force himself back into the space of his own body.

He has barely made any progress when he hears a gratingly familiar voice calling “Shizuo-kun!” and he loses what little calm he had.

Shizuo twists around with the intention of growling something at Shinra in response but he stops when he sees that the other isn’t alone. He brought someone else here to see the spectacle that is the _Monster of Ikebukuro_ fighting and that alone would be enough to convince Shizuo to finally punch Shinra in the face if not for the fact that the person beside him doesn’t look afraid.

The anger in his veins falls marginally to be replaced with amazement at whoever this is and how it’s possible for someone not-Shinra to be anything but afraid of him. But there they are, looking at him with open interest and wide eyes that match the crimson blood smeared across Shizuo’s knuckles.

The other is sitting on a desk and though their posture is casual there is a tension along their shoulders. And then they shift their posture and their mouth falls into a grimace before being pulled up into a smirk. Shizuo glares at the other’s lips, at the smirk that reads as a taunt.

“This is Orihara Izaya, my friend from middle school. He’s kind of a jerk and he’s never been very good at making friends, but I thought you two might get along! I had to ask him dozens of times to join biology club...”

Shizuo ignores the rest of what he’s saying because Izaya has shifted his posture again and he’s staring steadily at Shizuo as if he is expecting something from him. His skin burns with a need to move, to do something other than stand in this exact spot while a stranger stares at him with a smirk on his face.

The sound of Shinra’s voice ceases and Shizuo exhales a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. And then Izaya’s lips part and Shizuo is struck with a sense of unreality at the sound of his voice. “That’s not very nice Shinra.”

It’s not an impressive sentence and Shizuo himself has told Shinra similar things before when he wasn’t demanding he shut up for once. Orihara’s voice is beautiful. He’s never heard a voice he paid any particular attention to, only some that he has outright avoided to the best of his ability. But this person makes words sound like music, makes them feel like silk, like something soft that would usually draw Shizuo’s attention.

It _is_ drawing his attention, but his spine feels like it’s on fire and his body is still singing with adrenaline. All he can feel is suspicion and irritation at the sound of the other’s voice despite how pleasant it sounds. He knows that sweet sounds or scents can come from something poisonous and the taunt on the other’s lips convinces him this is an attempt to piss him off.

And then he growls, “I don’t like you.”

If he had full control over his body, he would punch himself in the face for saying something so obviously stupid to someone he just met. He doesn’t like him, so it’s not a lie. But he does like the way he looks and sounds, even the shine in his eyes in immediate response to Shizuo’s words is more appealing than Shizuo would care to admit. No one has ever challenged Shizuo before and it’s an odd conflict of feelings playing at the back of his mind as he watches Izaya’s lips pull wider into a grin as he purrs, “That’s too bad. We could have a lot of fun together.”

Shizuo doesn’t decide to move. He’s frustrated and anger is pulsing through his body alongside left-over adrenaline from the fight he just ended, but he doesn’t expect it when he surges forward and aims a punch at Izaya’s face.

It doesn’t connect. He doesn’t feel the crunch of bone. It’s the splintering of wood under his knuckles and the sound of laughter all around him instead, like Izaya has vanished into the air itself. And when he turns around to look for him that’s exactly what it seems like.

He can’t see him at all until something stings across his chest. He stumbles backward and brings a hand up to his chest.

“What the _fuck_.”

Izaya is standing in front of him with a bright grin and giddy energy radiating off of him. Both are at odds with the knife in his hand, “Isn’t this fun, Shizu-chan?” Shizuo’s shoulders tense at the sound of his name used with such taunting familiarity. “I could do this forever and never get bored of it!”

His excitement and enjoyment of the violence the two of them just exchanged bleeds irrational fury more fully into Shizuo’s veins and then he’s growling again and throwing the pole he’d been using earlier.

Izaya ducks into a roll and sprints through the hole the metal makes in the fence. Shizuo doesn’t hesitate to chase after him and he doesn’t stop until he’s hit by a truck. He’s groaning in pain and frustration on the concrete when he hears Izaya pay the driver of the vehicle that hit him.

He must black out for a few moments because Izaya is nowhere to be seen when he blinks open his eyes and sits up to look for him.

As it turns out, Izaya is at Shinra’s.

Shizuo has had enough time to calm down by then, but at the sight of the other sitting calmly while Shinra bandages his knuckles--Shizuo has no recollection of Izaya hurting his knuckles so he doesn’t know where _that_ came from--he’s overcome with annoyance and yanks the door off its hinges.

He doesn’t know what he’s planning to do with it exactly, but he doesn’t get the chance to find out before Celty intervenes. She blocks the view of Izaya smiling at him and Shizuo would never attack Celty, Shinra must have told Izaya this because they both grow quiet aside from Izaya’s muffled giggling.

Shizuo can still hear him even after Celty ushers him down the hallway to sit in Shinra’s room and she doesn’t allow him to leave until Shinra comes to tell them Izaya went home.

He half expects it to be a lie because Shinra is the one that brought Izaya to watch him fight this afternoon and didn’t warn him that Izaya would be here when he’d texted to ask if Shinra was home.

Shinra sounds excited when he tells Shizuo the cut in his chest is likely to scar. The antiseptic stings annoyingly and Shinra continues to prattle on about Izaya for several minutes before Celty distracts him with a question about dinner. Shizuo zones out after that, only paying attention if Celty shoves her pda in front of his face.

Celty gives him a ride home and he’s waving goodbye to her when he remembers the promise he made with Kasuka about not getting into trouble today.

He’s intimately aware that getting into two fights and run over by a truck count as trouble and the bandage across his chest is clear evidence that he didn’t keep himself safe. He sighs and stands in front of the door knowing that he won’t be able to avoid questions about what happened forever.

He isn’t sure what to tell his mother when she inevitably asks about his day.

Maybe he’ll say he met someone Shinra thinks he’ll get along with and then promptly tried to punch him in the face. But he thinks Shinra might be right. Izaya seems like someone he could get along with if they made enough of an effort. Izaya isn’t afraid of him and that is an incredible enough fact on its own to draw Shizuo’s interest.

Shizuo really doubts Izaya will make anything easy though and he knows they won’t make any positive progress if he can’t keep his temper in check against whatever prodding Izaya does.

But he doesn’t think it’s impossible.

If anything, he has an invested interest in trying to be friends with him to prevent further damages to school property if not just for having a friend that isn’t Shinra.

Shizuo sighs in defeat and opens his front door.

Maybe he’ll just tell his mom he got distracted by something pretty.

It wouldn’t be a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said a few months ago that I was going to get to Shizuo's pov of their first meeting, so here that is finally! I'm kind of proud of it? Shizuo is always so much fun to write. Which isn't to say Izaya isn't, it's just different. It feels different, if that makes sense. 
> 
> Anyway! It's been only a little over a month since I updated this, but it felt a lot longer than that? I got a kitten, I've been struggling with various types of stress, and I had to finish up class work, so I apologize for the delay on that. I'm working on a chapter for Patterns of a Monster right now along with the next part of Summoned, so even though I feel unproductive I am still accomplishing doing some writing almost daily. I hope you're all doing well and are staying safe.


	49. Cracked

Shizuo is getting really tired of having to visit Shinra. He doesn’t even like the guy; this isn’t a friendly visit. He’s here because Izaya keeps slicing him open and he can’t just go home like that or his family will worry about him more than they already do.

Shinra doesn’t ever stay quiet for the half hour or so Shizuo is in his apartment either. He whines and complains about how frequently he has to waste his time on Shizuo like this and then talks about how Celty doesn’t love him back when Shizuo glares at him in annoyance for being an ass about this.

Izaya is his friend, and Shinra has claimed to be his. He can deal with helping Shizuo with the fallout of his attempt at making his friends get along.

Shizuo is really tired of hearing Shinra talk.

So today, after a long and particularly unpleasant, unsuccessful chase, Shizuo has decided he’s not going to give Shinra the chance to talk his ear off.

He stands in front of the other boy’s front door and waits for him to let him in with a glare already fixed on his face. It feels like an almost permanent fixture at this point. Izaya pisses him off on a daily basis and then has the gall to tell him he’ll get wrinkles from frowning all the time.

As if he can stop!

He’s still seething. Izaya can’t just leave well enough alone.

He doesn’t even hate him but he wants to at times such as these.

The door opens and there’s Shinra, with that detached and overly friendly smile on his face. “Shizuo-kun! How unexpected.” He gives him a once over and opens the door for him, “Come in! I’ll go get my supplies. Sit on the couch and wait for me.”

Shizuo rolls his eyes when he turns his back and disappears down the hallway, “I’ve been here enough times, Shinra. I know by now what I’m supposed to do.”

“And don’t get any blood on the couch! It upsets Celty.”

“Fuck off.” Shizuo mutters under his breath, closing the door harder than necessary and kicking his shoes off. He still makes sure to set them neatly aside though. This isn’t just Shinra’s house and he wouldn’t want Celty to trip on them if she wasn’t paying attention. “I’m not even bleeding that heavily.” He says a bit louder.

He stalks into the living area and frowns at that stupid pink apron in the kitchen. He seriously hopes Celty doesn’t wear shit like that just because Shinra wants her to.

“Disgusting little creep.” He grumbles. The couch already has a towel laid across the back and Shizuo narrows his eyes at it suspiciously.

“Your fights aren’t ever subtle.” Shinra announces from behind him and he glares at the wall. With the towel spread out over the back of the couch, he sits down and shrugs off his jacket. Shinra is setting out tweezers and needles, stuff for stitches and the usual rubbing alcohol and bandages.

Shizuo looks at the tweezers in confusion, “What are those for?”

“Hmm?” Shinra blinks at him distractedly and shrugs, “I never know with you what might be embedded in your skin without your notice. Better for me to be prepared than leave a rock lodged in your back, don’t you think?”

Shizuo thinks that’s pretty smart, actually. But he doesn’t think there’s anything stuck anywhere. He doesn’t feel like it anyway. There’s not any extra pressure anywhere but in his chest. That’s purely from anger though and he’s more than used to that feeling. Even if he can’t ignore it, it’s familiar enough that he’d know if it was different.

Halfway through the burn of Shinra cleaning out a deep gash between his shoulder blades--he has no recollection of that happening--he starts growling to himself about Izaya. “Does he have a death wish or somethin’? Why’s he gotta piss me off every single day?”

He didn’t expect any response from the other boy, but to his surprise and irritation Shinra felt like giving his opinion on the matter, “I don’t know about a death wish, but he certainly likes your attention.”

Shizuo grits his teeth at what feels like Shinra lighting the bottom edge of his shoulder blade on _fire_. “The fuck is that supposed to mean.”

“It means he likes your attention. I don’t really care to look further into it.” He states happily.

Shizuo curls his hands into fists and Shinra tells him to relax. He doesn’t. “He’s your friend isn’t he? You’re supposed to at least care about whether he lives or dies. That’s how friendship works.” Shizuo growls and then amends, “On a very basic level anyway.”

He can feel Shinra shrug before he pulls away to reach for another piece of cotton, “What Orihara-kun does is of no interest to me. If he wants you to break his limbs then that’s an inconvenience, but otherwise I don’t care.”

“What the fuck, Shinra?” Shizuo glares at him over his shoulder.

“Why do you care so much, Shizuo-kun?” Shinra asks and doesn’t hesitate to continue without letting him respond, “You complain about him and claim to hate him at any given opportunity. And he does the same thing. You have no reason to be loyal to him or defend him from me. He doesn’t defend you.” He laughs nervously and Shizuo frowns. “Ahh, not that I have anything bad to say about you to Orihara-kun of course.”  

Did he just...admit that Izaya talks about him?

That shouldn’t be a surprise but somehow it’s really...kinda flattering. Shizuo looks forward and he’s thankful that his hair covers his ears. He tries to glare at the wall or his hands, anything to burn through the blush glowing on his cheeks, but it’s not working. Shinra doesn’t so much as laugh in response to his embarrassment. He does stab a needle into his back and Shizuo feels the dull ache of it for a second longer before he is too distracted to care.

“Izaya...complains about me to you?” He asks in a voice that is far too uncertain.

Shinra hums at him and stabs the needle through his skin again, “Of course he does. I’m his only friend.”

“Well?” Shizuo coaxes after a moment of silence, “What does he say about me then?”

“Oh no, I can’t tell you that.” he tugs on the thread and stabs through his skin one more time before he ties it off, “As intimidating as your anger is, Orihara-kun’s manages to be more of a threat. At least with you I know you won’t hurt me too badly for Celty’s sake, but Orihara-kun? He doesn’t care if Celty hates him.”

“You can’t tell me what he says, but you can tell me he does it? The hell kind of reasoning is that, Shinra?” Shizuo grumbles and stretches his shoulders a bit when Shinra moves away to pick up some gauze.

Shinra slaps his arm, “Don’t do that. You’ll tear the stitches I just did. I’m not wasting my time putting more in so stop moving.”

Shizuo grits his teeth. He’d really like to punch Shinra across his living room but he doesn’t. He sits still while Shinra rubs cotton against the bottom of his ribs. While he waits for the burn of alcohol to subside he looks around the room.

Other than that ridiculous frilly pink apron in the kitchen, there’s not much else that denotes Celty’s presence in the form of things Shinra wants her to have. There is a coffee mug on the kitchen counter with a chibi version of Shinra painted on it that Shizuo has to fight back a laugh at when he sees it.

Under the tv there are a few game consoles that Celty has invited him to play on with her, but he prefers watching. If he were to get angry he might break the controller and he’d really rather not break anything else that belongs to Celty than what he already has.

He’s done enough damage to the front door and any breakable cups he’s been given in Izaya’s presence, that’s more than enough.

“What was Izaya like when you met him?” Shizuo asks after a while. He tries to make his voice as neutral as possible and he thinks he succeeds but the hint of a smile on Shinra’s face tells him otherwise.

Shinra pours alcohol on a pad of gauze and holds it firmly against Shizuo’s bicep, his expression is one of concentration until he looks up to meet Shizuo’s eyes with the barest hint of smugness on his lips. He has no idea what Shinra thinks he has to be smug about. It’s a simple question. “You’re awfully talkative about Orihara-kun today.”

Shizuo tenses up immediately and glares pointedly at the gash in his arm, “Probably because I just spent three hours chasing the guy and all I’ve got to show for it is this shit.”

Shinra laughs at him, not even trying to hide it this time, “You know. When I introduced the two of you this is not what I had in mind.” He lessens the pressure on Shizuo’s arm and rubs the back of his hand across his forehead, “I’m not here for the two of you to complain about each other to just because I introduced you.” He smiles and his eyes have a faraway look in them, like he’s thinking about something entirely unrelated, “I really don’t care what either of you have to say.”

Shizuo frowns at him in confusion, “What the fuck are you talking about? Izaya’s your friend. If you didn’t want us to complain about each other maybe you shouldn’t have introduced us.”

“Maybe. But do you really think you wouldn’t have met each other without my interference? You get in fights outside of school all the time, even without Orihara-kun’s input. And he puts himself in danger often enough that the two of you would have come across each other in my living room at some point anyway. It was better to get it out of the way.”

“Did it really have to be right then?” Shizuo growls at him, “When I was already pissed off from a fight and you knew I wouldn’t have the patience to deal with you, let alone anyone else? Were you trying to make me hate him?”

Shinra’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, as if the thought hadn’t occurred to him at all, “You’re always in a bad mood, Shizuo-kun, and Orihara-kun will never be a good enough person for you to have any patience with him. You’ve been around him on a good day. In fact, that _was_ a good day for him and you still hated him and attacked him on sight. There wasn’t going to be a good opportunity.”

Shizuo stares at him in disbelief for a long moment. He knew Shinra wasn’t especially attached to Izaya, it’s been very obvious to him the whole time he’s known him that he doesn’t get attached to people, but even still he claims that Izaya is his friend. That is not a way anyone should talk about someone they’re supposed to care about.

He might not like Shinra that much but he cares enough about him to not want him dead, even if a large part of that is because he knows Celty cares about him in some capacity. Izaya has family that would miss him if something happened to him. He might be unpleasant but he’s not as bad as Shinra makes him out to be, surely.

Shizuo glares at the couch while Shinra wraps a bandage around his arm and then continues glaring even after that. Once his shirt is buttoned and Shinra has cleared away his medical supplies, Shizuo clenches his jaw hard and with a slow breath out of his nose he grabs Shinra by the collar of his shirt.

“Are you telling me you don’t care at all what happens to me or Izaya? You just wanted us out of your hair and the most convenient way to do that was to throw us at each other’s throats.” His voice is very low, very calm, and if Shinra knows what’s good for him he won’t lie about this.

Shinra doesn’t say anything for the length of two breaths and then, “I don’t care what either of you do.” sounding entirely unconcerned about the consequences of such a thing.

Shizuo tightens the hold he has on the other’s collar, “Did you ever care?”

Shinra’s answer is immediate this time, “No.”

For as long as he’s known Shinra, he’s never been this angry with him. He doesn’t remember caring at all about what he’s had to say, but right now he cares too much. His blood feels like liquid fire, his spine feels like it’s made of ice, and he doesn’t know any better outlet for it than violence.

So that’s exactly what his body acts on.

His fist connects with Shinra’s cheekbone before he’s even decided the amount of force he wants to put behind the hit and it sends him spiralling into the wall beside the door to the balcony. The glass creaks loudly and all of the shit hanging on the walls falls to the floor around them. Shizuo stands exactly where he is, just long enough to see Shinra gasp for breath.

Then he reaches for his jacket and turns to leave.

He doesn’t care if Celty gets upset over this and for once he doesn’t care how much damage he just did to the apartment. It was worth it just to feel the crunch of Shinra’s bones under his knuckles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh. I don't have any chapters where it's not purely about Shizuo and Izaya, with both of them present. So here's. This. I'm not going to pretend it's been a short period of time since I updated this, but my gosh does it feel good to come back to it. I love this story so much and I've already put so much into it, it's hard not to feel good about it even when Shizuo is this angry. Actually especially when Shizuo is this angry. There aren't a lot of instances of him being this passionate (with anger at least) so it feels good to include it. Finally. 
> 
> Do I care that Shinra got hurt? Not in the slightest. 
> 
> I'm going to update this one more time before I update Summoned, so please bear with me anyone that's also reading that. I'm taking classes and I've been really busy. Anyway, I hope all of you are doing well and that this update is enough to make up for that huge accidental break I took from this.


	50. Needed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part was written with Isaac in mind. I don't know you very well, but I wanted to give you something soft to get you through what's been going on.

Shizuo never gets drunk. 

He doesn’t like the thought of what he might be like when he is and the closest he’s ever come to it, before now, was during one of Shinra’s halloween parties. He had been very lucky to be all over Izaya instead of focused on anything else that day. If something had pissed him off he doesn’t know what he might have done. He’s pretty thankful for that honestly, and when he woke up to find absolutely no bruises printed in Izaya’s bare skin he was thrilled by his self-control. 

It’s only because of that and Tom’s insistence that he can help calm him down that Shizuo lets himself go out to a bar on Tom’s birthday. 

He’d known about it for weeks prior and Izaya had smiled when he told him about it, encouraging him to go and enjoy himself. 

Shizuo wanted Izaya to go, but he insisted he’s too busy working on a case for Shiki. 

The bar is quiet, one of those ones where the lighting is dark-but-not-too-dark and the whole place smells like wood and clean fabric. It’s probably really expensive to upkeep a place like this. In fact, it kinda reminds him of the place he worked when Kasuka gave him that box of uniforms. 

He smiles at the thought. He really liked that place. 

“Hey Shizuo,” Tom says suddenly, too loud and too close, “d’you think Orihara’d like this place?” 

Shizuo tilts his head to look at him, trying to keep the world from blurring out of focus but not really succeeding. He blinks hard and that’s a bit more successful, “Dunno. ‘S’not really big into bars usually.” 

Tom nods and waves his glass around in a wide arc, almost hitting the bottle of sake but before Shizuo has a chance to warn him he stops the motion just shy of it. “The whole place just makes me think of ‘im.” He pauses for just a moment and glances over at Shizuo with an apologetic expression on his face, “I mean from how you’ve described his taste, not cuz I think about ‘im regularly or anything.” 

Shizuo tries to smile reassuringly but his face feels numb so he can’t really tell if he succeeds or not, “It reminds me of him too. Just.” He frowns hard at the wall behind Tom. “‘S’hard to think of Izaya in a place like this is all. Doesn’t even like alcohol.” 

“Really?” Tom asks, sounding surprised, “Not at all?” 

Shizuo shakes his head and regrets it, “Nope. Doesn’t like it. He’s drank a few times but ‘e’s a frickin’ lightweight and gets all snuggly.” He smiles to himself just thinking about that time he tried to crawl under Shizuo’s shirt, “S’really cute.” 

Tom’s smirking at him when he glances up from the spot he’s staring at on the table, “What d’you mean ‘snuggly’?” 

Shizuo grins, “One time, think it was a reunion? Anyway, he was cold an’ tried to burrow into my shirt. Wouldn’t get out’ve it even when I told ‘im it was time t’go home.” He chuckles, remembering the way Izaya had grumbled at him, “He was alright after I picked ‘im up though because he could hug me proper.” 

“That doesn’t sound bad t’me. Why’s he hate it so much?” 

Shizuo shrugs, “Doesn’t like the loss of control over his thoughts and actions probably.” 

“Ah,” Tom nods and then blinks several times, “yeah I can see how that’d bother ‘im.” 

“He’s real careful ‘bout drinks with ‘is clients. Or at least he says he is.” Shizuo frowns down at his empty glass and the slowly melting ice cubes in it, “He’s most comfortable with Shiki, I think. But even with ‘im he doesn’t drink.” He shoves a hand through his hair as he tries to remember the one time Izaya wasn’t with him when he drank a bit more than he intended to. “Pretty sure he had too much wine with Akabayashi once.” Tom laughs quietly and Shizuo huffs amusement at him because he can see why he finds that funny, “Gettin’ a call from yakuza in the middle of the day isn’t real reassuring.” 

“But he was alright when you got there wasn’t he?” Tom asks in a tone that suggests they’ve discussed this before but Shizuo continues on anyway because he likes talking about Izaya. 

“Course he was. He’s too important for them to let anything happen to him.” Shizuo sighs and shakes his head, feeling the very beginning of a headache forming at the base of his skull, “‘zaya was laying on the couch in Shiki’s office, lookin’ all dejected until he saw me.” His own expression melts into warmth at the memory, “Fuck I miss ‘im. His smile makes me all warm n’ fuzzy.” 

Tom has an eyebrow raised when Shizuo risks a glance over at him, the moment of silence having dragged on a bit too long and Shizuo feared his friend had fallen asleep. The look he’s giving him isn’t much better than sleep would’ve been. There’s laughter in his eyes, but exasperation on his lips, “You saw him, what? Four? Five hours ago? And you miss ‘im that much?” 

Shizuo nods too vigorously and sends the world spinning but he keeps his gaze level where he knows Tom’s face is, “I miss him every time I leave the ‘partment. D’you not miss Akabayashi when you’ve not seen him in awhile?” 

Tom chuckles deeply, one of those full body laughs that used to be so rare for him, “Well yeah, but five hours is a bit soon to be sounding this desperate.” 

Shizuo rolls his eyes, “You’ve not been together long enough to understand.” 

His friend shakes his head, “Pretty sure you’ve got that backward, Shizuo.” 

“Who’s the one that’s been dating their partner for ten years now?” Shizuo demands and Tom holds up his hands in mock defeat, “That’s what I thought.” 

Tom laughs at him again. Shizuo shrugs him off. Everything falls quiet around them and Shizuo slumps back in his seat. Tom speaks up, “Y’know you can go home whenever you want, right? Aka’ll be here soon anyway and I doubt you wanna be playin’ third wheel when you could be at home with Orihara.” 

Shizuo considers this. He doesn’t want to leave his friend alone, but at the same time he  _ really  _ wants to go home and see Izaya. It’s late enough that Izaya’s probably in bed by now, or on his way there. Shizuo smirks to himself. He’s pretty proud of himself for being able to fix the despicable wreck of a sleep schedule Izaya used to have. 

“Another few minutes, then I’ll go home.” Shizuo agrees, “Gotta text Celty to let her know I’m ready for her to take me home. Izaya’ll kill me if I walk.” 

Tom nods his understanding and leans against his palm while he watches him send a brief text that he can only hope makes as much sense as he thinks it does. “How’re the cats doing? Still demanding you greet them when you get home?” 

Shizuo sets his phone on the table and shoves his hair out of his face in annoyance, “Not really? They’re gettin’ too old for that kinda shit now. They do still peek out at me when I walk past ‘em though.” 

“That’s good. At least they’re learning. They’re smart creatures.” Tom leans back in his chair and crosses his legs with a furrow of concentration wrinkling his forehead. “Kinda surprising it took them as long as it did, actually.” 

Shizuo chuckles under his breath and is startled when his phone vibrates on the wood of the table. The sound is far louder than he expected it to be and he regrets putting it on the table. He picks the phone up and flips it open, responding distractedly to Tom as he does so, “Oh they knew better all along. They’re just spoiled and get away with too much for them to care too much when I get mad at ‘em.” 

He clicks open Celty’s text of [I’m here, whenever you’re ready.] and smiles at the polite tone she’s using. 

“She must’ve been nearby to get here that quick.” Tom comments from across the table. 

“Yeah, she said she was in the neighborhood tonight. I’d’ve used a cab otherwise. Don’t really wanna inconvenience her more than I already do.” Shizuo explains as he tugs on his coat and shoves his phone into his pocket, “Are you sure you’re gonna be alright until Akabayashi gets here? I can stay a bit longer.” 

Tom waves him off, “I’ll be fine. Tell Orihara I said hey.” 

Shizuo grins, “I will. G’night Tom-san.” 

When he opens the door to leave he almost runs into someone. He scowls at his own carelessness and starts to apologize before he notices who it is. The cane should’ve given it away. “Akabayashi.” Shizuo mumbles and the man smiles at him warmly.

“Heiwajima-san. What a pleasant surprise.” He tries to glance past Shizuo into the bar, “Is Tanaka-san still here?” 

Shizuo raises an eyebrow at his tone and the odd formality with which he’s talking about Tom, “Yeah, he’s,” Shizuo points off-handedly behind him, to his left, and watches the yakuza’s eye follow the movement, “sittin’ over there.” 

Akabayashi meets his eye again and continues smiling, “Thank you.” he steps back to hold the door open as Shizuo walks past him, “I hope you have a good night, Heiwajima-san.” 

Shizuo nods his thanks and waves without turning back around, “You too. Take care of Tom-san.” 

The wind is blowing when he steps outside and he zips his coat up against the chilling bite of it. Celty is leaning against Shooter not too far from the door and she waves at him to catch his attention, already typing away on her pda before he reaches her. 

[Did you have a good time?] There’s an emoji after it that Shizuo doesn’t recognize but it makes him think Celty is trying to show her support. 

“Yeah, it was fun. Don’t really want to make a habit of it though. Just special occasions, y’know?” 

She tilts her helmet to the side and Shizuo steps closer to Shooter so he can brush his fingertips along the leather seat where his back would be if he were a horse instead of a motorcycle. “Are you takin’ care of Celty like I asked you to?” He asks in a low voice. Shooter makes a noise that he takes as affirmation. “Thanks.” 

Celty is watching him when he looks up and he rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed, “So uh, are you headed home after this?” 

It takes her a moment to type out her response. [I’ve got one last thing to do before I head home, but after that, yes.]

Shizuo huffs a laugh, “Bet Shinra’s not too happy you’re out this late.” 

Celty shakes with silent laughter as her fingers fly over the keypad, [Sometimes I take extra jobs just so he’ll have a reason to whine at me.] She pulls the pda back toward her chest and types slower before she shows him the screen again, her body language more relaxed and obviously affectionate, [I miss him when I’m away too long.] 

He can understand that. He was just gushing about that exact thing to Tom. Celty seems flustered by the admission and swings her leg over Shooter’s back, shoving her pda in his face frantically before he has a chance to respond to her. [We should go. It’s late and you need rest.]

He sees it for the excuse it is but he doesn’t mind too much. He is tired and he really wants to get home so he can see Izaya. He checks his phone for new texts--there aren’t any--then replaces his phone in his pocket and settles onto Shooter’s back behind Celty. 

She flashes him a brief [Hold on] and then they’re flying down the road, almost before he has the chance to grab the back of the seat. 

It barely feels like they’re touching the asphalt and no matter how many times Celty and Shooter give him rides, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to that. It’s almost giving him vertigo, the mixture of the lightheadedness from how fast they’re going and from the alcohol still in his system is a bit more than he can handle. 

Instead of continuing to hold on to the back of Shooter like he usually does, he leans forward to hold onto Celty. The feel of her shadows under his palms reminds him of Izaya’s hair, only less... _ there _ . 

“D’you ever worry about Shinra when you leave ‘im alone?” Shizuo asks quietly, pressing his face into Celty’s back, “If he ever got hurt when you weren’t there, that sorta thing.” He listens to the wind rushing past and the sound of traffic around them. 

“‘zaya got hurt once. I wasn’t there when he went off to meet a client that he knew was dangerous and just like that,” Shizuo grits his teeth against the wave of fury and the underlying ache of sadness, “happens so fast. He got hurt and I didn’t hear from ‘im until late the next morning. Still dunno who did it.” 

He falls silent for a while as he stews over this, suddenly worried for Izaya’s safety even though he texted him less than an hour ago saying he was finishing up work for the night. Shizuo knows, rationally, that Izaya has been in the apartment all evening and the most dangerous thing in there--aside from Izaya himself--is the cats; they’re not likely to claw him up too badly either. 

He winds his arms tighter around Celty’s stomach, still very aware of the amount of force he’s putting behind it so he doesn’t hurt her. “I love ‘zaya so much, Celty. I don’t say it enough.” He breathes out harshly and ignores the burning behind his eyes, “He’s so amazing and beautiful. It’s so hard to breathe when I’m near him sometimes.” He laughs at himself, “Sounds silly when I say it out loud, doesn’t it?” 

He thinks he feels Celty shake her helmet but it’s hard to tell. Shooter lets out a low whine as he takes a turn and speeds up when he straightens out. 

Shizuo barely notices the turn or the change in speed. All of the motorcycle’s movements are smooth and light. Celty probably doesn’t have to hold on to steer him at all. 

Shizuo starts phasing out and lets himself doze for the few remaining minutes of the ride. He almost falls off when Shooter comes to a full stop in front of his apartment building. Celty grips his arm until he catches his balance again. 

“Sorry.” He mumbles tiredly. 

And then he looks over at the familiar door that leads to  _ home  _ and he’s suddenly awake and desperate to get inside. He thinks Celty notices because she barely tries to follow after him to say goodbye, taking his half wave and almost shouted  _ G’night  _ as enough warning that he’s not in the mood for conversation anymore. 

The lobby is empty aside from the familiar face of the receptionist that doesn’t spare a wave when he comes through the door. He can feel their eyes on his back until he steps into the elevator and shuts the doors. 

Shizuo has always hated the elevator in this building. It takes too long to climb the floors and release him from its grip, but he definitely doesn’t have the balance for climbing that many flights of stairs tonight so he settles for glaring at his reflection along the wall for the duration of the long climb upward. The elevator only stops once and the couple takes one look at him before closing the door and sending him on his way without their interruption. 

Sometimes his intimidating presence pays off in ways he’s glad for. 

He waits until he’s in front of the door before he digs his key out. He’s always been terrified of dropping it in the elevator. Or down the elevator shaft, which is even worse. It’s better to be safe and with how much difficulty he has fitting the key into the lock, he’s pretty thankful for that habit. 

The front door swings open to reveal a dark apartment, the only light inside coming from outside the windows on the far wall. But he’s not looking at that. He’s glancing over the signs of Izaya’s presence. His shoes tucked neatly by the wall, his jacket hung up on the hook, his keys in the bowl on the table. 

He lets out a sigh of relief and steps inside, letting the door shut quietly behind him. He makes sure to lock it back before he kneels to untie his shoes. The laces are harder to figure out than usual but with a bit of extra force they untangle and he can slip them off to leave them beside Izaya’s. 

Next is his coat. The zipper sticks at the base but he manages to wiggle it free after a very short-lived struggle. He hangs it up on the free hook and runs his fingers along the fur on the other’s hood, and then continues trailing his fingers along the wall as he walks further inside. 

He can hear the cats moving around and there’s a few curious chirps, one in particular that stands out as Nyx’s quiet  _ mrow _ . It makes him smile but he doesn’t stop to greet them. There’s a blanket on the couch that betrays Izaya’s tendency to lay on the couch with the cats while he works when Shizuo isn’t home to see. Shizuo chuckles under his breath and makes a wide berth around the cat tree. When he gets to the stairs he skips up them two at a time. 

The world feels tilted when he gets to the top of them but he doesn’t care, he’s closer to Izaya faster this way and he doesn’t have to have good balance to find his way to their bed. 

He doesn’t take his time yanking his shirt off and unbuckling his belt on his way across the room, only pausing long enough not to trip over himself as he pulls his pants off. He almost doesn’t make the detour necessary to grab a pair of sweatpants, but he knows from previous experience that Izaya will be annoyed if he walks around tomorrow in a hungover haze in just his boxers. 

He has to feel his way along the edge of the bed to find where the blankets are bunched up on the side he always sleeps on. Izaya’s wrapped up tightly beneath them. When his fingertips graze Izaya’s shoulder he feels him respond immediately. His voice is a bit husky as he slides over marginally to allow Shizuo room to climb under the blankets behind him, “Shizu-chan?” 

Shizuo huffs something that might be a laugh or something more pained than that, he can’t really tell. “I’m home.” He says it in the barest whisper against the top of Izaya’s head. 

He might as well have shouted it for Izaya’s response. He turns around and curls his fingers up into Shizuo’s hair to tug him even closer, very much awake now. “Mm. Welcome back.” 

Shizuo presses a gentle kiss into his forehead, and then another along the bridge of his nose, his cheekbone, his fingertips when he giggles and brings them up to touch his lips. He wraps one arm around Izaya’s waist and buries his free hand into the dark silk of his hair. 

He loves how Izaya feels against him, warm and relaxed with the weight of sleep, alive and happy, his skin so soft he can’t understand how he’s an actual real person and not made out of clouds or marshmallows or something even lighter than Celty’s shadows were under his fingertips. 

Izaya’s fingers trace out the shape of his lips and then trail down his neck and Shizuo takes the opportunity to tilt Izaya’s head and lean in to slant their lips together. He tastes sweet, like vanilla and mint, which Shizuo knows is from his toothpaste but underneath that there’s that hint of  _ Izaya  _ and that’s what he wants to chase down. He kisses him slowly, with small presses of his tongue against Izaya’s, light nudges against the roof of his mouth or along the inside line of his teeth. After what feels like an eternity and only a breath, Izaya presses against his palm on Shizuo’s chest to coax him back so he can breathe. 

When Shizuo opens his eyes to look at him he can see him searching for an explanation without words, his gaze lingering on Shizuo’s eyelashes. They feel heavier than usual. “What was that for?” Izaya asks, very quietly, his voice gentle in the safety of the moment. 

Shizuo leans his forehead against Izaya’s, “Because I love you.” 

Izaya lets out a surprised gasp and Shizuo doesn’t wait for him to respond to him before he’s kissing him lightly on the lips again and repeating himself, “I love you, Izaya.” 

Izaya’s body has started shaking by the sixth time he’s said it. His voice is growing more desperate with each utterance while he leaves barely-there kisses all down his jaw and his neck. He feels Izaya’s fingers wind into his hair. Shizuo rolls over to settle above Izaya, leaving a more lingering kiss on his collarbone. He skims his fingers along Izaya’s side, feeling his ribs individually with the flat of his thumb. “I love you so much, ‘zaya.” 

His body shudders in something that is neither rejection nor refusal and he feels one of Izaya’s heels press into the back of his thigh. It’s not insistent. It’s bracing. 

Shizuo pulls himself up onto his elbows to look down at Izaya under him. He has to blink a few times to clear his eyes. His cheeks are damp. Izaya is staring at him with an expression that’s hard to read for all the depth it contains at once. Shizuo brushes his hair back from his forehead and kisses him there. “You’re so beautiful.” 

Izaya doesn’t say anything, but he feels the tremors running through his hands even with how hard he’s pressing them into Shizuo’s chest. He might be scratching him, Shizuo can’t tell and doesn’t care if he is. “God, Izaya I love you so much.” Shizuo says again, his voice breaking apart at the end, “I don’t know how to exist for how much I love you.” 

Izaya lets out a very shaky laugh and holds Shizuo to him by his hair so he can’t see the whole expanse of his expression, just the intensity of his eyes in front of his own. Both of his heels are pressing hard into the backs of Shizuo’s thighs and he can feel the tension in his legs, in his fingers in his hair, in each breath he takes that brushes his chest against Shizuo’s. 

“I can’t really give you an explanation on that one, Shizu-chan.” Izaya’s eyes are shimmering with something more than the reflection of the light from the window, “But I do know what that feels like.” 

Shizuo thinks he sobs at this admission, but it could easily have just been a laugh. He’s so happy it’s hard to tell the difference between the two. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is, without a doubt, the softest thing I have ever written. They're 27 and deeply in love. I wouldn't have it any other way. If it's a surprise to anyone that Shizuo is a sappy drunk: where have you been for the entirety of this fic and my others? That's all I've got to say on the matter. 
> 
> I hope you're all doing well and that today is a good day for you. <3


	51. Flustered

Because they planned their vacation so far in advance they had plenty of time to pack the proper clothes and make reservations for activities they each wanted to try. Everything went over smoothly with packing and getting to the hotel.

The only problem is that they have to walk everywhere and Izaya doesn’t do well with the cold.

“Are you sure you’re warm enough in that?” Shizuo asks skeptically. Izaya’s nose and ears are bright pink from the air brushing against them and though Shizuo thinks it’s cute, he’s certain it’s unpleasant.

“I’m fine,” Izaya grumbles. He has his hands stuffed in his pockets and he’s shivering despite the many layers he has on.

Shizuo raises an eyebrow, “...if you say so.”

Izaya doesn’t respond, only tugs up his hood and shoves his hands more firmly into his pockets. He’s wearing the thermal gloves Shizuo bought for him last year. It makes him smile, though he’s careful not to let Izaya see.

It started snowing as soon as they arrived yesterday evening and it hasn’t stopped since. Shizuo’s never seen so much of it in his life and he plans to enjoy the experience while it lasts. Though that would be easier if it was only him, he can’t even feel the cold yet, but Izaya clearly can’t stay out in it for very long.

The town center is sparsely inhabited, most of the people around keep their heads down as they shuffle past, with the few exceptions of those staring up at the sky in wonder or giggling with their friends.

Shizuo and Izaya are headed to a cafe that Izaya found on his phone. He’d been absolutely appalled when he found out there wasn’t one closer to where they’re staying. It would’ve been cute to watch him pace around if he hadn’t been pissed and tossing around a knife that Shizuo didn’t know he had with him. He doesn’t actually know how he got it past security.

“Finally.” Izaya sighs under his breath and walks faster for the last few yards to the door. He steps inside before Shizuo can catch up and he’s already sitting down by the time Shizuo gets inside. The air is cozy and warm, if a bit strongly scented with vanilla and some kind of spice he’s unfamiliar with. He shrugs off his coat and settles across from Izaya, who is rubbing his hands together and mumbling to himself while staring at the menu on the wall farthest from them. He’s probably trying to decide what he wants even though Shizuo knows he’s going to ask for some strong ass bitter coffee without any of the extra things that make it tolerable.

Izaya glances at him with a half smile and then looks away again as if he knows what he’s thinking. Maybe he does, they’ve gone to enough coffee shops where Shizuo’s complained about it. “Would you like hot cocoa, Shizu-chan?”

That sounded only half as condescending as it usually did.

“I was considering it, yeah,” Shizuo frowns at the snicker Izaya tries to smother, “and are you going to get black coffee again?”

His eyes go sharp in response, but the smile remains on his lips, “I was considering it.”

“Maybe we should both try something new. We are on vacation for the first time in however long.”

“We’ve never taken a vacation.”

“That was my point.”

Izaya’s eyes go back to the sign, “They have an espresso and dark chocolate hot cocoa that I might enjoy.”

Shizuo nods thoughtfully and searches through the menu for something new that doesn’t sound completely foreign. He pauses at the tea section when he sees the name of what sounds like something Celty has offered to him before. “What’s a chai tea taste like?”

“Spices, mostly cinnamon in my opinion. If that’s what you’re going to try, I’d suggest getting the latte version. It has milk in it and I know how much you enjoy that.” Shizuo glances over at him to gauge his expression, but he’s already getting up, “I’ll be back with our drinks, you wait here.”

Shizuo nods even though he knows Izaya isn’t looking at him.

While he waits he tries to pay attention to the other patrons instead of staring at Izaya’s back, or at his butt, or at the way his hair is messy in the back where his hood was resting. That makes him want to run his fingers through it to fix it. Instead of doing that he rubs his fingers together and makes himself look away.

The cafe is very cute, in his opinion. He doesn’t usually believe other people’s opinions on that when he sees them in the reviews for things but he agrees with them this time. There aren’t too many Christmas themed decorations like he’s used to seeing in places like this, especially this time of year. Instead, they have tiny animal sculptures and lots of leaves, with only a few strands of ambient lights set up in what would be the dark areas of the room. The creams and greenery contrast with the bright colors of the people sitting at the tables.

It’s surprisingly quiet considering how busy the place is, now that he’s paying attention. He wonders what’s absorbing the noise so well. If he could figure that out maybe he could get some of it for their apartment. There’s way too much open space and flat surfaces, he thinks. He knows how well their voices carry along with any other noise. The cats are quiet creatures usually but even they seem loud in the space of their apartment.

Izaya’s arm in his face makes him come back to himself, “Here. I asked them to put whipped cream on it for you.”

Shizuo blinks up at him and takes the paper cup from him, “Thanks.”

“Yeah.” Izaya settles across from him again and immediately takes a long gulp from his cup. He knows how much the other likes the heat that comes off of freshly made cups of coffee, but he still doesn’t think it’s very safe for him to do that. He’s seen other people burn themselves on cocoa before. It happened to Kasuka once when they were children.

“Doesn’t it hurt when you do that?” Shizuo asks, expecting the same answer he has always received.

Izaya tilts his head and brings the cup down to set it on the table. There’s chocolate on his lips and on the very tip of his nose. Shizuo doesn’t say anything. “...I like hot things.”

“You’ve expressed that before.” He murmurs, ignoring the upward curl at the corner of Izaya’s lips and the way he’s toying with the rim of the cup, “That’s not what I asked though.”

Izaya shrugs, “Sort of. I’m used to it. Years ago I did it because it hurt though.”

Shizuo frowns, “Why?”

“Initially I liked the ache of it. Then I did it as an intimidation technique, I think? I read about it a long time ago and it has worked in the past,” he shrugs again. “Now it’s just a habit.”

The ache of it. Shizuo’s brow knits in thought. He used to do things like that. Only instead of drinking hot coffee or tea it was ripping street signs out of the concrete, or letting himself get hit with baseball bats or knives just because he hated how none of it _really_ hurt.

This is something they very rarely talk about and now isn’t the time to get into it, he knows. “There’s chocolate on your lips,” he mumbles.

“What?” Izaya sticks his tongue out very slightly to lick his lips while he reaches for a tissue.

Shizuo leans forward while he’s distracted, gently brushes his hair back with one hand and reaches forward with his other to collect the chocolate off of his nose and onto his thumb. It only mostly comes off, leaving a small smear of it behind, but Izaya lets out a tiny breath and his cheeks go pink again.

Shizuo grins, leans fractionally closer so he can speak into his ear, “I got it.”

He retreats back into his space before Izaya has a chance to slap him away. The narrowed eyes and flustered pink on his cheeks is reward enough for the lecture he’ll receive later, though he didn’t _technically_ do anything unacceptable.

He watches Izaya grit his teeth in silence and wipe harshly as his nose before he takes his cup in hand and turns entirely away from Shizuo in a full pout. They finish their drinks in silence, with Shizuo watching Izaya contentedly and Izaya glancing around the room at all the other patrons while he tries to ignore Shizuo’s eyes on him.

On their way back to the hotel, Shizuo steals a kiss on Izaya’s nose and then another on his lips. Izaya rewards him with a snowball to the face and a huff of frustration but nothing more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to being mushy, slightly angsty adults in love, I see. 
> 
> It's been awhile since I wrote anything so take this fluff as an apology. I'm hoping to get a bit more writing done and posted this week, so keep an eye out for it. I've been very busy and struggling on and off with depression and writer's block which has all, unfortunately, kept me from posting since May. Maybe I'll be back on my game now that everything has settled down though. 
> 
> Anyway, enough of that, I hope you're all doing well and that you get to rest at least during winter break if you have one.


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